But not Me

Pawang Tuan Bagas

Bagas pensively himself in the garden behind the house while looking at the ruins of the pavilion building which is now starting to be rebuilt, cigarette smoke billowing from his mouth accompanied his solitude in the evening, he was used to being here if if if he wanted to enjoy a roll of tobacco that was rarely smoked after the presence of the baby, but tonight he could not calm down, his head continued to think it could not stop, he said, so after putting baby Kai to sleep he went down and pensive there with his cigarette, he deliberately chose that place, besides being an open place, it was also a bit far from his room, he said, the smoke won't bother her son.

Rethinking word for word the advice Dara gave her about the attitude she had to take in dealing with her problems it made in spending almost a pack of cigarettes while still. Really, he felt very confident that he had never had sex with the second wife who had been on his talisman, but what if that night she actually did that with Kamila out of her consciousness and the baby turned out to be her flesh and blood?

Ah, why does all this happen when he wants to change in a better direction, what is so difficult about being a good human being?

"Master,"

Panji's voice suddenly scattered all his reverie.

Bagas turned his head to his left where Panji was now standing right by his side.

"I have checked the cctv and also made sure correctly, if the last few months since his affair with the flocking people unfold, Mrs Kamila has never left the house, she said, everyday she spends time at home, almost all her needs are bought online, and the mistress also never contacts another man again after that," urai Panji reported what he had learned about Kamila on Bagas' orders.

"Does that mean you also want to say that the baby in her birth is my child?" Bagas looked in annoyance at the bowed Panji not daring to fight his master's gaze.

"It's all your fault, why did you take me to the main house that night when I was drunk?" The bagas back blamed his assistant who was careless to hand himself who was drunk heavily into the hands of a female wolf like Kamila who could at any time pounce on him.

"Every sir, I was wrong. I'm sorry!" panji replied, for her he would not take it too if she defended herself by saying that night she really wanted to deliver her master to the pavilion, but Kamila insisted on delivering her husband, who was not there, of course, the position of Panji at that time was wrong, because the one who asked him was the hostess and was the wife of his master, Panji did not know that Kamila had been on his talisman long ago.

"Just an apology and a false confession, can it change everything that's happening now? You've made sure to ask the doctor who examined her that she's really pregnant?" Bagas asked the results of the examination of the doctor he deliberately called home to examine Kamila, he did not want to believe just like the results of the examination conducted by Kamila.

"Already sir, the mistress is pregnant, her gestational age has stepped on one month."

"When did Kamila last hang out with those paid men?" Bagas like not wanting to accept reality.

"About four months ago sir!" answer the banner again with confidence.

Very tired it feels Bagas to hear Panji's answer, all the clues seem to lead to him and make himself the only suspect as the father of the baby in Kamila's stomach.

"Ah,, shit!" speaking of Bagas, he threw his cigarette butts on the ground and stepped on them with the end of his sandal full of emotion.

"What are your plans after this?" panji asked, there was a spotlight of pity that was delivered by the personal assistant through his eyes on his master, just now he was happy with the change in attitude of his master who became better and his life more orderly, more and more organized, but it turned out that everything did not last long, because the master now had to be faced again on a problem that is not simple.

"If I knew what to do, I wouldn't be this messed up, haven't solved the pavilion attack problem, there's even more complicated, new problems," bagas said as if he were lamenting his bad luck.

"Ah yes, the problem of the attackers, some of them turned out to be warehouse employees who were dishonorably stopped because they had embezzled hundreds of cartons of goods from the warehouse, he said, they also exchange expired items to outwit other warehouse employees so that the amount of goods in the warehouse still looks intact, but the effect is that many consumers complain that the goods we send some of them expire, the point is that according to the authorities, they do it all out of revenge, and do not accept being fired from work and feel embarrassed." Beber Panji reported, mumpung his master was discussing the problem of the attack.

"Okay, I was going to the police station to see them today, but this matter about Kamila I can't take for granted, because to be honest it really bothered my mind, I don't want to lose Dara anymore, I don't want to be separated from her anymore, especially now that there's a tiny baby between us, I really don't think this matter has any effect on my little family that I just built."

Bagas was used to being frank in everything with his assistant, Panji was like a 'trash bin' for him, where he took out all his junk, his anger, his regret, his happiness, everything.

"It looks like the only way is to just wait until the baby is born, and do a DNA test, I think the solution is just that."

"That means it's still more than 8 months I have to experience stress like this." complained Bagas throw his breath rough.

**

"Sir, Ms. Kamila is vomiting and does not want to eat, she asks the master to call you," said the female nurse who was deliberately hired by Bagas to take care of Kamila, who was in the hospital, one of them he wanted to avoid things like this, he did not want Kamila to make the reason for her pregnancy to make herself spoiled on him.

"Well what is your duty here, if such things are all you have to report to me and ask me to take care of them!" Bagas slammed the spoon he was using to eat his breakfast that morning at the dinner table until the sound caused by the slamming of his spoon on the floor made the atmosphere at the dining table tense.

"Mas" said Dara, placing his palm on the back of Bagas' arms.

Bagas back rubbed the back of Dara's hand gently, only the woman who was now her 'bride' could make her emotions go down and subside for a moment, with just a soft word and Dara's shady gaze, she said, Bagas can immediately lower the volume of his voice.

"Ah, I'm sorry, honey, this nurse is too stupid and makes me angry!" bagas.

"Mas, pregnant people are chaotic hormones, can be suddenly angry, suddenly sad, his desires are sometimes unreasonable, maybe what people often call cravings, he said, so you have to be patient with a lot of pregnant women." explained Dara.

But hearing that all the eyes Bagas actually even glazed, his hand outstretched squeezing Dara's hand that was still perched on the back of his left hand.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't there in those moments when you went through all that, were you really that tormented? What cravings did you have while you were pregnant with Kai?" tanya Bagas who had now shifted his seat facing Dara, ignored the nurse who was now on his back and melengos went back to Kamila's room because he did not want to disturb the chatter of his master that morning.

"Mas, I was, I was fine at that time, doctor Faisal took good care of me and his future nephew there, he was also willing to go around looking for a restaurant that sells Indonesian cuisine there all day, because I was craving hodgepodge that day." Dara told me, her eyes glazed to remember the days of her pregnancy at that time.

"Stop! I didn't like to hear it, I should have done it all," Bagas grunted in annoyance, his chest suddenly felt hot imagining Faisal taking care of Dara in her pregnancy, making her feel both envious and jealous .

"Surely there are things that still hold up in my mind, for what day did you go to the port, and get on the ship?" bagas said asking questions that he had not been able to ask and became a big question until now.

So happy to enjoy the happiness of being able to regroup with his wife, he forgot the question that actually made him very curious so far, because it is very unlikely if Dara came to the port without a purpose, especially until boarding the ship, until there is an incident splashed all.