Fear of Falling in Love

Chaotic Mind (Gerhard Errando)

On a clear Saturday I took Cicilia to Obersee Lake. That said, the majority agree that nature is always able to provide the best romantic nuance. Well, this place is famous for being located in the Bavarian district in the southeastern part of Berchtesgadener National Park. Its area is 473 km2 and its depth reaches 51 m. The lake was formed due to melting glaciers in the Alps centuries ago.

To reach Obersee Lake, I had to take a boat through Lake Konigssee to the Saletalm pier, then walk for 15-20 minutes. 

"Ger, isn't it? Is it still far from the place? Too long?" cicilia said she began to protest as I led her way with my eyes covered in cloth.

"Yes, just a moment. Patience."

My steps stopped when I was right in a wooden house in the middle of the lake. I slowly opened the covering cloth in Cicilia's eyes.

"I count to three, you open your eyes" I said.

"1 ... 2 ... " I give you a cue. "Ti .. ga." Cicilia started to open her eyes.

"Where do you like it?"

His eyes twinkled and closed his mouth. "I don't know what else to say to you. I swear, really cute," said Cicilia amazed to see where she stood. The water is so clear that it can see the rock bottom for several meters. In addition, the lake is also a perfect reflection of the surrounding scenery, including the high walls of the mountains.

"Thank you, yeah." Cicilia hugged me tightly. "Just a minute, I'm going to the toilet first."

Cicilia walked over and asked the people where the toilet was. While waiting for Cicilia, I played my phone to open social media. Instagram. Unfortunately, on the homepage appeared a happy post Gerald because after received his application was accepted by Martha Agnia aka Nindya Maharani.

My face turned crumpled. There's a crack, but not a tree branch. But deep down my heart. Should our love story end like this?

Cicilia's back. I don't know what the devil was, I clasped his hand. "Cil, in this place I want to say something to you. You want to marry me?"

I myself do not know this is a sincere proposal from the heart or just an impingement because I do not want to lose to Gerald and Martha.

Cicilia's eyes glazed over. "Really?"

"Yes. I seriously. I'm sorry I didn't bring people's kayak rings when I proposed to her. Couldn't the ring follow?"

Cicilia smiled sweetly. He stroked my hand. "Darling, the ring is just a symbol. What matters is your sincerity and seriousness in committing to go further with me."

"So your answer?"

"Yes, I want to see you."

I kissed my running forehead to my lips. We then embraced to enjoy the beauty of Obersee Lake.

***

For some reason, I suddenly strayed into the biggest discotheque in Germany. I ordered a lot of alcoholic drinks. I should be happy because after applying for Cicilia, my proposal was accepted. But, in fact, no. My mind is just fucked. The shadow of Martha Agnia, Gibriel, Gerald is raging in my head.

"Why the hell should Maratha be the one I love?" kataku. My hands continued to pour the alkolhol into the small glass. Then I took it.

Someone touched my shoulder. "Eh, you're Gerhard Cicilia's boyfriend, right?"

Half-consciously, I turned around and could recognize the person. Francoan.

"Hi, Bro. How are you doing? What's in here?" I know she definitely doesn't understand my Indonesian words. But I don't care.

"Just looking for some fun to relief the stress of the ones you've taken from me."

"Duh, sori ya Bro I snatch your chick. Abis how dong I need him to make manasin my ex." I'm not clear the effect of the more alcohol I drink.

"OKAY. Not problem. I don't really love him either. Now let's have some fun."

***

I was shocked when I woke up in a foreign place. My head is still dizzy seven-round. But I forced myself to walk. Outside the room looks Gibriel.

"Where is the gue?" I asked while walking staggering.

"Lo in my apartment. Last night you were drunk, so the bar manager called me to pick you up. Ger, sit down."

I'm according to sit next to him. Suddenly he pulled out his cell phone. My eyes widened. On the floor of his phone was a picture of me kissing Franco. The photo was uploaded by a gossip account.

"What does this mean?" ask Gibriel.

"No way," I said. I'm trying to remember last night. At first glance appeared the scene I was stressed because I could not unite with Martha. Then, I drank a lot, met Franco. That Abis I don't know what happened anymore.

"Lo again what's the problem so I'm like this? Please take care of our family's good name."

Brak!

I'm sick of Gibriel blaming me. "My problem was in Lo. Nindy who has the same problem lo, why should I be the one with the consequences!" I yelled annoyed while scrambling the frustrated hair.

"Gue just wants to be happy with the person I love. Why do you keep blocking my happiness?" My tone is getting higher.

Gibriel standing. "Oh, so you think I'm a barrier to your happiness? Okay, fine. It's up to you to do anything. I don't care and don't mind me anymore!"

"Res ... Resty!" gibriel called his wife.

Resty emerged from the room. "Yes, Honey. What's up?"

"Now you're cleaning up. We're going back to Indonesia tonight!"

With a puzzled look, Resty complies with Gibriel's request.

Ting!

Message notification from Cicilia.

Honey, where are you? I'm in your apartment. Can I meet you now? There are things I want to talk about that are important!

I'm sure he must have been questioning the truth of the photo with Franco. He must be very angry. Maybe disgust with me. However, I think it's my honest chance that my feelings are only for Nindya aka Mareth Agnia and can break up with Cicilia.

***

When I got back to the apartment, Cicilia was already sitting pretty on the sofa watching television.

"Old man, I was in Gibriel's apartment, my cousin," I said as soon as I entered. I took off my shoes and put them on the shelf.

"No papa."

"You're gonna want the truth of my picture to be with Franco, right? You must be disgusted with me now. I can tell you, that's not true." I catch my breath first. "Last night I was drunk. Franco used that to frame me."

Cicilia got up from the seat. He hugged me tightly. "I guessed it. You cannot be what people talk about. You just calm down, I trust you."

I'm gaping. Cicilia's response was beyond my prediction. If he's like this, I hesitate to tell the truth about my feelings of only loving Nindya. I don't have to killusin Cicilia either.