The Soulmate Must Meet

Episode 2 - About Someone

If I've never liked someone, it's wrong. I have feelings of love towards the opposite sex, even though I'm veiled. But, I can't express it, even though it's a common problem for teenagers like me. Most of them can only admire, without being able to express, because we are women. And women, waiting to be loved by someone.

It's so absurd, isn't it, why should women wait to be loved, can't women love? However, when I tried to resist that, and expressed my feelings for him, I was still unable to.

I entered the class in a hurry. It's common for me to be late, and only I know why, only I know. No one in the class knew that my mother always came home drunk in the morning. I knocked on the door.

“I'm sorry I'm late Mom,” I said.

“Log in, and sit down!” ma Umay's orders. A Geography teacher.

I stepped into the classroom, then towards the bench that was in the third row. I feel like I'm right among the targets of the prey that's ready to swallow alive. Yes, somehow, all eyes looked at me with the same view, maybe they asked, why I did not take off my hijab, why I did not have a different shame myself with all the students.

Embarrassed? Should I be ashamed to close my aura? Or am I the rule-breaker? After all, in my school there is no prohibition that students are prohibited from wearing hijab even though it is not a religious school, but a public school. That is, any religion can study in this government-owned building. Even so, still I wonder, why only I myself who wear the hijab, when the religion with me is very much, yes, the Muslim religion is the majority.

“Bu Haji is late again!” chirp one of the students.

Followed by the laughter of some of my classmates, I tried to keep smiling, even though the insinuations were very frequent. Why is there no other satire, which is more creative.

“Ssttt... Already, don't be noisy! We're learning, and I don't want a fuss!” teacher Umay's voice stopped the room.

I kept going, past Roman. Our eyes clashed, my heart pounding. He is a man I admire, a man who is sociable, smart and also deft. Contrary to me indeed, who is only happy alone. I quickened my pace, then sat down.

“You've done PR yet?” ask Rifa, my friend.

Yes Lord— I forgot, if there is a Geography PR. Make a map of Indonesia, and he said the best Indonesian map images will be displayed in the student creativity room, get prizes, and of course additional value. Really, this is not an element of intentionality.

“Anggun, where's your drawing result?” teacher Umay's voice surprised me.

I just kept quiet, looking at the face of the teacher's mother who was a little old. Maybe I'll retire soon. In this State School, there are so many teachers whose work will end soon, for some reason. Maybe because our school is not a favorite school, or international standard, and our school is in the suburbs of Jakarta which is mostly inhabited by the lower class.

Umay's teacher understood my gaze. Then, he asked me to leave the room, and stand in front of our class. I can't avoid it, all I have to do is carry out the punishment, because it's my own fault. However, some of the disciples just laughed with satisfaction, regardless of what was in me so I had to always be the laughingstock of them and I was forced to have to accept unfavorable treatment from my friends.

Is it because I'm in a headscarf? So they think I'm different, and not from their part? Again about the hijab. This is not fair! or, because I'm the son of a mother who likes to get drunk? So God punishes me like this through the treatment of my friends? Oh my God, this hurts me even more.

“Don't blame yourself, Graceful.”

I smiled at Mr. Mustaf, the school guard who was transporting the trash cans. He's a man who's also old, maybe in a few years' time he'll retire. He always cheers me up at this school. A school guard who lives alone, without children and wives.

“Thank you, Sir.”

I want to cry in front of this class, in a quiet school hallway, because all the students are attending classes in their own classes.

“Sometimes, what befalls us is a lesson to make us successful. You just have to be patient,” said Mr Mustaf. Then he went to haul the garbage cans, his strength was still very strong even though his body was frail.

I've always been happy with Mr. Mustaf's words, although I hate the word patience, it's been my whole life, I've been patient. I stared at the old man, as he passed by leaving me, if I had a father like him, it would have been a lot of fun for me.

The question about my father was not never asked to my mother, but still there was never an answer. I've never heard of a man's name you mentioned, just a look of hate when I asked him that. Father may be a man***, who could leave mother in poverty. But, I want to know who my father is, how he looks, and what he looks like.

People say that a daughter looks more like her father than her mother. Was my father lonely too?

“Why cry?”

I was surprised—Roman was next to me, her eyes scrutinizing the look on my face. Of course, his arrival made me stiff.

I looked up at Roman's face. This heart was offended by what he said, knowing what he was about me.

“You angry?”

“Why do you care about me?” my many.

“Who cares? I just don't like to see the crybaby,” he said as he left. Maybe he'll go to the toilet.

I breathed a sigh of relief, staring at his back that was slowly drifting away. That guy is indeed amazing, could he be watching me too? I don't know, I just need someone to complain about what happened to me. I need someone I can borrow his shoulder to lean my head on. This is the feeling of a lonely teenager, in need of a calm, which can cool the heart.

“Where are you, Anggun?” ask teacher Umay, when I step foot. I looked into the class.

“Ke... to the toilet Bu, can I go?”

Teacher Umay nodded, and without a second thought I went to the toilet. Actually, I was hoping to cross paths with Roman there, maybe I could look him in the eye, or have a little mince-talk.

When I got to the toilet, I washed my face. Even though I want to throw up in a dirty, unkempt toilet. The school building is also almost destroyed. What a concern, a school building in the capital that is not maintained and not noticed by the government. Is it because the people who live in the neighborhood around the school are mostly porters and street vendors so it is not obtained by the government?

I told you where my headscarf was, my eyes were a little puffy, but I felt my face was not bad for a teenager. Why isn't Roman interested in me? Is it because I'm veiled, so I feel limited. Unlike other teenage women who like to dress up, and wear short skirts, even flirt against men.

After I felt enough, I came out of the toilet. Stepping into class, but my steps stopped. In front of me, there was Roman standing, chatting with a male student from another class. This heart beats fast, because I have to go through them, what should I do? Do I have to turn around? But, don't I want to be able to papas an with Roman?

Rather than looking like a fool my— stepped slowly, bowing my head. Let me lose Roman's face, lose his gaze, than I have to sacrifice my self-esteem flirtatiously to them.

“Wait!” Roman's voice surprised me, suddenly my steps stopped.

“I heard from Rifa sound lo nice?” asked Roman after standing next to me.

“My voice?”

“Iya, toad time.”

“Ah, Rifa likes to make up,” I said blushed shyly.

“Gue need vocalist.”

“Vocalist? For what?”

“Yes for singing, time to cosidahan!”

“But, I never sang.”

“It can be set, what is important you want?”

I was silent for a moment, this is my chance to be close to Roman, and of course I can know all about him that I have only been in the head. Roman's eyes were very serious, and he really wanted me to join his band. Yes, every teenager in this school has a music band, some even busing from the city to the city bus.

“I can't, sorry..,” I said.

Roman's gaze changed—why is that coming out of my mouth? This desire was very great to be close to Roman, but there was something else that refused, and the rejection I could not know the reason. As if, he just came out, and wanted me to do something else, which was more useful.

Roman didn't say anymore, he walked away from me. I just stared at her step, why would I refuse her? Oh my God, how should I start, while he's already opening the door, for me.