When the Orange Tassbih

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My blood is boiling, my anger is stirring. I was really angry with him.

Yeah, that's what I am now.

If there may be someone who thinks I shouldn't be like that. The anger was excessive towards him.

Because according to him, I am the one who makes this story complicated, because I did not make the decision to go back with him.

Yes, it is true!

But I don't know what that person would feel like to be me.

It's about feelings, it's about the sensitivity of a woman's heart.

 

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I looked at the woman sitting next to me. And the woman looked at me. Surely, I became the spectacle material, he, from then on.

Then for a moment my gaze collided with the woman. From his gaze it was as if, he, looked concerned at me. Yes, the look on his face looks full.

I also spoke to him as if to convey my thoughts about, adelio.

"He really left me. He really doesn't care about me" I said to the woman.

The woman responded from her seat.

"What was that man's lover, you?" askinya.

"He was a man who gave me hope and he was my humble hope. But it was a lie he had told me. Yes, today is my first meeting after a long separation. And only the disappointment I get, not the form of hope I should."

The woman kept staring at me. I don't know what's on his mind. Just a pity, is it?! Or is pervading the softness of my inner pain.

I changed my sitting position as before. Yeah, back to the table.

I leaned my back with a straight forward view, of course an empty view.

I spoke again as if I were talking to someone in front of me. Of course I deserve someone who has lost his sanity.

I can no longer harbor my inner turmoil. I want to pour out all my thoughts about my disappointment and assumptions towards my attitude, adelio, to me.

Humm..really I didn't expect, adelio, not as smart as before. Yes, he used to be a figure of coolness on the back of my heart and one able to understand my every anxiety. But now.....?! Ahk, loser! I said in my heart this time.

I took my breath, and then I exhaled strongly.

And then I wiped my tears that kept pouring out.

Then I went back to mumbling". Oh. No, he, at least, understands this heartache, which has far crawled with all my hopes, to him?!

Why, he, did not ask a single bit?!

Am I okay?

Yep. Suppose, he asked, I would say that now I am dead. I no longer have a point to continue this life.

And, do I still have another hope?!

Yeah, I don't think there's any more. Because today's meeting was my only hope. The day my heart started laughing again, but it was just a quick laugh to cry forever.

All I get today is more than all the sadness in this life.

Now I sat down with tears in my eyes. I'm sorry about this really poor self.

Oh God! Was the disappointment I got today written on my way of life?!

Oh Allah...! Why don't you just take my life as soon as possible! I'm getting tired, God!

There was no longer any hope of me fighting for life.

Yes, I am now willing to take my life, immediately...!

My tears broke and no longer cared, where I was. I don't care about the people in the cafe. I also seemed to have completely lost consciousness.

Brukkkkkkkkkk

I hit the table in front of me.

People's eyes were also pointing at me.

Then I cried for a moment.

After that, I stopped my crying. Then speak for yourself impressed cursing, adelio. Even though he's not in front of me anymore.

I

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