AND

CHAPTER 16

I used to hug you from behind while enjoying the band performance, but now I don't. We used to jump around holding hands and singing the band's song, but now we don't.

"The thing that huddles

Ho, fragile feelings

It's not half that

Ordinary

You're okay"

The indie song at the concert yesterday, made me fragile today. Two days after the concert Sally decided on me because I had been honest about all of her. I don't want me to continue my relationship with Sally without my whole heart.

I don't know if I'd be ready to accept that today I'm nobody. I wanted to scream in the empty space in my head. In my baby he's there, always terrorizing.

Always restless at all times. Wake up without alarm. Even dreams I can't. Makes me feel like I'm not okay. Time isn't quite what I told you. You can laugh or cry at everything you want. But you're the one who stayed away.

Live alone after that decision. When someone leaves I try to be stronger. It's not easy, but I have to try. Rise Dev!! Rise up!!

No one knows what I feel. No one knows what I'm suffering from. How much I regret.

Maybe right now I'll try to get back what I have. All smiles and happiness are mine. There will be no more crying. There will be no more regrets. There will be no more betrayals. These are not all mine.

Every night I was no longer in my room. Every night I spend a lot of time at the bar. Looking for someone who can make me better. But I didn't find him. What I feel right now that can make me better is my own reflection, but do I have to look at it constantly.

I'm under pressure to trust myself. Because I always want to stay away. O happiness, if you find me somewhere, call me, take me away.

May it ease my suffering. I am the one who is beginning to waver, so hold me tight. Summer is coming to an end, the nights are colder. Remember last season when we drove around town wearing thick jackets because it was cold? Yeah I'm trying to forget it.

Feeling so low after my decision with Sally ended. I'm no longer with Sally, did you know it was Bil? If I'm honest I'll call you and tell you everything. But no, I let go. I hope you're happy, living with peace and happiness.

Time passed so quickly, I could forget Sally a little, but not with Bila. There's nothing I can forget about the memories of being together.

I feel like I don't have a fight in me to heal. And when I fall in defeat I want you to know without being told.

I'm so messy, and it's wrong without you here. It's so unclear, I need you here Bil.