Dusk At the End Please

Do'a Between Adhan and Iqamah Pause

Morning was still blind, the dawn prayer had just reverberated. Shanum squirms, collecting the life that is still flying.

"Alhamdulillahilladzi ahyana ba'dama amatana wailaihinnusur" he said slowly.

Ringing the alarm in his car was not heard he just remembered that last night turned it off. Shanum moved from his bed to the bathroom, to carry out the duties of dawn.

As planned, today the mother's rice stall is still closed. All employees are given time to rest after the grand event yesterday. Shanum is more relaxed he plans to spend time in the room alone with Humairah, redeeming some days that he did not have time to play with the boy. A precious opportunity that Shanum won't waste.

Shanum started his morning by being in the kitchen, humairah mumpung has not yet awakened he intends to cook fried rice his nephew's favorite.

Tok ..shop...

The sound of knocking on the door did not divert Shanum from his fried rice. Ms. Hana who just came out of her room after the tadarus immediately headed to the front room to open the door.

"Who in the morning have you been visiting?" mumbling slowly.

Bu Hana was aghast when she saw the handsome young man with slightly wet hair standing before her.

"Son Akhtar?" Bu Hana opened the door of his house wide, Akhtar's lips looked pale indicating that he was currently cold.

"Please, come in. I'm sorry I stood up, shocked at this time Nak Akhtar came here" Ms. Hana said honestly.

"Your mom's okay, right? no complaints yet? yesterday he said that his cholesterol had relapsed" after Akhtar sat down, Ms. Hana asked about Ms. Fatimah, she was worried if something happened to her best friend.

"Mother thank God, Ma'am, yesterday we drove Ghifar to Aki's house"

"Oh Alhamdulillah. Then Nak Akhtar wait a minute yes, mother get a drink first" said Bu Hana, but a second later Bu Hana who will leave him to the kitchen stopped because of Akhtar's call.

"Sorry Mom, don't bother. I just want to see you, is she Mom?" Bu Hana frowned at Akhtar's words, and nodded his head in doubt.

"Father is still in the mosque, Nak Akhtar can wait first?"

"Can Ma'am, I'll wait for you" said Akhtar steady. Ms. Hana passed by leaving Akhtar alone in the living room towards the kitchen.

"There's a guest, ma'am? who?" Shanum who was making fried rice turned his head when he saw the mother coming. At first glance he heard his mother chatting with someone in front.

"Yes, there's Nak Akhtar's tea"

"Huh? Akhtar's? why?" shanum asked frantically, because he had just returned to remember their togetherness last night. One of the reasons Shanum made seafood fried rice this morning was because last night that became part of their chat topic was about Mang Sule fried rice which became Ahsan's favorite when coming home from the Dormitory.

"You see my father, he said, I don't know what to do either. Let's go meet there!" Ms. Hana asks Shanum to meet Akhtar, so she takes a cup to make a warm tea for Akhtar.

"Idih why you have to find it when he wants to go to the Father" Shanum protested to his mother. Bu Hana turned her head at a glance seeing there was a different hue on her daughter's face, she gave a smile. Wishing her conjecture to be true, if the princess had already begun to open her heart.

"Yes, let mother deliver a drink, pity it seems like she is cold, maybe wake up Nak Akhtar directly here yes" Bu Hana spoke without looking at Shanum who was even cool to enjoy his own fried rice.

Arriving in the living room, Bu Hana saw that Mr. Imran was already there with Akhtar, he let Akhtar enjoy the warm green tea he brought.

"Mom, sit here first" Imran told Bu Hana to sit next to him.

"Son Akhtar said he came here because there was something to tell us"

"Yes, sir" Ms. Hana sat next to her husband, still holding the tray. He wondered what Akhtar would say.

"Father, Mother, I previously apologized if my arrival was too early to disturb Father and Mother. Honestly, last night I couldn't sleep wanting to go early in the morning and see Mom and Dad. Hence after the dawn prayer I went straight here" Akhtar sighed, pausing his words after explaining the chronology of his arrival.

"What I knew last night will continue to be in my memory. Maybe Mom and Dad knew a little bit about me with Shanum. Back in our teens we were close friends, but circumstances required me to get away from Garut" Akhtar told his story in the past, how could he be in Garut and have to go back leaving Garut with all his memories. Including the monkey love that leads him to true love but circumstances require Akhtar to bury his feelings for Shanum deeply.

"Since the beginning I have tried to accept if maybe we are not a match, even though I have to be sincere. It takes a struggle that is not easy to get to that point. But the reality that I only learned last night, makes me hope again that this is the answer to the do'a-do'a that I have been waiting for so far. If Shanum is the one I'm going to, that Shanum is where I go home"

"I believe the best expression of longing is to pray for each other. Hoping, may with patience, Allah reward us for the meeting" Akhtar said with glazed eyes, remembering that his struggle to hold all the feelings in his heart for Shanum was very heavy.

Ms. Hana and Mr. Imran also listened to what Akhtar said carefully, they were carried away by the atmosphere. Knowing full well how their eldest daughter had to make sacrifices by ignoring her own feelings all along.

Fauzan had already told all about Shanum and Akhtar's love story to the two of them without Shanum's knowledge. As parents, of course, their hearts are also hurt, but they can do nothing but pray for the best for their children. Mr. Imran and Mr. Hana know how Shanum never troubled them, always trying to solve his own problems. Revealing a cheerful face with a smile on her lips when meeting them. Shanum didn't want his parents to be sad about it.

"Now, I have again had the opportunity to achieve my own happiness and my intention of coming here to see Father and Mother is to ask permission for me to approach Shanum" Akhtar said firmly, saying, he was determined to move faster this time. Do not want to lose another opportunity, maximize yourself bury ikhtiyar and continue to skyrocket do'a. Akhtar believes there is always hope for those who often pray. There will always be a way for those who try.

*

Shanum was done with his breakfast. For a long time he enjoyed a plate of fried seafood rice made by him while waiting for the mother who did not return after bringing a cup of tea for guests who came.

Shanum was curious what his mother was doing up front, intending to peek at the situation but the incoming phone ringing from his device stopped the action. He was aghast, as fast as lightning ran towards the stairs to return to his room afraid of being caught if he was peeking.

The sun began to crawl up, its light began to warm the universe with all its contents. Shanum got out of bed, received a call from his best friend Liani while lying down to make him drown in daydreams again.

Tok.dok...

The sound of knocking on the door returned Shanum's consciousness from his long daydream. Thinking about many things, especially about his conversation with Liani all along on the phone.

"Teh, waiting for Nak Akhtar below" slowly Bu Hana opened the door of Shanum's room wide, he came to tell Shanum if Akhtar was waiting for him.

"Huh? want what?" shanum unconsciously reacted again than usual, with nervousness on his face when he heard that Akhtar was waiting for him.

"Yes, I don't know. Hence the meeting, askin himself with Teteh" Bu Hana mumbled his smile, seeing the look on the face of his eldest daughter who blushed when talking about Akhtar.

"Yes already, mom comes down first. Want to make fish pepes for Ms. Fatimah, mumpung no nak Akhtar, so I want nitip. Teteh cepet gih meet nak Akhtar. Pity him if you wait too long" Bu Hana reminded again, he also walked out of Shanum's room first.

"Huuhh" Shanum let out a rough breath.

And here they are now, babancong which is usually used as a mushala for stall visitors who want to pray. And used as a place for lesehan when the stalls stop doing activities. When Shanum came down from the second floor of his house to the living room he did not find Akhtar there. Ms. Hana told me that Akhtar was in the backyard.

The sound of water gurgling coming from the water faucet that is deliberately flowed just like that to maintain the circulation of water in the pool seems to be natural music that completes the heartbeat of two people who are increasingly tightening.

There was still no sound, each of them seemed to be diving into each other's feelings, seeking the justification of every taste that grew more and more fertile in each other's hearts.

Shanum recalled his conversation with Liani a moment ago on the phone

'No, I really want to be angry. What you consider me, he says we're best friends but you're hiding something important from me. I know I'm not a good friend, but at least don't make me any more worthless in your eyes' Liani expresses her anger at Shanum, she felt very unappreciated when she found out that her best friend's husband had long since died.

'Sorry' is just an apology that was spoken on Shanum's lips, his eyes also glazed over when he saw Liani crying tears across the street. The beginning of the telephone turned into a video call.

'Now it's time for you to move on, Num. Do not continue to dissolve in the endless nestapa. I'm sure it's not hard for you to regrow the feelings you buried for Mr. Akhtar. Poor him Num, give him a chance to fight for his love again and when it happens you must really open your heart'

'Do not waste this good opportunity, follow your heart, do not be busy feeling unworthy, do not reject the feelings and reality later you hurt yourself. Mr. Akhtar already knows your true circumstances. Give him a chance, OK!' Liani rounded her thumb and forefinger which was only answered with a smile by Shanum.

Their call is over. Liani called Shanum to apologize for not being able to tell Shanum and his family directly. His plan to apply for a two-week leave failed miserably. Intentions want to ask Ahsan to help smooth his plan with Bu Fatimah and Bu Hana, even his own plan that failed because Ahsan did not approve.

He forbade Liani to leave because of her busy self in Jakarta, Liani had tried to give an excuse that her existence in Garut without Ahsan would be fine, she said, however Ahsan keukeuh did not give Liani permission to leave. Liani can only be in Garut if she is there. Ahsan's possessiveness started to show for Liani.

"It!" Akhtar held out a bouquet of white roses that he had been hiding behind his back. Shanum looked up, he stared at the flower without seeing the person who gave it. I still hesitate to accept the flowers. Akhtar pulled back the hand that was holding the flower, knowing Shanum was still reluctant to accept it.

"It turns out that there is more pain than being lied to, which is finding the truth out of someone else's mouth" Akhtar said with his eyes fixed on the fish fighting for food shortly after he threw the fish feed he took from the container hanging on one of the babancong poles, their current positions are side by side.

"meaning?" Shanum knitted his eyebrows together hearing Akhtar's statement.

"Here" Akhtar again threw fish feed into the pond which was greeted enthusiastically by dozens of colorful fish.

"There are some memories that we can't afford to repeat, which are just lamenting over their loss. But I hope you don't dissolve in that sense of loss" Shanum turned his head, glancing at the face of the man who was still enthroned in his heart, he began to understand where the conversation was going.

"A memory as sweet or as bitter as anything, is still a memory. Its value is not seen from how sweet and bitter it is, but from how much and in the lessons and wisdom it produces. There were times when, the painful bitter memories were much more valuable than the happy sweet memories" Akhtar turned forty-five degrees away, from the side he could see Shanum's face clearly.

"If you mean I lied with my status all along. I thought you were wrong, all this time I felt like I never lied about my status, if anyone asked me yes I answered soberly" Shanum clarified Akhtar's statement about the lie he meant.

"Shanum, are you married? I replied, because I am married. How's your husband doing? I answered well, because now that he is fine, he is calm before Him. Shanum where's your husband? yes, I replied in Jakarta because he was buried in Jakarta" Shanum replied lightly without taking his eyes off, he knew that Akhtar was staring at him. There was no more sadness when she said about her late husband, she had rearranged her heart. Be sincere with all that is destined for him. Expecting what is next is the same as expected.

"So why did you say yes last night when I asked if you called your husband?" Akhtar was furious with Shanum who replied casually without guilt.

"When?" shanum

"Overnight, in the car" Akhtar explained.

"Who answered yes, I just smiled to answer your question" Shanum returned to his alibi which made Akhtar even more anxious with the woman before him who had managed to damage his mood with the reality he had just known.

"You!" sidelines Akhtar, he was completely inexhaustible with Shanum responding to everything so casually.

"Hhe.sorry" Shanum just displayed a grinning face, he knew Akhtar was very upset with all the answers.

"This" Akhtar again held out the bouquet of flowers he still held in his right hand. Shanum finally received the flower,

"You're giving me flowers?" ask again, though,

"Yes, why?" ask Akhtar.

"I'm a lo man's wife" Shanum replied casually he smelled a white rose that was now in his arms

"Then, it used to be" interrupted Akhtar quickly,

"Well..." Shanum chuckled and it made Akhtar smile, there was a radiant warmth in his chest when he saw Shanum smile.

"You know Num, there's been something very beautiful about you" Shanum stopped his movements, waiting for the continuation of Akhtar's words,

"The most beautiful thing about you is your smile, your smile that transmits a smile on my lips" Akhtar said.

Blusssh.....Shanum turned his head away, he felt his face heat up as Akhtar said that.

"Right now I just want you to be aware, no matter how strong someone is, they're going to need someone else to be by their side, even if they just exist and listen and allow me to be that person" Akhtar said it firmly and straightforwardly filled with despair and hope that had been buried all along.

"I don't know why I still love you, the only one I know I'm happy with. Even when the body is separated the distance is reminiscing about you in the do'a is the most powerful way to shed the longing that always rushes in my chest"

Shanum's heart warmed when he heard everything Akhtar said.

"I've got a project out of town for two weeks, during which time let's get along. I hope you're ready with your answer when I get back" Akhtar ended his expression. Shanum sculpted he was unable to make a sound hearing everything Akhtar said.

"Nda.." The arrival of Humairah with Indri broke the silence that created him between them. Shanum also stretched out his two hands ready to welcome the baby's nervous g already started to be good at talking it into his lap.

"Eh there is a handsome gap, the beaches this morning are very bright, it turns out there are sandwiched early in the morning" Indri teased Shanum who was replied to a plot by Shanum. He also giggled at the expression of his older cousin.

"Teh, said uwa invite her handsome babang to breakfast, uwa already waiting in the kitchen" Indri told her his goal to meet Shanum who only answered a nod by Shanum.

"So this is your son?" asked Akhtar in a satirical tone.

"Yes, he is indeed my son" Shanum replied

"Ouh" Akhtar just rounded his lips.

"Why?"

"No" Akhtar replied with a smile

"You're saying I'm lying again?"

"No, who said?"

"If you want to say I'm lying again, I'm not lying Humairah was born from the womb of Rida, Rida my sister means I'm also the mother of Humairah too right" Shanum had a long, broad-alibi that was only answered with a nod by Akhtar

"Yes, right?" Shanum again confirmed Akhtar's answer

"Yes, yes" Akhtar replied with a still smile on his face, he repeatedly nodded his head reassuring Shanum with his answer, fearing that Shanum might get angry again. In his heart chuckled, feeling funny with Shanum's behavior getting here more and more showing himself as it is, Akhtar was glad Shanumnya began to return.

They went inside, Shanum led Akhtar into the kitchen to enjoy the breakfast the mother had prepared. While he was feeding Humairah who was always greedy with food prepared by the grandmother, because the fried rice he prepared for his nephew was cold

Dusk greeted, without feeling the existence of Akhtar in Shanum's house was long enough. Bu Hana held Akhtar who will retire after the dzuhur prayer on the grounds that the fish he made for Bu Fatimah was not yet mature.

Akhtar also spent time monitoring Shanum's stalls. In accompanying Indri the three of them discussed the plan of the warung development, Akhtar gave some input related to the interior in the stall to make it look more aesthetic and attractive.

Akhtar drove his vehicle slowly out of Shanum's courtyard. One big crib pepes special fish for the mother she keeps in the middle seat. Happiness re-emerged in his chest, his hopes one by one began to manifest. The road is quite crowded during the afternoon on weekdays makes Akhtar run his car at moderate speed. A smile continued to expand on his lips.

"Senja could be home, people go home from work to his home. The birds fly back to the fight. While your name returns in the do'a-do'a between the adhan and iqamah breaks, Shanum Najua Azzahra" murmured Akhtar.