Virally

21. Dilemmas

Sometimes it brushes off the happiness in the heart to prevent heartache because pseudo-happiness feels so excruciating..

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I closed the door slowly and headed to the bed. Bian's statement this afternoon re-spinned in memory like the movie I was in as the lead. Cheeks felt hot reflected Bian's face and gaze.

He's handsome, charming and cold but if I walk with Bian what about the other guy's view.

I exhale annoyed sometimes want to throw away the heart so as not to feel pain will ridicule and attitude given others to me.

How does SPG stare at a cosmetics store, boutique or shopping venue when it comes to serving me. Different attitude when with Cahya or Natasha. Smiles full of falsehoods spread even though not all behave like that but that is what makes online shopping choices more enjoyable.

Just touch the fingers of all the items will arrive how many days later. I headed towards the dresser staring at the reflection in the mirror. Honesty is obtained from the reflection of a mirror. The shadow of a girl seemed to fill the mirror. I snorted annoyedly as if my weight had jumped back up.

What if it was with Bian with a round body like this. I stood looking at the fat on my belly, waist, legs that were all rounded. My body is like a ball ready to bounce.

Though I have reduced the portion of food than usual why still fat too. It is stupid that is important to be healthy. I grabbed the device and searched for photos that had been edited by Dewo. To be honest I never upload selfie photos that are edited to be beautiful. Better edit photos by changing the appearance of color to warm or vintage.

Fun skating in cyberspace makes my eyes sleepy. I'll pick up the dream soon.

*********

"Sister, wake. Yukkk morning run". The cry of Dewo woke me up mercilessly. Asem tuh son. Immediately I opened the door before one village was awakened by her screams.

Along the way, my handsome brother here is a charm. Forgive the narcissist. In the days I was still ABG boys rarely narcissistic usually they behave more cool. Especially for rocking tiktok but the times have changed certainly can not be equated anymore. Teenagers are now more confident in expressing themselves.

"Dewo photo Brother, yes". I immediately took up the position of cending the tree.

"sister don't tend".

"Why not good?".

"The tree fell down". Dewo makes my lips so sweet.

This morning we spent 20 minutes running, eating chicken porridge with cilok and seblak 30 minutes. The rest of the documentation sessions, of course. That's what matters, being happy.

I edit photos with the caption 'morning exercise do not forget friends, always take care of health'. Then Dewo and I went home.

**********

This afternoon I was at the boutique checking out Instagram. Some scathing comments attracted my attention.

"Sports continues to not be like a ball".

"Sok very cute".

"Round seedling rollers rather than runs".

Actually there have often been comments like this but usually I do not really care.Seenaknya just tell roll in his mind I bowling ball play roll only.

I deleted the comments which made the heartache but back again the comments with different accounts appeared. Immediately I blocked the account with a spicy sentence like this.

Do I have to diet strictly this time. I then remembered the endorse offer of slimming drugs that I always refused. I never dared to take risks with an unclear drug endorsement.

I immediately checked the account that sold the slimming drug in e-commerce. Anyway I seem to have to slim down this time.

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This slimming drug is in hand. Shouts Mama for breakfast I replied with the reason of hurry to the boutique and Miepa. I will not have breakfast, lunch with a small bowl of rice and side dishes, afternoon eat 5 tablespoons of oatmeal mixed with milk. Night eating fruit plus this slimming pill.

All day my stomach feels full after taking the pill. The effect caused makes the appetite disappear. So did the next day. I'm glad it's the way I want it. How many days later the same thing I did.

The scale this time is friendly digital numbers listed show my weight dropped by two kilograms within a week. I want to scream happily. Tomorrow I'll do the same.

Today I took a full-body photo because I was so happy to finally lose weight. The photo was uploaded on Instagram.

"Sister, really don't want to poke?". Boutique clerk Ku offers spicy peppers that look tantalizing on a rainy day like this.

"Not to diet anymore".

"Cilok doang, I won't make you fat". I shook my head firmly and returned engrossed in counting the newly arrived homedress stock but suddenly I felt a dizzy head and stomach wrapped around. Cold sweat came out from the palms.

I tried to stand by holding the closet shelf. My head feels heavy, My legs feel no power to support the body. I collapsed onto the floor and the last thing I heard was the boutique clerk shouting My name.

********

The scent of lavender essential oil woke me up. Mama touching the palm looked worry on her face. It's been two days since I fainted yesterday. My weight did drop two kilos but Squidward's body feels boneless in the body.

"Mama did not think that your employee gave a report if you do not eat how many days this is so eat rice to be healthy". My mother's advice made me amused. Eating rice is still a mainstay of Mama even though the age of her child is now 1/4 century

"Fatters, so a strict diet".

"Firmness can indeed trigger health problems and reduce the flexibility of moving but thin by being forced will also still cause health problems and make the body lackluster to move".

"Yes, Orchids know Mama". I look forward to remembering a week passed by torturing myself not to eat as needed.

"Have known it was still breaking".

I got up from the position of the bed to a sitting position. My eyes glared at the sight of the rice mountain along with the side dishes that formed the mountain child.

"When a starving new person can't eat much. It's like going to mubang Ma".

"It's a healthy portion of eating for rice. Be bribed or Mama's bribed!".

"They eat themselves Ma". I bribed slowly into my mouth under Mama's sharp gaze. Forgive me Mama.

"A little bit of food, Nat and Gege just came in before Mama came into the room. Doni's been chatting with Papa and Dewo?".

"Donce you know where he is?".

"From your staff, she's been calling you for a few days but there's no answer so Doni stopped by the boutique".

I sighed indeed after fainting yesterday I was still lazy to hold the cellphone. The temptation to look at social media is bound to come and I'm not ready to accept the scathing words anymore. 'Fat, ball, fat pile'. Words for the utterant felt ordinary but hurtful to me.

Sometimes when the speech was thrown circle friend or when tempted by Dewo it was normal but when thrown continuously as if like a snowball. Little by little it causes pain and then piles up until unbearable.

Not long after that, Mama went back into the room when she just came out.

"Grand there's another friend of yours. Her name is Dian, Bian eh Tian huh. Anyway, they're with you again. If you want to go out and first yes, you look really cute".

"So Bian's in the living room with Doni?".

"On the terrace was told to go in but he didn't want to".

Mama closed the door. Immediately with a limp body I dragged myself to the ornamental table. Alamak had not used a bath for two days and Bian and Doni came together as well.

Natasha went into the room and saw me. The worried expression mixed in with a teasing smile made me want to grab her.

"Bandi first Nggrek, I'm bad.Ntar guy out on the run".

"What will be later".

"Have a short shower". Natasha pushed me for a second then her face revealed anxiety.

" Geez Orchid, your body is a little cold and limp. Don't repeat, extreme diet like this ".

" Yes.yes ". I immediately headed for the bathroom before the long advice from Nat came out

What will happen in the living room and terrace. Where am I sitting this way?. Time in the middle of the entrance between the terrace and the living room. I'm also ashamed of the pain of dieting with Doni. Didn't he already know from the employees there about my fainting. Ah already I have to face it.