A Decision
News of Grief 2
Kidung Sesal Anak Durhaka By: Siti Rokayah
About crying that has run out of meaning
In the heart that is now only a desolate niche
I want to rest at the feet of my mother
But unfortunately, one door to heaven has been closed
Twisting the circular time on the wrist
I was once still your favorite funny girl
I cried, screamed, whined for something
I'm sorry Mother, who doesn't understand you will be tired
At midnight
You're awake to give me milk
While Dad
Dad, keep chanting holy verses will be a sign of love to me
When I start growing
You taught me to know the word patiently
You taught me to step, even if you're the one who has to train
When I cry, you wipe my tears
although it is actually you who is sobbing
Fathering....
Mothers.....
When your child starts to become a teenager
Why he cannot read all his senses
You miss Mother....
You are restless Father....
Even I feel uncomfortable about your worries
I feel ashamed of your love
No soft, soft words were spoken from my lips
There is no respect and no respect for me
There are, just the snaps I threw at you
I'm mad
I blame
When you don't understand me a little bit
Mothers.....
I'm sorry I never saw your tears
I'm sorry that I don't understand you will hurt
And Dad....
I'm sorry I don't care about getting tired of you
I am sorry for always enjoying my patience
I miss Mom....
I want to meet Dad....
Why is it that when I wake up, you've left me forever
Just yesterday
Mother defended me, kissed me, and hugged me
Then this second he had already gone to face illalhi
And you picked him up first, O Rabb
Sorry, I have never been happy
Regretting, I didn't have time to bow down at his feet
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad
Brass, 11 September 2018
...✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨...
At home..
20.00 WIB hours
My kids and I are home. They were both in her room. While I'm still waiting for Bimo who hasn't come home yet.
In my solitude and solitude tonight, it occurred to me that one person was Abimanan.
The incident that happened to him right now, was exactly the same as what I had experienced before. Betrayed by those we love. It inflicted deep wounds on me and the children.
It turns out that Allah SWT is fair. God is not sleeping.
Abim once betrayed me, now he is betrayed by Reyna. It must be like my pain!
Immediately I woke up from the daydream. Then look at the sound!! My husband just got into the house.
"Assalamualaikum darling!"
"Waalaikumsalam mas, until this night."
"Yes baby! Are the kids asleep?" Say it and kiss my forehead.
"It's mas! Where's Mr Harris?"
"Already gone!"
Me and Bimo went to the room! Bimo cleaned himself in the bathroom. Today Bimo so go home late at night, because there is an invitation in both places!
After the bath Bimo sat in the chair and drank a glass of milk that I provided at the table.
"How's this Ainun ma'am?"
"Mama her condition worsened. Mama disease advanced stage uterine cancer. Mama would love to meet Mas Abim."
"Then."
"Lek Ina asked me for help, ma'am. So that we can find Abim's mas."
Bimo started to get jealous, as I kept mentioning Abimanan's name. But Bimo can resist his jealousy.
"Do you want to go look for it?"
"Ehmm. don't!"
"Darling, I don't forbid you to be close to them. But I want to stay focused on our family. There's me, the kids you should pay more attention to! They are not your family anymore, but that does not mean that the relationship with them broke up! Just know the limits! Understood?"
Bimo said like that, to tell me slowly. Although Bimo doesn't really like me being close to my ex-in-law. For Bimo they also have a family, let it be their business. I need to stay focused on my new family.
"Yes mas!"
"Hum..!"
The night was getting late, we both rested.
****
Hour 03.00 WIB
I heard the sound of water coming from the bathroom. Then open your eyes slowly. I saw Bimo who was not there next to me, was in the bathroom.
As usual Bimo always woke up to carry out tahajud. I got up and walked to the bathroom!
We both pray tahajjud together.
.
.
Dert.dert..
My phone keeps ringing. Either there's an incoming phone call from who this early.
"Thank you first, baby. Who knows what's important!" Said Bimo.
I got up and picked up the phone lying on the side of the bed. Then I saw a call coming in from Sugi.
What's up, huh? Om Sugi called so early. Is this about mama? My words were slow and not heard by Bimo.
My phone is still in my hand. Waiting for my phone to ring again. I sat there, and soon my phone rang again. Raised it.
"Assalamualaik."
"Waa. waalaikumsalam! Hiks.hiks..hiks" He said in tears.
The sound of Lek Ina crying sounded very clear in my ear. My heart immediately beat fast.
My thoughts drifted far away, about mama Ainun.
Ahh .. I hope not. My words and I pat those thoughts far away.
"What's lek? Story soon?"
"Mbak.mbak Ainun critical!! Hicks..
Ma'am Ainun call you and Abim! Can you come here, right? Hiks.hiks..hiks.."
Deg.deg.
I sat helplessly! I don't know what I should do.
Bimo who was praying stopped when he heard my conversation on the phone! Bimo stood up and walked over to me.
"Why dear, is everything okay?"
"Well how is mas? I'm confused what to do?"
I can't just leave! Even though I'm worried about it. I still have to ask Bimo for permission.
"Say what's wrong?"
"Mama Ainun is critical, Lek Ina told me! Lek Ina asked me to meet with Abim! What do I do, mas?"
Bimo clasped my hand tightly and his face smiled at me. Then Bimo said softly.
"Tomorrow we can look at Mrs Ainun. It's still dark! Just pray that Ms. Ainun is okay. God's best wishes for his recovery! I'll be friends tomorrow!"
I smiled at Bimo too. Bimo always gives understanding to me and the children with meek and easy-to-understand language!
"Thank you, my!!"
"Yes. I want to go back again!"
Bimo continued to read the Quran which had been delayed. I chose to go to the kitchen.
.
.
Adhan shubuh reverberated in every mosque, it sounded so clear. Bimo came out of the room and then his footsteps headed to the children's room and woke him up.
'Sister. adek.wake up son! Let's wake up and pray first."
"Report.."
Aisyah's mouth evaporated widely and was blocked by her hands. His eyes opened slowly and looked at his standing ashes.
"Pig." Her chattering.
"Eh."
Sisil gets up and walks into the bathroom uy takes ablution and is followed by his sister.
"Let's wait for dimusholla."
Bimo walked out of the children's room. His footsteps walked towards the kitchen.
"Honey. pray first. Call grandpa!"
"Yes mas!"
Bimo then went kemusholla, I woke up Aryan's grandfather and mbok Darmi directly kemusholla.
After everyone got together we prayed together. In prayer, I pray for the health and safety of my family. As well as for the recovery of mama Ainun as well.
Finish praying Aryan's grandfather back in the room. Likewise with mbok Darmi who went to the kitchen.
As for me, Bimo and the children were still sitting together.
"Adek... big brother later you will follow Abi with mother to the hospital, huh?"
"Yesterday, abi!" Sisil.
"Yes. Now go with Abi, mother and you."
"Oh." Answer Aisha briefly.
"Now you guys get ready and then have breakfast and we go together."
"Ok abi!"
The kids go to the room to get ready! Bimo also went to his room! I continued cooking in the kitchen.
.
.
While cooking, Bimo approached me, and clutched my body tightly.
Instantly I was surprised, moreover there was a Darmi mbok next to me. Mbok Darmi just smiled looking at him.
Bimo whispered in my ear. "Innalilahi wa innailaihi rojiun bu Ainun has breathed his last five hours past twenty minutes."
I heard tears. My feet were starting to feel weak. My eyes also began to blur. Immediately I was unconscious and fell!
Bimo caught my body. Then bring me to the room.
"quickly bring warm sweet tea to the room!"
"Good mas!"
Mbok Darmi directly makes warm sweet tea. Then bring him straight to the room!
Bimo was so panicked when he saw I was unconscious! Putting my green eucalyptus oil on so I could wake up.
I slowly began to smell the fragrance from the eucalyptus oil and opened my eyes. Mbok Darmi who came immediately gave a cup of tea to Bimo.
Seriate....
