Demians

CHAPTER 2 - Galau

My hands were skillfully kneading the cake dough I used to do to fill the cake stock in the storefront. But, today I feel less enthusiastic in carrying out activities. Usually, busy yourself in the kitchen to make all kinds of cakes is a moodbooster for me. My mind was too focused on what happened at the mall yesterday.

The Flashback

“For?? It's Demi right?” call someone whose voice sounds familiar to my ears.

I saw someone calling my name, a man of about 175 cm tall, pure white skin, and narrow eyes that instantly reminded me of someone.

“De-van?” I hesitated to make sure that I didn't call him wrong.

“wah gilaa...gue was hesitant to call lo Dem, pangling because I just saw lo. How are you Dem? Didn't know I could meet you here” said Devan who did not expect to meet me while taking a seat next to Tisha, while the person sitting next to him is just indifferent without intervening with the existence of Devan.

“gue well, how are you? When to return to Indonesia?” I was a little surprised to see his presence. I don't know why I felt so uncomfortable when Devan tried to get me to talk. It felt like a sigh of excitement as he waited for something to come out of his mouth.

“gue is also good. A week ago I returned, because it was already done taking S2 in Japan. So I immediately came back here because the lecturer who recommended I have retired and he wants me to immediately teach at campus” explained Devan. “oiya mumpung I met lo here, and he wants me to immediately teach at campus<TAG1>, I want to know also if in 2 months I want married am Ines. Make an invitation to me to share aja yak in the spruce” group continued Devan. The spruce group is the name of our group during the lecture that contained my KKN team first. Yes, Devan was a friend of my KKN who finally made a match with Ines, my department friend.

I was surprised by what Devan said, “woahh...really?? Congrats my brother finally married also lo. I didn't know time passed so fast. Lo who passed S1 directly to Japan to take the master, and, trus suddenly returned to Indo directly married hahaha” I laughed considering Devan's story from college to find out that he will release his bachelor in a moment.

Devan laughs to hear my laughter, “hahahaha, yes.lagian I have been dating with Ines for a long time, I also have no more business so yes gas aja married” reply Devan.

“eh yes, I used to be able to ama Ines because lo nih, trus we started dating in the place of KKN we used to be, the plan is after the wedding I want to be a cypress gang as one of the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Ines did agree, so...lo want to be one of bridesmaid?” DUARR.hatiku sneered when he heard Devan's request. It was obvious what daritadi made me feel uncomfortable when I talked to him.

So bridesmaid with KKN friends? I'm sure I'll see him again. Four years have passed since our last meeting and I will meet him again at Devan's wedding. How'this? Have I managed to get rid of that feeling? What if my efforts to erase feelings during these 3 years were in vain because of our meeting later? Arghh.I want it to feel like I'm screaming right now.

“Dem...For?? How's Dem?? Want to be a bridesmaid?” Devan waved in front of my face while putting on a questioning look.

“eh..oh Yes Dev, sorry. Yes yes, I want to be a bridesmaid at your wedding” I curse myself in the heart when I agree to his request. Duh..why I immediately said yes anyway.bego bego bego, I complained in my heart.

“yesss...kalo lo agree, next Saturday we meet at the boutique Aunt Asna yes.all clothes related to my marriage are taken care of by Aunt Asna because” Aunt Asna is her mother Alfie, she is a mother of Alfie, my KKN friends besides Devan. Devan's eyes look happy because I agreed to his invitation.

“because you agreed, this brother I want to make sure Jihan. He would agree that there are lo. For Alfi and Bian, they agreed yesterday to be groomsmen. I'm waiting for gasabar next week. Surely it will be cool that we are in addition to fittings clothes, we will reunian KKN again after 4 years of not meeting since our last meeting on graduation. Anyway, I gamau tau lo Saturday must spend all day for the reunion KKN we” said Devan who looks excited about the agenda of our meeting.

We decided to stay friends even though KKN was over. Many of my old friends were surprised to see our closeness that often took the time to gather on the sidelines of the busy final task. Although our closeness only lasted for a year and we had to split up and had lost contact after graduation, it was finally time for us to regroup after being separated for 4 years.

“Saturday yes...okay deh I agendain activities for Saturday ahead” mutteredku while writing activities and circling the date on the calendar contained in the agenda book that I usually carry everywhere. I am a perfectionist, right? I always make a plan schedule every day to apply self-discipline. Daily schedule, monthly agenda, meal planning, financial organizing, even my workout tracking is neatly recorded in different agenda books according to their designation. For books containing daily schedules and monthly agendas I always take with me wherever I go.

“oke Dem, that's all I want to talk about. Fortunately, I met you directly so it was not difficult to contact him. If so I first yes.gue want nyusulin my sister upstairs. Bye Demi, see you on Saturday” said Devan was leaving my place. I just smiled as I waved my hand when I parted with him.

End Flashback

“Mbak Demi..mbaakk” call someone who makes me realize from my daydream.

“eh yes, what is it...what is the cake already so? If you have directly moved to aja” storefront, I said that reflexively answered a call from Luna, my assistant.

“mbak..gimana want to be the cake if the dough is still mbak uleni. Ma'am why the hell today why do I pay attention to daydreaming? I don't think that spirit makes the cake” asked Luna who was worried to see my condition today.

“eh what yes?” I gasped to see my hand still holding the raw dough. “astaghfirullah..ma-sorry deh Lun.ini mbak ask for help you continue to make it. Ma'am wants to go up first” without hearing Luna's answer, I immediately move the basin containing the dough in front of Luna, and hurried away to clean my hands.

Arriving at my room which was on the top floor of the shophouse, I immediately threw myself onto the sofa. I closed my eyes to calm my messed up thoughts due to my meeting with Devan yesterday. Suddenly, the door of my room opened and Luna went inside carrying a cup containing my favorite hot matcha latte.

“nih mbak, drink first, let relax” said Luna while thrusting the cup to me.

“thanks yes Lun” I replied when I received the cup, then drank it slowly. “adonan held who would it be?” ask after I finish drinking.

“already held ama aksa earlier. So...want to tell me? Ntar dipendem himself so fart even” my laughter broke hearing Luna's speech.

I told you about my meeting with Devan yesterday who asked me to be a bridesmaid until the reunion on Saturday. Luna who already knew about my past story just nodded her head trying to understand my feelings.

“Mbak Demi still have a good taste of her.fix no debat” Luna's response the first time after I finished telling her.

“gak lah..aku gamungkin still like ama him. I've been 3 years Lun” I tried to avoid Luna's statement, although I myself still doubt my words.

“mbak, I will already know Mbak Demi from the beginning of this cake shop stand. In the past we still fell awake developing this cake shop, there I also learned to understand the character of Mbak Demi. Fortunately, Mbak Demi also believed in the same me until Mbak Demi finally wanted to tell what used to be the motivation of Mbak Demi to work desperately without thinking about anything else” said Luna while walking towards the refrigerator to take mineral water, then he drank up to a quarter of a bottle before continuing his speech.

“maybe I still did not dare to give a deeper response about the story mbak, but for now if I can respond, actually what Mbak Demi lakain so far is just a temporary diversion. Mbak focused the same cake shop until like now in addition to realizing the dream mbak also for the transfer of mind mbak so as not to focus on him. Turn mbak felt that mbak had forgotten him and suddenly faced with the fact that mbak will meet him again, mbak immediately returned as before. The feeling of Mbak Demi to him is still the same mbak, mbak still like him and the feeling is getting bigger until now” I sigh long at the explanation of Luna who clearly understands my feelings at this time, I feel, it's just that I'm too proud to admit it and avoid that I've erased that feeling.

“trus mbak what should it be? Seriously tired if you have to keep gini. Mbak felt the effort was in vain so for 3 years this” complained that frustration did not find a way out of this problem.

“kalo this I gabisa reply mbak, who can find the answer yes Mbak Demi herself. If suppose Mbak Demi is still curious, yes Mbak Demi must find out for herself. How-how? Yes ask him directly when he meets later how he feels to mbak. If you are afraid, youdah mbak must give up the feeling of mbak, mbak must learn to forget it” Luna answer even more makes me not calm because I am busy fighting with myself.

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