Dusk At the End Please

Insecure

Akhtar drove his car slowly towards Garut City. Ghifar had been calling him since thirty minutes ago asking for his current position. The atmosphere of the crowded streets makes Akhtar can not increase the speed of driving.

"The children of the orphanage are on their way to the furniture, have you contacted Ghifar?" Ms. Fatimah opened her voice as the car had already driven about five hundred meters leaving the mother's rice stall.

Akhtar's gaze straight ahead was full of concentration staring at the road through. But in fact he was losing focus, his mind drifting somewhere.

Feeling unanswered made Ms. Fatimah who was enjoying the trip look at the side window suddenly averted her eyes, looking at the son from the side who was cool with her own world.

"If you can't concentrate better pull over first" Fatimah grabbed Akhtar's left arm that was clutching the steering wheel. This made Akhtar jumped, he slowed down the speed of his vehicle looking at the mother who had no idea what to say.

"Yes ma'am, what's wrong?" asked Akhtar with his confused face.

"What are you thinking? be careful lo, you again bring the car, son" advised Ms. Fatimah, she turned on the music to accompany Akhtar while driving.

"I don't think about anything ko Bu" elak Akhtar.

"I don't think about anything how the mother from earlier was not answered" said Bu Fatimah, making Akhtar bumbling himself made.

***

"Congratulations on his culinary business. Mom says the cooking at your rice stall is second to none" Akhtar re-opened the conversation as they were away from the others. Ibu Fatimah is busy pointing to various dishes that still exist as an addition to her order served directly by Indri, while Ceu Imas back and forth transporting catering orders to be put in a car arranged by Akhtar.

Shanum stopped his steps when he heard Akhtar speak, he who wanted to take the order back so snuffed because it was not nice if he had to dodge like before.

"Thank you, sir" said Shanum, who has now been able to control his situation after calming down behind the door for his sudden encounter with Akhtar.

"It seems that now the call is no longer valid. I am no longer the chairman of the foundation where you teach" explained Akhtar he spoke without turning his head, neatly arranging the rice boxes that had been received from Ceu Imas into his car.

"Sorry, hhe..." Shanum had already started to return to speaking in a normal tone.

"It's confusing, you're used to calling it that too, right?" Shanum tried to give an excuse.

"Ah no, last time we met in the tea garden you called me Aa. Can it be now?" shanum's thoughts drifted to the times he spent with Akhtar and afterwards he recalled the threat Raina posed to him. This made Shanum change his expression. He does not want the same incident to repeat itself especially considering that Akhtar and Raina are now officially husband and wife.

"Why? oh .. There are angry people. Sorry, I forgot that your husband would not like it if I asked you to call me that. Sorry." which." Akhtar raised his index and middle fingers to form the V shape.

Degs...Shanum must again feel his heart being sliced if someone is talking about her husband. But she calmed down a little Akhtar knowing that her husband was still around could at least avoid the jealousy of Raina who had now become Akhtar's wife, she thought.

"Your husband how are you?" Akhtar was again stale, he was really able to behave normally when dealing with Shanum, he said, it was not easy to endure the turmoil of the rumbling taste in the chest but with hard effort and strong determination Akhtar was able to control his heart. Successfully reconcile with his past and ready to open the door of friendship between himself and Shanum and his family.

"Well" Shanum replied briefly, she turned her face away as she replied that she did not want the look of sadness every time she remembered her late husband being seen by Akhtar.

"Liking is natural, which is unnatural it forces having" Akhtar muttered inaudible to Shanum. He stared fixedly at Shanum's face from behind the glass of the car as he entered the last box he received from Ceu Imas.

'There are some people who are destined for us to love, but are not destined for us to have' Shanum murmured inwardly. He was still standing waiting for Akhtar who was tidying up the rice box at the back of his car, making sure all orders were in order.

"Greet your husband, remember we are friends. You don't be awkward, okay" Akhtar again gave an affirmation if at this time they are just friends. He did not want Shanum to continue dodging when he met her.

Yes" Shanum nodded resignedly as Akhtar said that, not wanting to argue. Smiling retorted the smiling Akhtar looked at him as he said that. Let time determine everything, he will also try to limit himself in the friendship that Akhtar meant

The atmosphere became silent, both of them dissolved in each other's minds.

"Mother.." call the little boy with a distinctive voice stopped the reverie of the two of them. Shanum swiftly took Humairah from his cousin's sling and immediately carried her. The little girl looked at the person in front of her.

"Hello, pretty boy..What's his name?" tanya Akhtar returned to mince words. The presence of Humairah among them further makes Akhtar sure to bury deeply his feelings for Shanum.

"Hmairoh" replied Humairah with a voice that was not clear typical of a child smiling kindly greeting him.

All the scenes are now again clearly displayed in his memory. There was relief when he was able to go back to meet Shanum and chat a lot with him. A smile was on his firm lips signifies that today his heart condition is fine.

"Where has Ghifar been contacted?" Ms. Fatimah disperse Akhtar's daydreams about the scene of her friendship with Shanum just a moment ago.

"Already Mom, already. Ghifar has prepared everything and will welcome their arrival" Akhtar replied visibly nervous. Ms. Fatimah was made to shake her head to see the son.

***

H-3 grand opening FDF (Future Design Furniture) Shanum received an invitation from a courier. Following the call Bu Fatimah who again ensured a large portion of catering orders that he had delivered to Indri but Indri forgot to return to convey the matter to Shanum because it was too cool with other topics in his discussion with Fatimah ma'am at that time, which was about the calm handsome who had made him unable to see her while looking at her. Ms. Fatimah requested that Shanum and Indri be willing to be directly involved in the event.

Shanum could not promise, given the short time it took while careful preparation was required to accept the offer. He will only work on it, needing a discussion with his mother as the main chef to accept this fantastic offer. A thousand servings with a special menu, plus appertizer and dessert in the same portion.

After a long discussion by thinking about various possibilities and alternative solutions the mother agreed to accept this offer but that means they have to close the stall because it prepares everything. Shanum was ready to rest. Enjoy the night, rest a tired body because of all day activities.

It had been twenty minutes he had broken his body, yet his eyes were still unwillingly closed. Shanum got out of his bed, opening the door that connected the room with the balcony. He sat alone on the balcony of his room on the second floor. The view of the rice fields at night with flickering signs in the distance makes the night atmosphere more beautiful. The sound of an unpretentious frog seems to be natural music that ushers people to the calmness of the night as the right time to rest.

But unlike Shanum, tonight he is very difficult to sleep. Shanum's mind wandered into a few days during his meeting with Akhtar. All the scenes of her conversation with Akhtar revolved back in her memory. Shanum took a deep breath and exhaled it violently. Akhtar behaved like nothing had happened between them, he even stressed if they were friends. Does that mean Akhtar has forgotten everything. Shanum realized he felt something was stuck in his heart, but he knew what it was.

"Why didn't he come with Raina?" Shanum continued to conjecture various possible reasons why Akhtar did not come with Raina. The shadow of past events that Raina had done to her made her shudder. I was horrified to remember all that.

"Astaghfirullahal'adzim" Lafal istighfar said from his speech, realizing that something was wrong with his mind. It is not appropriate to think of a man who has a family.

Shanum stepped up his legs, locked the door and returned to lay his body in bed. The expression do'a and hope were spoken softly from his lips, slowly he closed his eyes that already looked adorable.

***

In the morning, the king began to appear. Prepare to illuminate the universe, accompany all people on the move to live life according to their respective roles.

Agreed, today the stalls will start closing. Two days will be maximized by Shanum and the team for preparation. Shanum has made a list of needs that must be prepared for this first major project. Today all will work according to the division of their respective duties. Shanum has contacted several vendors of food supply provider subscription, they are willing to send orders up to home so as to save time to shop. All super premium quality materials are ordered by Shanum. A thousand servings with a special menu are prepared for the grand event.

Indri was in charge of shopping accompanied by Ceu Imas and escorted by Mang Ujang, one of Pak Imran's sister-in-law who managed rice mill with him helped. Using an open-top car they went to the market. Mother accompanied by bi isah preparing spices that some are already at home. Mr. Imran was no less busy, after the dawn prayer and teaching at the mosque near his house he immediately checked the availability of rice in the factory and will be taken directly to the house.

While Shanum while accompanying Humairah play is giving a briefing to ten new workers who will help in the service during the event. They're not other people, though, the impromptu workers are Shanum's cousins who have previously been involved in several small-scale catering projects so that today Shanum only remains to provide reinforcement so that the services provided make guests satisfied.

Time shows it's ten o'clock. Shanum stopped his activity when he heard the greeting heard from the front door. He asked his cousins to rest and help the mother in the back. One of his cousins brought Humairah because Shanum had a guest.

Shanum opened the door and he was surprised because the person who was visiting was Liani, his best friend who had been out of touch for several months.

Liani could not hide her happiness, she screeched happily calling Shanum's name and scurrying around to hug him. Their habit of expressing happiness is to embrace each other and jump. They did not realize that there were currently two handsome men who were smiling looking at the euphoria of the meeting they were celebrating.

Shanum was stunned when he found that behind Liani there were two men who had always kept the image in front of the two men. So did Liani, her image as a meek teacher seemed to disappear in an instant. He forgot that he had come with the two men.

Shanum slowly unraveled his embrace, the look on his face immediately stiffened as he saw the two of them standing with a paper bag in his hand each gasping to witness his attraction with Liani just now.

"Why didn't you tell me you came with them?" shanum whispered in Liani's ear.

"Sorry, I forgot. My mind is too focused on you. In the car only my chest is tight can not be heard because of the car with them" replied Liani who also whispered but can be heard by Ahsan and Akhtar. And the two of them just smiled at the two women whispering.

"I did not expect yes, it turns out that the weakest teacher in the original Bina Insani High School is like this" Ahsan broke the silence that occurred for a moment. He flicked his lips mocking Liani and Shanum.

"Assalamu'alaikum" Akhtar broke the tension by saying a greeting while chuckling. He could not hide his laughter seeing the absurd behavior of the two of them. The wide gambis and veils that almost cover their entire body do not necessarily prevent them from expressing themselves with free movement.

"Wa'alaikumsalam" replied Shanum and Liani who could only grin the horse given their absurdity before the two men.

Shanum let everyone in, he prepared drinks and food to be enjoyed by his special guests. The noise they caused attracted the attention of the people who were working in Shanum's stall. Shanum also told Liani's arrival to his mother and father, they were happy to be reunited with Liani, his daughter's best friend, especially the mother who shed tears when she met Liani again.

A warm conversation between them happened. Various current topics are discussed, including the preparation of grand opening furniture Akhtar. The two newly reunited companions dominated the chat. Since their original behavior was caught, there is no more jaim-jaim-jaim (jaim\=jaga image). Shanum and Liani appeared to be themselves, no matter Akhtar and Ahsan who repeatedly frowned at the original behavior of the two of them while together.

The calm and serious yet casual innate look that the two women before them looked like a huge mistake after seeing the reality today. However, in his heart Akhtar was very happy to see Shanum today, performing as he was and being himself. Honestly, his heart whispered if he preferred Shanum who was today. But a second later Ahsan's question made him come back to be privileged in his heart.

"Ermmm, Num ....Haqi isn't here?" Ahsan tried to get into the chatter of two friends who had ignored him since.

Deg, Akhtar's question stopped Shanum and Liani's conversation. Shanum's countenance changed instantly, nervousness very noticeable on his face. Even Liani who forgot that Shanum was married felt reminded.

"Oh yes I forgot that you already have a husband, where is your husband Num?" liani affirmed Ahsan's question.

Shanum was silent for a moment, he was confused not being ready to answer what. The three people before him seemed to be waiting, what answer Shanum would give.

"Still in Jakarta?" Ahsan continued his question, he grabbed the bean jar that was on Liani's lap casually waiting for Shanum's reply while eating the beans.

"Yes" Shanum replied briefly, he turned his face away as he answered Ahsan's question. Doesn't want the change in his face to be seen by others. Ahsan and the cool Liani were enjoying the beans from the jar Ahsan brought out of focus with Shanum's reply. The two of them did not notice any change in Shanum's countenance.

In contrast to Akhtar, he who from the beginning of their conversation always stole a glance at Shanum saw clearly the change in look on the face. Akhtar caught something that Shanum seemed to be hiding, but he did not want to interfere too much with Shanum's domestic life.

The four of them were together because Akhtar and Ahsan had to perform Friday prayers. Together with Mr Imran they both went to the mosque to perform Friday prayers.

Shanum and Liani stayed in the living room.

"It seems you are closer to Brother Ahsan, is there something huh?" Shanum asked by raising his eyebrows made Liani blush embarrassed because she was discovered by Shanum if she was closer to Ahsan.

"Cie..cie.."tippal Shanum teased Liani more and more when he saw her face blushing.

"You really, we've been closer these few months. Since the scandal about Raina was revealed and followed by the revelation of the secret of Suraya Kak Ahsan asking to break up and leave Suraya. From that moment on he often confided in me" Liani explained to Shanum shyly.

Shanum digested Liani's explanation, only to find out that Ahsan and Suraya did not get married and had been separated for a long time. But not only that made her curious, Liani's words about the Rainalah scandal made her even more curious.

"I don't understand what you mean about Raina's scandal and Suraya's secret, Li" Shanum finally revealed.

"You don't know if Raina turned out to have a lover abroad and their association was not healthy"

Liani also told me in detail about the dismantling of the Raina scandal that caused Akhtar to crash right on their wedding day until they were in a coma for months and had to seek treatment abroad. Likewise, the end of the story of Ahsan and Suraya who both ended tragically after the secret of Suraya with her lover was revealed to the public. Not only that, though, Liani also told how Ahsan was depressed and was forced to agree to get engaged to Suraya because her father was entangled in a heavy case and it turned out that it was all the mischief of Suraya's father at his daughter's request that Ahsan be willing to get engaged.

Shanum fell silent, his tongue as if he was unable to say anything. His clenched hands held something rumbling in his chest upon hearing all of Liani's stories.

"So Akhtar?.." Shanum's question hangs. He grabbed a glass on the table and drank the contents out.

"So they didn't get married, Num. Ahsan also deeply regrets the delay in the information Akhtar received about Raina. If he knew before you got married, maybe you're married now Num. Brother Ahsan said he loved Mr Akhtar very much, he was more than a cousin to Kak Ahsan. He really wants Mr. Akhtar to be happy with the woman he loves, and that is you. But it's a pity that you've become someone's wife, Num" Liani explained at length everything she heard from Ahsan. Not a single one was left unturned, everything he told Shanum.

Shanum was just glued, silent a thousand languages. Drowning in his own mind.

"If you know how I am right now, Li. It makes me more insecure. And the highest level of insecure is to feel unbecoming for anyone. That's how I feel right now" Shanum spoke to himself in his heart.