The Soulmate Must Meet

Episode 34 - Opening the Tabernacle of the Past

She's staring. A look of regret, maybe he was cursing himself for wasting my life, or was disappointed in his life that had to end up in prison. I sat down, there was fear, hate, anger and confusion where to start.

“If you don't want to acknowledge me as your father, I never regret it. It's all my fault.”

“Why did you leave Mom?” I asked without looking at him, my feelings raged, whether I had to cry, whether to be angry at scolding him for making my life and mother ruined. Without realizing it, my face kept looking up. Realizing that, I slowly lowered my gaze, then I dared myself to look at his aged face.

“Hhh. But.. This is all because I'm too crazy a treasure, too eager to gain power. That's why I chose someone else, a rich lady by having some company.”

“What, means you love Mom so much?”

“More than my life.”

“But why everything you do does not reflect that you love us!”

I looked sharply at the hatred that turned angry.

“I'm affected by alcohol.”

He lowered his head, the low voice pressure already declaring himself regretful. Should I

judge him here?

“Dad knows, you will never be able to forgive all my actions. And I'm not suing you for that either. I've been punished here for all the bad deeds. I have all left it to God. Father Ikhlas.”

“I just want you to know, that the deed makes a wound, makes a person's life in uncertainty, and leads a person into a sin, because there is despair. I live with scorn, humiliation, because my mother suffers from inner, desperate, and has no grip on life. However, you carelessly treat us of your own volition. Which is not out of my mind, You almost every day visit home, but why never know about me, that I am your son?”

He raised his head.

“Your mother hid it from me, after your pregnancy, almost seven years I did not meet your mother, and I found her in a discotheque, at that time I thought she aborted it. And he told me that the fetus was aborted, but the truth is different. I found a little boy at your mother's house, I asked him a question, but he replied that the little boy was his little sister's son who was entrusted. That little boy is you.”

I kept quiet, looking into her teary eyes.

“Your mother knows I'm rich, so we're in love again. Forbidden love, of course, because I am married. But, I don't care, I'm the one who has dark eyes enjoying the worldly beauty. Your mother's life I guarantee, maybe even the money was partly used to finance your school.”

Now my heart is screaming. Why does everything have to happen to me? Why do I accept all this God.

“But.. fate says another. After that incident..”

He's down.

“I'm sorry! I was drunk when I wanted to take away your honor, I really messed up. My company is also in turmoil, I lost the tender with another company.”

He sobbed, unable to withstand the agonizing inner turmoil. Perhaps the pain was more painful than the pain in my heart.

“I was forced to bribe the government people to smooth out other tenders. But all revealed by the KPK, I was arrested. Put in jail, my family's falling apart. My wife is demanding a divorce, my kids are out of nowhere. From prison to this prison of my life, until finally I was placed in this prison.”

His hands clenched, he dropped his fist on the table. Then wept bitterly, like a child who lost a toy. Tears fell soaking in my cheeks, she had a pain heavier than me. He bore a very heavy burden, is this the vengeance of a sin? A feeling of regret that will destroy confidence in yourself.

I can't say anything yet. Let him exhaust his disappointment with tears, he cries of slicing hearts. Because, that was all he could do right now, he was locked in prison in his days. He had no freedom, he was just an elephant trapped in a deep hole. Although large, but unable to get out, lifting his own body.

“You can punish me to the fullest! I received..”

“I didn't come here to punish you..”.

He stopped his crying. I give tissue, then we wipe each other's tears.

“Then why did you come to see me?”

“Do you still recognize me as your son?” my many.

He was surprised, maybe he was wondering why I asked like that? He hurt me, instilled hatred in me. I don't know why I asked like that? May I have become a mature person, forgiving a mistake, must the error have multiple sins.

“Of course I still recognize you as my son. After that incident, I am so sorry, so sorry, why am I so cruel to you.”

“If it is true you are my father, I would like to ask, if a child asks for advice to a Father, will his father give the advice requested?”

“I will try to give that advice, even though I myself have not been right in living life.”

Then I told her about my problems, about the confusion of choosing a husband. He looked at it, with great attention. He tried to analyze every word I said. Maybe he wanted to be a father to me, but in reality he was indeed a father, even though I never felt the touch of his affection.

“That's..”.

He took a deep breath. Then looking out the window, this room was just the two of us, and there was probably a guard behind that door, watching us. But I don't care, I'm determined not to bring up the past.

“I can only give advice, choose the preferred one. Among them both, surely you have more taste for someone. And that sense, uninfluenced by others, purely on your own judgment.”

We looked at each other. That answer refreshes my head, of course this heart has its own choices. Some prefer, are more concerned, and take precedence. It's just that, the people who helped me all this time, gave me the best soul mate, which made me even more worried. I don't want to be said to be the one who doesn't know to return the favor.

“Trust me, that you will be happy.”

He smiled, making my faith stronger. I have to get all this done right away.

“I will try to follow my heart,” I replied.

“That's the best.”

“Then I say goodbye first.”

I got up from my seat. We looked at her for a moment, her eyes were sad as if I would not leave her here.

“Do not be well yourself,” I said.

I stepped up to leave this room, but my steps were stopped by his voice.

“Ahmad, my name is Ahmad Fatonah,” he said.

I turned the body. Back our eyes clashed, all this time I did not know what my father's name was, how he was. Just this time, in this prison. There is regret in my heart if I see how it is like this, tired old face, I should have kept it as a child.

Without realizing it, I approached her and hugged her body. He's still my father, and my only family. His fingers slowly rubbed my head, feeling the weight of his strokes, as if this time he did not want to make a mistake by leaving me. We shed tears again, moved by our very mysterious life.

After that, I gave her the address and phone number in a piece of paper. Maybe next time he can visit me, even though he has said that the sentence is still long. Now, I have to leave him alone again in prison, regretting his life.

“I will be diligent in praying and praying to Allah,” he said.

“It's been a must.. Ay's.. Dad,” my answer came to a bit of a halt when I called him Dad. Because I'm not used to it.

Then I left this room, bringing new hope, bringing new life. My father was a guilty man, but the best of the guilty is one who repents. My father was in the process, I had to support him, help him to go down the path of repentance.

Because the road of repentance is so steep, not everyone is willing to repent, not everyone is able to live it. My father needs me, and so do I. We need each other, that's family.

O Allah, thank you for the life you gave me, for our meeting, for our love.