Who is Myself

Uneasily

That day was so sunny weather as bright as the heart of two people who were kasmaran.

"Please enter the princess", Aldo said as he opened the car door for Kirani when they were about to leave for work.

This time Aldo really wants to drive his own car without being accompanied by a driver.

" What the hell? ", kirani looks embarrassed to be treated like that and immediately gets into the car.

Aldo's getting ready to plunge the gas. During the trip they talked about the proposal plan that they would hold after forty days of his death Papi Aldo.

" Have you told your Mom and Dad? ", aldo asked Kirani.

" Not yet, the plan is later in the afternoon I want to call. Last night I tried to call but was not picked up, maybe they were asleep" replied Kirani.

"Where do you feel, you're really ready for me to bet?", asked Aldo who made Kirani look directly at Aldo.

" Shouldn't I have asked you about it? ", kirani instead turned the question to Aldo.

" I'm ready, even if this afternoon we have to get married I'm ready too" Aldo replied casually as he watched the streets to drive.

"I'm serious Aldo, don't joke", Kirani said with a sharp look at Aldo.

" I'm serious too dear", Aldo returned Kirani's gaze but soon he again noticed the road.

"Are you ... can you.. throw away your doubts?are you... are you really sure about your decision to apply for me...? what if... ", kirani seems hesitant to ask Aldo everything, but he is eager to know what Aldo's heart really is like.

" Dear, I know what you're thinking and what you're afraid of. We will never know what will happen tomorrow. God has arranged everything, our task is only to live and accept everything sincerely", Aldo began to be serious with his words, said the wise words that were once able to conquer the heart of Kirani.

"As a husband I have tried to be loyal to my wife and to maintain my household, caring for my wife with affection despite her disturbed psyche. But no matter how much I held her back to stay beside me, the fact was that my wife needed intensive psychiatric care. And you know how the law of a husband and wife who one of them is in mental disorder? And who would have thought God would send you into my life? Do we doubt the path God has given us? ", Aldo at length explained to Kirani and hoped that Kirani would eliminate the fear in his heart.

Kirani remained silent, unable to answer Aldo's words. But Aldo instead asked, "You may doubt me, but will you also doubt God's destiny? ".Sontak Kirani immediately shook her head.

" Then we follow the destiny that God has given us. Maybe I don't know how many times I've repeated this word to you. And I hope this is the last time I say it, because I don't want to see you in the shadow of fear and being cornered. Okay well? ", Aldo ended his conversation while one of his hands stroked Kirani's hair while the other was still focused on driving. And Kirani could only nod.

Soon their car arrived in front of the hotel and they got off. Again Aldo who opened the car door for Kirani with the same words, "Please princess".This time Kirani just smiled without protest and even thanked Aldo.Lain case when departing earlier Kirani still looks awkward in treated like a princess.

"Later in the afternoon before returning home, I will take you first" Aldo told Kirani while enjoying the food they had ordered.

" where? ", Kirani responded to Aldo's invitation while continuing to chew the food in her mouth.

" A visit to the Mental Hospital where Tania is treated" replied Aldo who made Kirani almost choke in shock.

Kirani immediately took a drink so that the food that arrived clogged in the throat could he swallow.

"You want to, right? ", asked Aldo back to Kirani to make Kirani again drink the drink until it runs out.

" Why should it be with me? don't you usually come there by yourself? to be honest, I'm afraid, because Tania doesn't know me. I'm afraid he'll make a fight if he meets a stranger? ", Kirani replied by expressing a sudden unease approaching her mind.

" Therefore I would like to invite you, I would like to know you to Tania so that you are not a stranger to us anymore. This also includes adab. In any case, I should still ask him for permission even though I won't get any answers from him" Aldo told Kirani.

Kirani was silent, her mouth was mute. Either his head would shake or nod with the explanation Aldo had given.

A few minutes later passed without a sound from them, it seems that Kirani was really anxious to think about Aldo's request to visit Tania. Even Kirani's appetite was just gone, suddenly there was something stuck at the end of the throat that made it difficult to swallow food.

The silence was over after Aldo said to Kirani, "If you're not ready, maybe we can go next time if you feel ready".

Kirani just nodded slowly, because it was actually what Kirani wanted to say and again Aldo could read his mind.

On the way home Kirani did not seem to talk much, his gaze was more often directed towards the car window. I don't know what he's looking at, but it just seems like an empty daydream.

Kirani's heart was so agitated, in her little heart she felt guilty at her position. But if he steps back he'll hurt a lot of people. Aldo is of course then his Mama and especially if he retreated then Aldo will be haunted by the last message from his late Papi who asked Aldo to immediately marry himself in order to immediately have offspring.

Plus he remembered the first time he met Tania while still living in a house with Aldo, tania cries hysterically and makes Kirani feel helpless when she sees Aldo calming Tania down. Seemed a great and sincere expression of affection from Aldo to be able to relieve the cries of Tania. Remembering all that made Kirani feel unworthy to be among them.

Kirani took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. He knew that he should be prepared to see such an incident again during a visit to the Mental Hospital later.

------