DUDA IMPOTENT DESIRE

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Alda Pov

At 10:00 pm the body of Holy Mother finally reached home.there the arrival of the body of Holy Mother was welcomed by the large family of Mr. Arman, eehh. In the house was also seen my mother and my aunt and other brothers but I did not see the presence of roses in that place as well as Akram.

When the administrative completion process and the process of removing the body from the hospital will be taken to the house of Mr. Arman, I first contacted Mother to inform her that, that, I've married Mr. Arman in the hospital. That certainly makes Mom very surprised to get news from me. But, the mother seemed to quickly control herself from her shock. Because even before, Mr. Armand has proposed to me to my mother.

The plan is that the body of the Holy Mother will be buried at around 10 am tomorrow, which I heard when the big families of Abang Arman and the Holy Mother discussed, the new me could only shut up and listen to what they had planned.

I read the holy Quran in front of the body of the holy Mother. Tears just keep flowing down the river. I can't help myself anymore, for the fate I've accepted. I really did not expect, My destiny would be like this, I was forced to marry the man who was my superior, before, and I didn't expect to get married in the hospital in front of the first wife of the man who married me.

In the deepest recesses of my heart, I was confused. Why did Holy Mother ask me to marry Mr. Arman? and I'm also confused by the words of the holy mother who said Mr. Arman has loved me for a long time. Where does the story tell Mr Arman loves me? we only knew him when he transferred jobs and became the principal of the school where I taught.

Before I did not know him, although Dad had told me that he had helped Mr. Arman's family while in the woods, even I knew the story when Arman helped father's treatment while hospitalized.

I feel uncomfortable with the gaze of the big family, Mr. Arman and the Holy Mother, who look at me full of investigation. Maybe they just found out at this time, if me and Mr. Armand just got married in the hospital. The news was certainly shocking. And it will cause many arguments and judgments from both sides of the big family, Mr. Armand and the Holy Mother, about the sudden marriage.

Huua......

Hua....

A middle-aged woman, with a swarovski-studded jetblack robe, walked sadly toward the corpse of the Holy Mother. The woman looks very lost.

As he lowered his body. The body of the Holy Mother, has been swarmed by the immediate families of the Holy Mother, from foot to head, and currently, at this time, I was in the chest of the Holy Mother and next to me sat Mr. Armand reciting a suroh yasin who stared sadly at his wife's pale face.

"Awas Moving.. Move you first..!" The mother rejected my thighs that were cross-legged in front of the body of the Holy Mother.

Mr. Armand glanced at the mother of the mother I did not know at a glance and then resumed her teaching event.

"Oohh.. Yes mom, sorry...!" I put my body back in shame. Because now I'm the spotlight of the people in that place.

"Yes, queue. Why did you sit here for so long. Who're you?" said the woman with a whim. Mother looks very sad.

I don't touch that mother's words anymore. I dragged my feet towards the group of my mother, aunt and extended family that came to this house.

"Patience...!" Said Mother, grabbing my body in her arms.

For some reason the attitude of the middle-aged woman, made me feel very pain, very sad and ashamed. I want to cry hysterically in this place. Or just get out of this place. I'm not ready for this wedding. I don't know why I don't feel ready.

"LT....!" I said with a little loud voice in my cry.

"Yes, don't cry..!" whispered mother softly to me.

"Mom, my mom, I can't handle it." My words are still sobbing in mom's arms.

That middle-aged woman's attitude scared me. Afraid of building a housewife with Mas Armand. I don't want to feel pain and suffering anymore. Honestly, I am not ready to get married, let alone get married suddenly like this.

If everyone had welcomed my presence in this house. That's a big spirit for me. But, if I'm ostracized, I can't.

"Don't cry, look at you and be seen by people."

Mother's words made me more confused and confused. Negative assumptions popping up in my head. I thought about my life after being Armand's wife. Of course it's not easy. I wasn't ready for all the challenges. Mr. Armand from a rich family, I'm a poor man. Anyway I still want to be alone. I'm not ready to face the problems that will arise with this marriage.

I'm taking mom's hug. I wipe my tears with my fingers. I got up quickly, I couldn't afford to be in this house.

"Alda's... Where are you going?"

Mom said a little loudly calling me. I panicked, not heeding my mother's call rushed out of the house

"Alda.." and this time Mr. Arman's mother called my name .I don't want to be in that house anymore. I accelerated my steps until now I was in the yard. Looking for a little quiet place, I was thinking. What steps will I take. I was embarrassed in that house. My existence in that place, will be a conversation.

Without realizing it, I was in the garden next to my house. Right now, this place is deserted.

Huuff...

I took a deep breath and I exhaled softly, That I did over and over again, I need to win my chest that is pounding strongly at the moment. I'm still in shock I'm still scared, so scared to face this. That unfriendly attitude of middle-aged mother really made me go down. I, I don't want to be bullied anymore, I don't want any more fights. That's why I don't want to marry again, because I don't want to argue, I can't face the problems that I will experience later in my marriage with Mr. Armand.

The events that I experienced, when I was wife Evan was still very much in my Heart. I do not want to feel his name heartbroken, heartbroken, mousuhin mother-in-law, hostile brothers. Because of my mother-in-law's evil attitude, Evan's mother is still stored in this heart, the pain I can't forget.

Hhufftts

back I sighed deeply and exhaled slowly this hand continued to stroke the thumping chest that was rumbling violently, with a mind that continued to be chaotic. After a slight calm, my eyes were drawn to a Gazebo in front of me. My feet rushed to get there. I want to sit there and calm down and think about what to do tonight. I don't want to be in this house, I can't. My mentality has not been strong to face the people in there, must be currently very many questions in their minds with my presence in the house. Because only the extended family of Mr. Arman knows this marriage while the family of the Holy Mother, do not know.

Aaauuww...

I was very surprised when I felt my hand being ambushed, and my body being pulled strong. Until this body turned around and crashed into a hard body. From the fragrance I end, I know the owner of the body I hit.

I lifted my head to know more clearly. Whether the person who caught me is my husband or not. It could be the same perfume. And it's true.

"You Why run away. Mommy's been looking for you?" she said softly, I quickly threw away my sight. I couldn't look into her red eyes because I was sad.

"Me, I don't want to be here. I want to go home "I answered quickly, I said I threw his hand around my wrist. And get away from her about two steps.

Mr. Armand precedes me. Standing before me with a confused look. He grabbed both my shoulders. "What are you talking about?" he panicked.

"Sir I want to go home. I'm not ready to be your wife." My answer moved both my shoulders. I'm not ready. "Before the big family knows, you should divorce me. I'm going home now "

I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Right now, that's what I want. I don't think my mentality is ready to face the problems that will arise when I become Mr. Arman's wife.

Mana Mr. Judge Rayhan has also expressed his love for me. I think this place, it's not safe for the sustainability of my life. Instead of marrying Mr. Armand, mending marriage with Akram. There won't be any distractions I get from a big family.

"Don't bother you Alda." said Mr. Arman firmly and frantically.

"I don't know, sir. I'm not ready to get married, I don't want to get married yet and your wife just died, and you're married again. What people say about us later. I don't want to sir, I don't want to hear people's babbling. I have not been able to, my heart has not healed from the pain, which I experienced over my previous marriage. I need a break, sir. My mind is not healed yet, I need to maintain sanity first."

I said with tears.My body also shook violently, for fear of the sharp gaze of Mr. Armand to me. I know he's upset with me.

" I want to go home, our marriage is canceled." I said with a flickering hand and turned around. I move my feet fast to run. But strangely I felt my feet floating in the air. It turned out that Mr. Arman was looking at my body by lifting my body from behind.

"Print...!" I muttered, shaking my body strong to escape from the clutches of Mr. Armand.

"Alda's.... " Steel in my ears. "Alda..." Deuteronomy again, his soft voice made my romp bristles. "I understand, I'm very aware of your position. All right, if that's what you want. After my wife's buried, let's talk about this again, shall we?" he said still with a voice full of tenderness, only this time I saw there was an emotional man, but could speak softly.

"Take off....!" I'm still trying to make a fight. Mr. Armand dropped me off. But, he quickly turned my body, so that now we face the front.

"Don't take heart Mother's words earlier. It's aunty, the guy's like that." I can't look at Mr. Armand. My face is fast. "Come, you rest first." He pulled my hand, to follow his steps.

"Deliverge .. I can walk by myself." I shook my hand, trying to shake from her tight, firm grasp.

"So, you'll run away. Pleases.... Don't act just yet. We are mourning now." His words gently looked at me shahdu.

Are those eyes, sad and afraid of me leaving, or because Holy Mother died?

I had once thought about that. Until I realized, we were already in the elevator. I just found out that Mr. Armand's house has an elevator.

I don't show my face. Shame too, if you say tacky.

When you get out of the elevator. Three meters away, in front of us was a room. Mr. Armand is still holding my hand. He also opened the door to the room.

"You rest, don't go downstairs again." He said with a flat face, after I was in the room. Mr. Arman is still at the door.

"A, i..!"

Plakkc..

The door closed quickly, but I still wanted to talk.

Damn, just play close. I grabbed the door handle trying to open it, it turned out the door was closed from the outside.

Oh my goodness, I was locked up in this room. I feel like I'm in prison. Aaaahh... I shouted loudly, while lashing out at the door of the room firmly. I know there's no point in me screaming so loud because this room must be soundproof. I who was sad and feeling desperate, finally collapsed on the floor. My weak body rested on the door, I pulled my legs. I hugged my knees tightly, buried my face in my knees.

Tears immediately poured out. This heart still feels pain and does not accept what happens.

Satisfied lamenting fate while crying out loud in this soundproof room. I got up from my seat, my eyes were drawn to highlight every corner of this room.the room was so spacious wider than my house that I credit for 5 years. I wipe my tears with my fingers while thinking where did Mr Arman's wealth come from ? he's just the principal why he's got a house this good.

In this luxurious room there are still many photos of the family of Mr. Arman. Friendly photos of Mr. Arman and the Holy Mother are still perched on the wall of this room right in front of the bed in front of me at this time. Some of the photos are also on the nightstand and corner table.

I felt like I was being haunted by the Holy Mother in this room, especially when she was blessed with death. Imagining it makes my romance bristle. Suddenly I became parno. I felt like I was being watched over by his ghost.

My Lord... Protect me. I'm so scared in this room. Where I'm locked again. To take away my fear. I decided to pray and teach. I go into the bathroom, I'm going to ablaze.

TB