A Decision

Stories of the Past

More precisely one year ago...

Eid al-Fitr Day in the 14th year of the wedding of Abim and I. The beginning of the outbreak of the destruction of my household this year.

As usual in previous years, we and our family always intercede to the homes of parents and relatives. And make a pilgrimage to the tomb.

Abim throws his car. Then the four of us got out of the car and walked inside. There have been many families from the Effendi family come to visit.

"Assalamualaik." Say the four of us at the same time!

"Glamma!" Answer simultaneously.

We shake hands to apologize for wrongdoing and khilaf to both parents and existing families.

After the sungkeman event was over, Abim sat alone while playing his phone. Without talking to his family.

I looked and approached. "Dad, don't eat ketupat." Ask me and Abim refuses!

"No bun! Bun can't you, I went to a friend's house to silahturahmi?"

"Can, but whose house is it?" Ask Abim a little suspiciously!

"Joseph's House!"

"May, I take the kids!"

"If you bring the children, can't wait to ask to go home bun! Alone, yes!" Abim's unusual protest behaved like that!

"Some want family! Why should I go!" I asked back!

"Yes, I'll meet you later too! You can bun!"

"Yes, but not for long. We should go to Mom's house with papa."

"Yes baby!"

Abim got up from his seat and went to his room to get ready! I feel the strangeness of Abim's attitude from day to day is changing more and more unusual!

Ah, is that just my feeling. But it's weird! Thought I kept that thought in my brain.

Abim said goodbye to me, his parents and other family!

After saying goodbye, Abim immediately left with his car!

My feelings this time became more and more incoherent, not since when I felt like this. But this feeling increasingly became accompanied by a change in Abim's attitude.

Mama Ainun came closer to me who was sitting alone.

"What are you doing here?" Ask mama Ainun who saw me sitting alone and daydreaming.

"Mama, I'm fine! No need to worry!"

"But Mama noticed, you're a little anxious." Ask mama Ainun back.

"Look, ma! I. It is about the instinct of a woman or not. But ..." I said while explaining everything to mama Ainun.

"There's no way Abim's cheating." Bela mama Ainun to her son.

"There's more ma! Abim once asked for permission to remarry. Then I just refuse. To the point that I cry."

"Emmm. Kidding time! Don't think about it, Manda!" Seduce mama Ainun by hugging me.

"Ma, I've also found the contents of a WhatsApp message on Abim's mobile phone with another woman. Which words are so friendly."

"You must not be too suspicious of your husband. Just trust that Abim won't cheat." Said mama Ainun whose words continued to defend her son.

Go tell Ainun, because he doesn't trust me either.

****

After lebaran ..

Abim said goodbye, the reason there was a reunion. I already convinced him. My feelings are getting less and less. Since his departure for the school reunion.

I wanted to find out and ask my school friends. But what if it's all true. It will even become a problem. I'm getting tangled up, trying to control my feelings. Keep thinking positive.

.

.

Until the day of his return? There was a big smile on his face. He told me all sorts of things about his holidays.

At first I behaved accordingly.

But day by day his attitude was increasingly showing impropriety. There is something strange about Abim. Getting further away from me.

I felt Abim's attitude change, not just me. But to the kids too!

His phone is always in his hands. Can't be touched, even if Aisyah touches it. Always take it wherever even the bathroom is taken! Late home, sleep at night sometimes until the dawn can fall asleep.

How can I just shut up! I was angry at Abim's attitude. Trying to speak from the heart of the heart. But he didn't tell the truth. Until the peak, I was really disappointed in his attitude. Get angry! Can't control myself.

"Mas, what's wrong? Don't lie to me!" I said while screaming and crying.

Isdeg..

Astaghfirullah allazim, what did you just say! What mistake? Is it true how I feel that you are cheating. My inner.

"Mas jawab! Honestly don't lie anymore! Are you cheating?"

"Yes!"

I looked to the left as if I could not believe what Abim said. Then answer slowly and patiently! "I'll forgive you, but don't repeat it again."

"Would you ever forgive my fatal mistake."

"Ma..you mean what mas?" Ask me and wonder!

"I'm married again!" He answered and still joined me.

"What! Tega you mas, I thought you were just a path of Sejam But you are married!"

"Let'soooooo!"

"I'm sorry!"

Abim apologized to me, but I could not forgive Abim just like that, everything he did to me was too painful.

****

After that, I kept quiet with Abim. Just take care of Abim's needs. I also do not want to be touched by Abim. The disgust that she had been touched by a woman other than myself.

.

.

From then on, I told my parents and Abim's parents.

They were shocked as if in disbelief, but everything had happened.

From there my household became chaotic, not harmonious anymore! There is always a fight with the third person.

.

.

Starting from calling ustad to address the problems of both of us still there is no way out. Because Abim wants me and him! For feeling responsible for both and wanting to improve on both!

To the extent that he kept urging me to accept his marriage.

.

.

Entering the house as if there were no problem! That's what Abim did.

I don't want to be polygamous! But I also dreamt of not wanting my marriage ruined. The opposition of children who do not want to have a stepfather and stepmother for the support of my in-laws! Everything made me think again whether to continue to maintain a household that no longer feels comfortable.

It was a difficult decision for me to make for months! It wasn't easy.

It takes courage, to face all opposition! If I don't dare to make a decision then I will never be happy with my household!

.

.

.

But until this moment, I haven't had the courage...

****

Since that incident, I've been a little bit away from her. Serving the husband is only an obligation . But I'm actually reluctant.

Again Abimanan could never take the time for me and the child again. She is busy with her own world and her job.

Abim is there but for us, he is like nothing.

As much as I can and as much as I can to always make them happy. Makes them smile happily.

...****Happy reading...

...💕 Happy reading 💕...

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