Can't Have You
Chapter 21's
I am not an easy person to express my heart. I am a person who prefers to hide the problems I experience rather than having to tell others. Because I thought, whether or not someone knew about my problem had no effect. The only one who can solve my problems is myself.
Because sometimes with others know that there is even complicate the situation. Or even when I tried to pour out my heart to the closest people I could just scorn and mockery, I regretted sharing my story with them.
Since then, I've been someone very close. It is not easy to open my heart to others. Moreover, opening the heart to a new man, opening the heart to let others in just to allow him to hear my grievances I refused.
Maybe I'm still scared. Maybe I am still traumatized by being abandoned by my lover when I have trusted him with all my heart. Yes, believing that he was the right person I made a place to share my grievances. But, it’s totally wrong!
Instead of listening to the nagging guy. It's not that I stay by my side when I'm down, uh leave me for another woman. I know, the courtship is not a relationship that can be said to be definitely serious (it is definitely a match with him). It was my fault for being too hopeful. And it is my fault that maybe even too focused on the unclear person like him, instead I focus on surrendering to the God who created me.
***
Then, how do I live my days without anyone present by my side? Well, all this time I always pray to be strengthened in the face of all the trials of Him. Is not the trial in our lives a test for each of us?
Until one day, someone came into my life. I know him from social networks. But, out of nowhere, I felt like he was a good person and worthy of making friends. And most importantly, I feel comfortable with him.
Don't think I like to carelessly allow the stranger of socmed to be present in my life yes, of course I filter it well (from the way he takes pictures and speaks words, he said, isn't that the only way she can make sure she's a good person or not before we meet face to face?).
***
Maybe God sent him who lately was able to strengthen me when the family can not be relied on (especially about the things that I have been restless and can not say with my family). I don't know, with him I can freely express my heart, and he can always calm and strengthen me.
Of course, every problem I face must be spoken to the Creator first, but I also need to exchange ideas with someone who can really understand what I feel. Obviously, someone who never judges me or blames me with the words "You're mostly complaining!" or "You're not grateful!"
***
I am grateful to know him. At least, my life has gotten better thanks to her support. I don't know what God meant to bring him into my life. Is it just giving me a life lesson or is he the one God sent to accompany me to the end of my life? No one knows.
Obviously, I always pray to be given my best, whatever it is. Indeed, in hindsight, I couldn't possibly live with him. That's why, I'm ready if someday I have to take off a figure as good as him. But I also don't know what will happen in the future. Whatever it is that's going to happen, I'm sure, it's God's best-case scenario, for me and for him.
Thank you for your love that inspired me to be a better person. Ever since you came into my life everything you gave me meant a lot to me. Thank you for making me laugh every day.
Thank you for entrusting myself to accompany your journey. Thank you for taking over the responsibility of my parents. I wouldn't be a better person like this without you.
I wouldn't be a better person like this without you. I just wanted to say hello to you. The warm rays of the sun began to enter through the cracks of the curtains of my room window to make me wake up from my beautiful dream.
Time has hidden you
Until the universe didn't approve of me meeting
The day you said you were gonna wander
I'm really sorry I didn't find out
Somehow I delivered a miss
Because my body and your body are separated from space and time
Dusk arrives, your mirage is clearly visible on the horizon
I can't help but miss the one that's become opium
Until the point of my mountain shady
Until my days are filled with your shadow
I can't deny, you are my future
The future I always wait for
It's all right now I'm in a quiet grove that doesn't pass
Because my gratitude is always on
God has brought a cool air
The coolness that certainly comes from you
Thank you for being present in my life
Despite the paler bias, I am still capable
Able to withstand a complaint
That I want to meet
Thank you for coming to color the past
You turned the black cloud into blue shahdu
You have lost my shabby days
Until now, I'm still figuring it out
Why I can resist the longing
There is a ban on space and time
That we can't meet first
Blue, stay cool and calm
O longing, remain opium
O morning, raise it in the east horizon
And again, thank you for coming into my life
You are present with me
Every time you say
The word of love to me
But it's all temporary
When you've changed
Forget our promises
Will happen Which
I thought
My soul dissolved in sorrow
Now I'm leaving Huooo
Thank you I said
Because they are present in my life
Even for a moment
Moga you with him
It would be happier
That's enough for me to be happy
I'm trying to Forget EverythingThank you for saying
Because they are present in my life
Even for a moment
Thank you I said
Because they are present in my life
Even for a moment
Moga you with him
It would be happier
That's enough for me to be happy
I'll pray for you
I'll forget you
Make forever, make forever
****
Seriate...
