WIFE INSTINCT

Meaning of Friendship

All the way home, Emma's tears didn't stop flowing. He tried to hold it but could not. The shadow of Rany who is fondly attached to her husband continues to disturb her mind as well as the image of the happy face of Richard her husband when together with Rany.

'I can't go home in this condition. I don't want my kids to see my sadness.' Emma nodded and then turned her motorcycle. He's headed to the city park. The rain slowly fell. Emma parked her motorcycle and sat on a park bench under the last tree in the park. The park is deserted. Only seen some people who began to move to the coffee shop because of drizzle. Emma did not care about the clear lights of the sky that began to wet her face. He placed his hand on his chest, trying to take a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. Still feels very claustrophobic. He lifted his face to look at the crying sky, then slowly closed his eyes hoping that his tears would not flow again but in vain. When his eyes closed, clear circles again flowed profusely from both corners of his eyes. Now, Emma's not trying to hold him back anymore. He covered his face with both hands and sobbed. He allowed himself to cry.

'Richard, why are you doing this again and again? What's my fault with you? What are my bones to you? Just tell me, I'll be ready to hear it but not in this way. I'm just a human being, Richard. My patience has its limits. Until when do you want to keep hurting me like this? I'm not really strong anymore. I think I just want to die.' Emma said in her heart. His shoulders shook slowly as his crying mark grew. The phone in his bag kept ringing but he didn't care at all. He lowered his head and placed his forehead on the garden table. The water has not stopped flowing. His hair was wet by the drizzle that still faithfully watered the earth. He tried to calm his heart but still could not. His phone still rings. She knew that her husband called her so she chose to ignore him. Suddenly he felt something touch his shoulder. He immediately raised his face and wiped his tears and turned his head. He was surprised to see Devan standing behind him.

"Sir Devan? Since when is my father here?" Emma asked while trying to smile.

"Devan, not Mr. Devan," Devan replied with a smile and took off his jacket and gave it to Emma.

"Wear this and then come with me to the car" Devan said. Emma shakes.

"No, Devan. Thank ye. Let me alone." Emma said and then returned Devan's jacket.

"Look around. Those people have been watching you since. It's drizzling anyway. I just want you to feel comfortable. If you want to cry, don't stay here. Cry in my car. No one will see you either you won't get wet by the rain" Devan said. Emma was silent for a moment and then nodded. Without saying anything else, Emma walked towards Devan's car. Devan followed him from behind.

"Drink," Devan said, offering a bottle of mineral water. Again without a word Emma picked it up and immediately gulped it down. Devan stared blankly ahead. Emma's phone rings again. Devan glanced at Emma. Emma doesn't seem to care about the ringing of her phone. His eyes were puffy and reddened. His face looks wrinkled. His eyes showed deep sadness. Sometimes he rubbed his face and shook his head. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Along with that, his tears flowed again. Devan turned his face and looked at Emma. Emma held onto her chest and sobbed bitterly. A moment later, he saw Devan and his crying broke. Devan spontaneously reached out his hand, grabbed Emma's head and carried her into his arms.

"cry. Clear everything. Whatever it is, overflow it. Don't hold it in" whispered Devan as she patted Emma's shoulder gently. Emma was crying so hard in Devan's arms. His crying voice sounded soft. This time, he was really hurt. The wound above the wound given by Richard, the man he loved dearly. The man he had always respected and who he had entrusted a second chance with was now back to betray him.

*****

"Emma, may I ask you a question?" Devan widens his eyeballs awaiting approval from Emma. Emma nodded slowly.

"Are you still feeling hurt?" ask Devan.

Emma turned her head to look at Devan then frowned.

"you reckon? Do you think forgetting that was as easy as turning your palm? Of course I'm still very hurt, Dev. I can't even think straight. My mind is so fucked. I'm stressed, Devan," Emma replied in a stern tone. Devan smiled at Emma's reply.

"Alright, Emma. You're still very hurt. You also can't think clearly for now so don't make any decisions for now. You can make a decision when your mind is calm. The decisions you make right now are the result of your mind still filled with anger. You haven't involved your feelings. Emma, I'm not defending Richard. Not at all. I am not in favor of error but I want to tell you that no human being is perfect. I'm not forcing you to forgive him but I want to remind you that when you first decided to marry him it meant that you were ready to accept his good and bad. Doesn't every household have its own exams?" Devan said very softly. Emma was silent for a moment.

"Devan, I feel it. You don't know how hard I'm going through all this. How hard it is for me to fight to stay strong, to stay sane despite the repeated hurt he made. I'm a robot, Dev. I'm just a fragile woman. I can't take it anymore. I want to give up" Emma replied in a soft tone. Devan smiled and patted Emma on the shoulder.

"For me no. You're not a fragile woman. If you were a fragile woman, you wouldn't have made it this far. Look atyou. You are still strong, you are still strong in the same condition even though you can still calm down like this. Emma, you can complain, you can cry, you can be angry but never stop fighting. It could be that when you're about to despair, the miracle is already very close to you. You can't lose with trouble. The problem you have to lose." Devan said while giving kissu to Emma. Emma took a tissue and rubbed her face.

"Don't think of an answer to respond to my words just now. Clean your face and wear make up. You should still look happy and excited in front of your children. Show them love and happiness, not sadness. They don't deserve to feel the pain of the hurt you're feeling. You are a good mother. I trust you, Emma," Devan said. Emma looked at Devan's face for a long time and she smiled. This time his smile looked even more sincere than before.

"For the sake of my children" Emma said, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. Devan smiled happily.

"Thank you, Devan," Emma continued.