Dusk At the End Please
Life Must Go On
New morning approaching. Reality of life is back to say hello. Routines and life dynamics are back in pursuit asking to be completed immediately.
Four months and ten days...
Today is the day Shanum has finished his iddah. The period of iddah is a certain period of time that must be counted by a woman since she separated from her husband. Both the separation was due to talaq and because her husband died, and during that time the woman was not allowed to marry another man.
Women who are married because her husband died stipulation that the term of his iddah is four months and ten days, with a record of not being pregnant, either never related or not.
Shanum stared at the reflection of himself in front of the mirror. During the iddah period he never left the house. The activity is only a home environment. The kitchen and garden became Shanum's favorite place to spend his time.
It is not easy for Shanum to live out his days during this iddah period. Every night she had to fight against the turmoil in her chest when the walls of the room seemed to be a cinema that played the film together with her late husband.
For six nights they slept together in that room and during that time every night before bed they passed by reading books together and laughing together because Haqi always teased him with his gritty hands as Shanum read her husband's favorite book, it ended with kisses and warm hugs until their eyes fell asleep.
"Abang was the first man to touch these lips" Shanum murmured as he applied lip gloss to his lips.
During the iddah period she never once wore the beauty tools that Haqi used to carry at their wedding. Only today did he again touch the powder and sweep it thinly to his face ending with a lip gloss to his lips to disguise his pale face.
"For fifteen days I held the status of a wife. Wife of Baihaqi Abdillah. But today my status has changed I am a widow..." Shanum sighed pausing his words. He was still talking to himself in front of the mirror.
"I am a widow but still a virgin" she continued.
Her eyes suddenly dewy as the recording of her husband's last words reverberated in her ears.
'I want you to get ready for tonight'
Shanum recalled her late husband, and in such moments only the chanting of dhikr and do'a was able to offer for the husband as a remedy for his longing.
Shanum came out of his room, he climbed the stairs one by one. Below, the mother-in-law and sister-in-law are ready. The plan is today they will go visit Haqi's tomb.
The wind cooled those who were currently sitting around a tomb of a loved one.
Shanum prayed fervently, as did his mother-in-law and sister-in-law. They were dissolved in the khusu'an do'a which they propounded for the late Haqi.
It has come the moment you left us
For the destiny of the Supreme One
Have determined
It is sad to hear this heart when considering
You're my best friend you're a true friend
Sincerely your sincere sublime cultivation
Like no substitute
Your smile also says
Comfort us
Our beautiful memories together
Keep on being
You're my best friend you're a true friend
It's destined you go first
When you are still needed
God loves you more
Peeled above the will of the One
Oh, my God, the place
In a noble place
The place you promised favors to Your servant
My best friend will continue this fight
Even though I know you're not on the side
Our struggle is still a thousand miles away
While the spirit is still in the living body
This heartache is about you
Like you were with us last night
Be safe and happy
You are there
Moga over there you're with the solihins
You're my best friend you're a true friend
Has arrived when time
You left us
For the destiny of the Supreme One
Have determined
It is sad to feel this heart
When to remember
You're my best friend you're a true friend
Hijjaz Song
You're Your Friend's Friend
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriter: Munif Ahmad
Lyrics You Friend You Friend © Universal Music Sdn. Bhd
Shanum tried to hold back so his tears wouldn't fall.
"Abang, your presence is one of the wonderful things that come into my life. You are present to be the medicine of my every wound. You are present as a light in the dark path I am on until I rediscover the right direction and I am very grateful for that'
"Abang, you're not the first one that's ever been present in my heart, but from you I've learned a lot. That those present will go, those blooming will wither, those falling will rise and those near will be spaced"
"Everything has its time, man is just waiting for his turn. And I realized it was all a process to mature. I will not blame anyone, for I know that as far as I am concerned in this world, there is no most beautiful possibility of what the Khaliq has destined"
"Abang, with you I realize that destiny can turn that which is not love into love, but love cannot turn that which is not destiny into destiny. Thank you for fifteen precious days of my life. Only do'a can I say, I hope you're happy there"
"Abang, I miss ...."
Shanum continued to speak in his heart, occasionally wiping away the unbearable tears flowing down his cheeks.
Ms. Ratna and Hasna who saw Shanum were so very lost feeling pity. They feel the same. No matter how hard, any loss will always leave sorrow.
Finished doing Shanum, mother-in-law and her sister left the tomb, their steps were so shaky. Sometimes Shanum looked back where her husband was resting quietly. There is a longing that still makes him feel tight, because it turns out that the sickest miss is to miss people who have passed away.
"Mommy, Dek..ada who want to convey" finished enjoying dinner, Dew, since Shanum's presence it has become a habit in the family to spend time together in the living room before returning to their respective rooms to rest.
Like tonight Shanum with his mother-in-law and sister-in-law are gathering in the living room which is always used as a gathering place for all family members when they relax while watching television. The four of them used to talk to each other about what they had passed one day, and after Haqi they continued to do the habit.
A few days after her return from the grave of her late husband Shanum thought a lot about the next steps she should take.
"Mami, we have decided to return to Bogor" Shanum said with caution as he said.
Shanum decides to return to Bogor, he will continue his routine there as before. And after a long discussion between her and her sister-in-law and mother-in-law, they finally allowed Shanum to return to Bogor on the condition that she would have to visit them often.
Shanum remembered the trust given by her late husband to take care of his loved ones, he would do as he could. He thinks of them as his family. Shanum promised to always visit them.
Shanum returned to Bogor to be picked up by his sister. Fauzan asked Hasna to come to Jakarta by public transportation so that later he could return to Bogor using a car that his late brother had prepared for his wife.
Shanum has repeatedly refused because she felt bad about accepting all the gifts of her late husband. But her mother-in-law and sister-in-law continued to plead strongly for Shanum to accept everything that had been his right because it had become the trust of the deceased.
In the afternoon Shanum and Fauzan bid farewell to return to Bogor. Warm hugs and tears became the end of their togetherness, the wave of the hands of her sister-in-law and mother-in-law accompanied Shanum's departure back to Bogor.
"Dek, we stop first in the rest area yes, pray ashar first while resting" Shanum told his sister after a long time they traveled.
"Yes, Tea" replied Fauzan without turning his head, he focused on the road driving the car.
After praying and resting for a while while enjoying the food and drinks that Shanum had ordered in the canteen in the rest area, they again prepared to continue the journey. Both of them now look fresh and ready to continue the journey.
As he was about to open the car door, Shanum suddenly heard someone calling his name.
"Shanon.....Shanum.." call the guy.
Shanum did not open the car door, he looked to the right and left looking for the source of the voice of the person who called his name.
"Sir, did someone call you teteh?" shanum asked Fauzan, making sure he didn't hear wrong.
"Yes Tea, noah" Fauzan replied as he pointed towards Shanum's back with his chin.
Shanum turned his body.
"Assalamu'alaikum" said the man
"Wa'alaikumsalam" Shanum replied nervously when he saw who the person had called him.
