When You're Gone

I haven't forgiven you

On the way to Khairani's room, Irul could see Farhan's destruction. The forty-five-year-old man looks like he's wrinkling his forehead and thinking hard .

" Bang, let me help you talk to Rani. "

" No, let me. It will be different if you explain it. I was just thinking the right word. I have to explain everything today. Whether Khairani accepts it or not I have to be prepared for the consequences. "

" Bang, no matter how good Bang Farhan used to explain I'm sure Kak Rani's pain will be the same. The difference may be that after he hears the truth later, Rani can understand and not blame Bang Farhan. Even if we have to wait a little while. "

"well, you're right, Rul, I'll wait until anytime. As long as Khairani does not ask for a divorce is enough. " Farhan pinched his forehead, when imagining about a divorce.

Eventually the short journey came to a halt in front of Khairani's nursery. Irul chose not to enter to give Farhan and Khairani space to speak from heart to heart.

" You're not sleeping ?" Sapa Farhan after closing the door .

" No "Khairani answered briefly then looked up at the sky of the room.

" Dear, I have to go to Japan ." A moment Khairani stiffened at Farhan's words. But he did not respond to it.

"Papa is sick, he is declared into a coma after being found unconscious in his study. " Farhan continued while glancing at Khairani and observing her reaction.

"Why ? Did something happen or is he really sick ?" Khairani asked while looking towards Farhan. Farhan smiled as thinly as possible, until Khairani did not notice. At least his wife is still worried about his parents.

" The company is in bad shape, Papa is in shock and triggering a heart attack. Sorry, you're still sick but I have to leave you. Not only Papa, but the Company also needs me. "

" Go away, I'm fine. I'm going home with Irul. " Said Khairani who looked back at the sky of the room.

" Khai, may I come closer and. I just want to sit near you. " Said Farhan lirih. Khairani did not hate it, but the nausea arrived when she saw Farhan close to her.

" Can... " Tanya Farhan again.

" Try, but don't get too close. " Khairani said at last. Farhan's smile was engraved on his lips. Farhan approached Khairani and sat in a chair near the gurney.

" Do you feel uncomfortable, if you say so. " Said Farhan. Khairani shook her head.

" You want to hear something ?"

" What is "Khairani with her short answer.

" Wait a minute. " Farhan pulled out his cell phone and opened the recording the other day. Then tune it and put it on the mattress near Khairani so that Khairani can hear clearly.

Khairani, who was initially surprised, began to listen carefully. Those round eyes started to glaze over. Until finally no longer able to stem the herd.

Khairani smothers her mouth when she hears Jeany provoking Citra to the point of becoming increasingly depressed. And until death due to high tension during pregnancy . Those round eyes that had been wet looked at Farhan who was looking down while holding hands.

Farhan was afraid to touch Khairani and caused Khairani to vomit again. Hence he sat down while folding both his hands in front of his chest.

But hearing a sobbing from his wife, spontaneously made him look up and look at his beloved round eyes that had been staring at him first.

For a moment his hands slipped from his chest. The hand touched Khairani's fingers on the side of the half-lying body . Realizing Khairani did not respond or rather let him, Farhan grasped tighter.

For a moment they strengthened each other through their grasp until finally the recording was finished playing, but Khairani still cried in silence. Farhan did not understand what Khairani was feeling .What he saw his wife crying was either sad or sick. I don't know...

Honestly Farhan was confused as to what to do. Farhan approached and hugged his wife. But afraid his wife would vomit again. But he could not see Khairani's tears flowing. Finally Farhan ventured to ask.

" Khaira, forgive me. Can I hold you ? " Khairani did not answer. But Farhan could feel Khairani's hand gripping.

Farhan pulled the hand to his lips, and kissed for a long time while closing his eyes. His longing for Khairani he took out the tiny fingers.

" I'm sorry, forgive me. " Say Farhan repeatedly while continuing to taint the fingers. Khairani who felt the same longing even sobbed.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Don't cry anymore, pity her. " Khairani can't say a word. He began to wrap his hands around Farhan's waist. Tied tightly to her husband's burly body in her arms.

Khairani desperately longs for the warmth of her husband's embrace. Since she was pregnant only two nights ago she was not hugged when she slept, which made her nervous. But because of the painful event made him not want to be close to Farhan.

Khairani does not hate, but her heartache makes her want to stay away. Although in her deepest heart Khairani believes her husband is unlikely to betray but still remember all that makes Khairani nauseous and vomit.

Watching her husband's body overrun by another woman in front of her eyes, seeing her husband enter another woman was truly the most heart-breaking thing for a wife. Khairani is still an ordinary man and it is not easy for her to accept the fact that her husband does not just touch her.

But after hearing the conversation in the tape, Khairani realized that her husband was also just a human being. Not to be separated from mistakes also has a limit of ability. Khairani does not want to lose her husband but her heart is hurting.

" May I be selfish this time ? I can't forgive you yet but I'm also afraid of losing you. I haven't been able to accept everything that's happened but I miss you. " Khairani said stingingly with her stuffing.

" You can punish me with anything, or any way but don't ask me to stay away from you let alone divorce. " Farhan's voice sounded hoarse and trembled withstanding the cries.

" My heart hurts, it hurts. " Khairani lirih said.

" I know, it hurts me more to see you like this. Ii'm sorry. I know my apologies won't ease your pain, but I'll apologize for the rest of my life. " Farhan kept dipping the top of his wife's head.

The two husbands and wives spilled each other's pent-up feelings. Hugging and freezing full of warm kisses. Just silence each other while permeating togetherness until tired.

" Dear, my legs are numb. May I sit down. " Farhan who had hugged Khairani with a standing condition began to feel tired.

" Just standing for an hour is tired, but last night you did not get tired exercise until you forgot your wife. " Khairani's words while frowning touched Farhan's feelings.

"I'm sorry " said Farhan who doesn't know what to answer. He hugged Khairani tighter and tighter.

" Yes, it's gone. I want to sleep ." Khairani said as she let go of the winding of her hand. Farhan let go of his embrace.

After helping Khairani to lie down, Farhan also lay down. He hugged his wife from the side. But his position was right in front of Khairani's stomach.

" Hey Baby, Papi misses you. Can Papi visit you. " Farhan's words got a blow from Khairani who was looking at him sharply.

"I haven't forgiven you, Bang. "

" Kidding dear. " Farhan said. Then she kissed Khairani's stomach. "Bapi wants to go to Opa first yes, take care of Mother. Do not allow Mother to cry because Papi is far away can not calm Mother later. " She said.

It was as if it were intended for Khairani. Because Farhan said it while looking at his beloved round eyes. Khairani looks sad with her round eyes that are starting to dim and sad.

"When did you go ?" Ask Khairani.

" Later tonight, is it okay. ?" Ask Farhan back.

" That fast? " The question made Farhan shift his body to align with Khairani.

" Why, still miss ?" Jahil Farhan's smile was seen teasing Khairani.

" Not at all, but still. Not yet punished. " Farhan chuckled at her and hugged Khairani tightly.

" I'll be back soon, pray that my business will be facilitated there later. " Khairani could only nod in Farhan's arms.

"Don't hurt me like this again. If it happens again I can be sure I'm really crazy or lifeless again. I'm not strong. " Khairani's voice was more like a groan heard by Farhan.

"I never meant to hurt you, honey. But if I don't do it on purpose I'll pay for it with my life. "

"I love you, my Khairani"

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