Dusk At the End Please

Miss The Kutitip

Always telling the news without being asked is a small thing that can make someone feel meaningful.

Good communication is one of the essential elements of a healthy relationship. And that Shanum never experienced.

Ten years without news does not necessarily eliminate all the taste and hope of a Shanum.

A sense of love in silence that has only been him and God knows how deep it feels.

His hope re-emerges after he is lost again, expecting the arrival of a loved one to approach him and continue the pending despair and love.

He realized that the possibility for all his old hopes and loves to materialize was very small.

The beautiful story that strung out ten years ago gave him no clarity, the beloved went without certainty. Should wait or be finished until then.

Shanum's beautiful afternoon passed by in solitude, accompanied by a book that looked worn out.

Complex parks are his choice to spend the weekend.

The park now looks lonely, because most residents of the official house complex are outside, go home to their respective homes or just spend a weekend off outside.

Every weekend if there are no activities at school or in the foundation the educators are allowed to go home to their respective places or just on vacation, and must be back in the official house before working hours begin on Monday.

This weekend Shanum chose not to return to Bogor, he used to go home once a month to visit his parents and younger siblings. On holiday last week, he just got home.

Choosing to spend his time off by reading his favorite novel, as usual he took her in his solitude.

“ Between want to be alone, but I don't want to be lonely”, he murmured.

Shanum closed his eyes, looking up at the sky as if feeling someone's shadow was really real.

Slowly he submits his gaze, staring fixedly at the novel he is currently closing tightly. Slowly opened the page tucked in a piece of paper that had worn out anyway.

For the most part, in his own quiet time, he read the letter.

To “Shanum Najua Azzahra”

Shanum, I'm leaving.

Never enjoy solitude again in solitude,

Be the cheerful and inspiring Shanumku.

May tomorrow be better than today.

From “Akhtar Farzan Wijaya”

Garut, July 1, 2012

Lama Shanum was immersed in his daydream, thinking of finding a speck of bright light about his feelings and expectations all along.

Ten years have passed since the last letter he received.

“What the hell is a search”

Suddenly a familiar voice eared up startling Shanum who was a henchman in his daydream.

“You? Have you come home?” shanum asked Liani, suddenly she was sitting comfortably next to him.

“Since when sit here?” ask again.

Liani is a colleague of Shanum, on the same day one year ago they were accepted to teach at this school.

They are the same age and are still alone maybe that is one of the reasons they are quickly familiar. They also live next to each other in this teacher's office complex. They rarely spend the night together.

Liani Salsabila, an Egyptian-educated Arabic scholar. He came from Surabaya and settled in Bandung for three years. Previously he devoted himself in the boarding school where he studied before going to Egypt.

They first met while attending a study that was open to the public in the pesantren where Liani served, then they often collaborated in various study events.

And either by chance they were reunited in this place, both tried their luck following the selection of new educators needed by the Foundation Bina Insan Kamil, and fate reunited them, he said,

Both teach at the High School level and live in the official house, neighbors make them more familiar. Even if not in the school environment they are comfortable mentioning each other's names while chatting.

What the hell is it looking for?”, back Liani repeated her question.

“Kok still keep going on its own?” continued again.

Shanum glanced at him.

“Ngot looking for anything, just haven't met aja.”Answer with a smile.

“Standard is down hence”, said Liani.

“Create what?”, Shanum asked back.”which is exactly not even necessary to use standards. Which is serious may not be afraid of the status of anything”, he replied straightforwardly.

“Stupid kok hunted, mate tuh not have to first, anyway again race?”, reply Shanum while chuckling.

Liani flicked her lips, feeling defeated argument he chose to reach into the bag of crackle that he had brought earlier took a pack of his favorite potato chips.

“Move on dong Num, don't get too late in endless propitiousness.

Open your heart to others.

Give others the chance to give you happiness, you don't see the seriousness of Kak Ahsan, I really see the seriousness of loving you.

I know quite a lot about him, from the first many women who long to be his makmum.” Liani started speaking.

“Belief, God willing. Knowledge, certainly. Handsome, definitely. Mapan, obviously. If you are still traumatized, is not enough three years of healing?”. Liani blabbed at length in seriousness.

Shanum took a deep breath hearing the chattering of his best friend.

Their friendship was established long enough, making Liani know some things about Shanum. Liani knew that Shanum had been close to marriage and failed.

Three years ago after graduation S1 shanum returned to Bogor, moved from Garut his parents chose to settle in Bogor after his grandmother died, accompanying his grandfather who lived alone.

Shanum did not expect, three months in Bogor he was visited by a handsome young man, he was the son of his mother's friend at school.

Their first meeting was at a reunion event for Shanum's mother and her High School friends, Shanum, who were invited to be MCs at the event. While the young man came to take his mother.

Arya Shakti Dirgantara, a young man graduated from IPDN and worked as a PNS in the Regional Government of Bogor Regency.

It did not take long, the second meeting Arya came to meet Shanum's father conveying his intention to berta’aruf. Shanum's father allowed it and allowed Shanum to decide.

His parents were hoping that he would accept Arya's invitation to’aruf. Besides being very familiar with his family, Father and Mother Shanum also already know a lot about Arya, he is a sholeh young man, very affectionate with his family, polite and friendly, well-established and handsome as well.

One month through the process berta’aruf, Arya proposed to Shanum.

The plan is one month after their proposal will be marriage.

At that time Arya also had to follow the class out of town for three weeks, a week before the wedding she will go home and immediately apply for leave.

Shanum seemed happy to go through all these processes, Arya's presence gradually eroded the sense of one-handed clapping. Shanum steadied his heart to accept Arya as his priest.

But fate said another, on the way home from out of town after following the diklat, Arya had a single accident and reportedly died on the spot.

This sad news made both families shocked, not expecting the wedding preparations that had been 90 percent must be canceled.

After the incident, Shanum chose to continue his education.

Enrolling in the government-provided S2 scholarship program, Shanum returned to Bandung to continue his studies.

He also got a job as a Permanent Teacher at the Bina Insan Kamil foundation, a foundation that is famous in the country because it has quality institutions, both in the fields of education, social and health.

And this is where Shanum is now with Liani Salsabila. Devoting themselves to the people, practicing the knowledge they can during school with the bonus of various benefits and facilities.

Three months ago Shanum was called to the office of the foundation.

The manager of the foundation responsible for the Bina Insani High School education institution asked Shanum to face and really Shanum did not expect it turned out his goal was called to the foundation office because there was a lecturer in the foundation who wanted to’aruf with him.

Muhammad Ahsanu Amala, one of the lecturers at the college who took shelter under the same foundation as Shanum.

During this year, he said he had always observed the simple woman.

Feeling familiar with him, Shanum's memory laughed.

Shanum remembered that he was his senior brother, Chairman of BEM at the University where he studied. Shanum was quite familiar with it, because they had been involved in student activities on campus several times.

Shanum believed he was a good candidate for priest. As Liani said, many students, lecturers and teachers are hoping to become his master. But at that time, not Shanum.

Shanum remembered, on classic grounds he refused the invitation of his leveler brother to berta’aruf.

After apologizing with full earnestness he said goodbye, Shanum was about to leave the room where he was at that time.

Before Shanum came out through the door of the room, Ahsan called out to him and said, *Shanum, I will wait!*.

Shanum just shook his head while smilingly responding to it and passed from there saying his greetings.

“Come, Num.really I want you to be happy”, Liani's voice releases Shanum from her reverie.

“Entah, Li..”, the answer is short. Liani doesn't know Shanum is stuck back in a pseudo-love of the past.

Looking up his head, Shanum looked at the twilight sky which revealed the beauty of his throne.

*In the sky that you look at, there is a longing that I entrust, helpless, no power, only do’a great as a medicine, * his inner self.