Dusk At the End Please
The most beautiful memories
The training activity ended with a photo together and a mushafahah. All the participants have checked out Shanum is ready to go home. He decided to come home with his fellow participants from Bandung who brought his personal vehicle. Ahsan offered to pick her up but Shanum refused.
"Sorry Mom, it's a hassle" Shanum told a friend who invited her home together.
"No, ma'am, I'm happy to be a friend" he replied sincerely.
Shanum sent a message to Ahsan at his request for Shanum to speak during his return. I don't know what that guy's gonna do.
*Sir, training activities are over. Now I just got back to Bandung*
After sending a message he again kept the device in his sling bag. He enjoyed the Jakarta-Bandung trip that afternoon. They fill the journey with more intimate chatting.
Shanum arrived in Bandung at about half-four in the afternoon. The journey of approximately two and a half hours is quite exhausting. Moreover, the last day of training filled with postest activities is quite draining of his mind and energy after a night of preparing to deal with it.
Shanum got off his friend's vehicle right in front of the main gate of the Bina Insani foundation complex. He said a lot and thanked his friend.
Shanum opened a message from Ahsan, saying he was already waiting for her. Sure enough, the man was already standing gallantly in front of the gate welcoming Shanum's arrival. Ahsan gave a big smile welcoming Shanum's arrival who kept coming towards him.
"Assalamu'alaikum", Ahsan said first greeting, it seems like the longing has really peaked in his heart.
"Wa'alaikusalam", Shanum smiled in response.
As he had done before, Ahsan greeted Shanum at the gate of the foundation and brought his carry-on bag to the official house. Although Shanum had already banned it, Ahsan did not care about it.
"How are you?" ahsan asked as they walked along.
"Thank God be kind, brother", Shanum replied briefly.
They walked together towards Shanum's official house, their journey filled with small talk. Ahsan who asked more in fact, about what activities Shanum did during the training, while Shanum only answered what Ahsan asked.
All Ahsan and Shanum's interactions did not escape the gaze of a man's pair of eyes that looked filled with sadness. His mind glared back at his conversation with Ahsan just a moment ago at the caffe.
"Ja..di... mak.. sud.. ka..mu.. wa... nita yes...ng se....during this ka...mu to..jar cin...is that Sha...num?" akhtar asked stammered as he said the question to Ahsan as if something made his breath choked.
He thought all this time the closeness of Ahsan and Shanum was only a coworker. Ahsan's humorous carrying, always slipping jokes in every chatter, made Akhtar not too trusting when Ahsan had introduced Shanum as his future wife. Moreover, seeing Shanum's response at that time that seemed ordinary, even his expression showed less like what Ahsan did. Akhtar also considered it just a guyonan, which Akhtar knew all along his best friend and cousin was waiting for someone.
"So the woman with the initials S you mean while singing on stage is Shanum?" tanya Akhtar was smoother than before. There was a pain in his chest when he asked that.
"Yes, I still didn't dare to say his name directly because Shanum hasn't given the green light. But now our relationship is one step ahead. I want to see his parents to propose to Shanum officially",
"The plan is, I'll pass on my plan to Dad after your engagement is over. Mama and Papaku will come to Bandung during the application event or maybe they go directly to Bogor. Mama said they are currently in Surabaya and Papa is busy because he was promoted to rise to office. I don't want to delay any longer. You know that even my age is no longer fair to say young, it is time to have children hahaha.." Ahsan replied steadily while ending it with a laugh.
Akhtar just gawked at Ahsan's words, he didn't expect his fate to be so complicated. The woman who had been in his heart was the same woman that his cousin had been waiting for. Worse yet all this time he made his cousin a place of sighing, spilling all the feelings that were in his heart and mind about the woman. It was only his fault that he did not tell his cousin who the woman who became his idol all this time. He also did not think that his cousin turned out to have changed heart. The S-initial woman that Akhtar thought was a woman who had been in love with Ahsan since High School.
"What about Suraya?" Akhtar was curious about his cousin's love story, why he could easily turn his heart to Shanum. Which Akhtar knows since Ahsan High School has been very nice to her lover.
"Isshhhh....." Ahsan hissed hearing the name of the female called Akhtar.
"Since five years ago he'd rather go and leave me, since then I don't want to remember him anymore, I don't expect him to. She would rather pursue her ambitions than be engaged to me. I don't even care how he's lived his life all this time", Ahsan said firmly, there was disappointment and anger clearly visible on his face.
The events that made him fall back. The woman he had loved for years went off heartily and guiltlessly the day before their engagement. Ahsan took her breath in.
"But I am grateful, thanks to him for leaving me God brought Shanum into my life. If he hadn't left in the past I probably wouldn't have found a woman as good and special as Shanum."
Ahsan seemed reluctant to mention the name of the woman. He really wanted to erase the memory of her.
Ahsan loved that woman very much. Whatever Suraya wants, Ahsan always fulfills, Ahsan is very indulgent. She was the first woman to take Ahsan's heart. With Suraya Ahsan know the beauty of love even though finally his happiness must be crushed because of the selfishness of Suraya.
Akhtar breathed out. The new facts he knew were indeed making his heart in a dilemma. Between families, want to fight for Shanum and see his best friend and cousin is happy.
Akhtar turned his body walking in another direction, as he saw Shanum and Ahsan getting further away. Rooptop is the best place. As usual, Akhtar settled himself in a wooden chair that had always been his most comfortable place on his own. He closed his eyes rolling back his memories and hopes with Shanum. A song accompanies her solitude on that rooptop.
**....
I am weak without you
I am vulnerable because
The love that is missing from you
Who can flatter me
As long as the eyes are open
Until the heart doesn't beat
For as long as I can remember you
From you (from you), I found my life
To me (to me), you are true love
(For me, you are true love)
When it is written to me
Is the best for you
'I'm making you a memory
The most beautiful thing in my life
But it won't be easy for me
Leaving traces of your life
Which is immortal engraved
As a beautiful memory
Oo-hoo, oo-hoo
Oo-hoo
When it is written to me
Is the best for you
'I'm making you a memory
The most beautiful thing in my life
But it won't be easy for me
Leaving traces of your life
Which is immortal engraved
As a beautiful memory
'The Most Beautiful Memories (Samson)
Akhtar opened his eyes, his gaze blankly staring at the ever-increasing sky.
'Maybe it's time, I have to be willing to let you go with the right person and you are the most beautiful memory of my life.' inwardly.
**
They've reached Shanum's official house. Tomorrow is the first day of school. It looks like the official houses that were two weeks behind the deserted are now starting to crowded again because the residents have begun to arrive. They returned after spending the semester holidays with their beloved families in their respective hometowns.
Shanum stood on the porch, asking Ahsan to keep his carry-on bag on the small table on the porch of his dinas house.
"Thank you, Brother. I'm very flattered, hhee..," Shanum thanked Ahsan for all his treatment and ended it with a ruckus.
"How many times do I have to say that I don't want to hear you say that phrase again?" reply Ahsan in a slightly annoyed tone because Shanum is again positioning himself like everyone else.
"Since then, now and in the future I want to always be there for you to reduce all the burden on your shoulders" Ahsan replied deeply.
Shanum just smiled shyly even though Ahsan's treatment was excessive for him but he was happy to accept it. She felt she had to be a lot grateful to meet the good man before her
"I have some good news for you", Ahsan started the conversation.
"What?" ask Shanum.
"Pak Furqon asked for yesterday's committee not to be dissolved." Ahsan paused his words.
"Why?" shanum Sela.
"He asked the team yesterday to return to take care of the engagement of his son, Akhtar the chairman of our foundation" Ahsan explained.
Shanum's heart suddenly beat very fast as if something had just hit him. He could not imagine how he was able to witness again the man who was still enthroned in his heart officially with other women. She is not a hypocrite, it is not easy for her to erase all her feelings for Akhtar. At a time like this, it felt like he had disappeared into another world.
Although he had dedicated his time and love for the man in a short period of time, it was not easy to forget it, just like that, even though he knew that he was just a ridge who missed the moon.
"All right, I say yes. Now that you rest, tomorrow we will face Pa Furqon together. Assalamu'alaikum", Ahsan said goodbye after making sure Shanum arrived safely. Before actually leaving Ahsan turned his head back, "I miss you" he said with a warm smile.
Shanum just smiled and nodded his head releasing Ahsan's departure. He was still not focused on what was before him. His mind is still floating hearing the news he must be a committee at the engagement of his former lover.
'Eventually, I will really lose you. Loss that is not just about what no longer exists, but about what is but no longer felt, heard but not understood. Present, but no longer meaningful, thank you for stopping by my life and giving me good memories and valuable lessons', Shanum whispered in his heart.
