The Shah of First Love

SHY AWAY

Kani snorted and went towards the classroom. Unexpectedly, his desk and chair were clean this morning. Maybe Reva and his friends are tired of working on it. All he thought about was coming up, showing off a new HP, Android. Kani doesn't care, for her, her phone is already very good. Maybe Reva thinks she'll be jealous to the point of talking about her new phone with such a loud tone of voice. Yana was even distracted until she kept nagging and Kani smiled knotfully.

After school, Kani was sitting down and her mother was cooking. Kani occasionally saw his cell phone, not tired of sending messages with Kalingga but also he did not ignore messages from Amarendra, afraid that his friend was angry like this morning. Kani was aghast when she heard something collapsing in the kitchen, she stopped and ran, he went into the kitchen and saw his mother accidentally drop a plastic shelf that used to lean against the wall of their room. Kani slowly helps tidy up the furniture.

“What's the item that befell Mom?” asked Kani because she saw her mother crying even as she pleased. Her mother shook her head and Kani was sure there was something that made her mother like that. “Let Kani do it, come on, Mom just rest in the room.” Kani invites her mother to leave the kitchen, after sitting in the room, Kani returns to fetch water. Is her mother sick? Why is it so weak and just keeps crying.

Kani sits down after giving her a glass of water, she massages her mother's legs and her mother asks the only room with the door shut.

“Mother wants to talk, maybe your father will be angry if I'm honest with you.” Ms. Ismi wiped her tears and nose.

“What's up, Mom? Any problems now?” Kani was very traumatized by the incident. What his mother is showing right now is definitely not a trivial matter.

Ms. Ismi pulled Kani's hand which was massaging her leg. Kani stared at the tight grip of her mother's hand in confusion.  

“You're the biggest kid, if Mom doesn't talk to you, who else does? It is not possible to be your younger siblings,” said Bu Ismi hoarse and her tears continue to drip.

“What's up, Mom? Say the same Kani.” Kani came closer, ready to hear anything her mother complained. “Mother quarrels with Father?” tanya Kani and Bu Ismi shook their heads loudly.

With a heavy voice and a concerned look, his mother said, “Your father is in a terrible pain.”

Her son's skinny shoulder slumped followed by a loud crying voice. As soon as possible, Ms. Ismi hugged her child tightly, asking for calm if she did not want her sisters to come home and happened to hear what they were talking about. A burden that they will not easily accept let alone to understand. Only Kani is expected to understand Mr. Muji's situation.

“What's the father of pain, Bu?” kani asked with her shoulders up and down, unable to stop her crying.

“Father of lung pain.” Bu Ismi lowered her head and Kani grimaced to hear it.

“Then why did you go to work, Mom? Just rest at home until healed.” Voice's broken.

“What would we eat if you didn't work, that's what you said. You have borrowed to treat Uwa you in Bekasi, our debt has been five million, at any time it will definitely be billed. If it is still a long time no problem, we will collect money, but if Uwa you need also in a short time how? Just think about the daily burden of Mothers having trouble managing it. You should have checked yourself a long time ago, but you only want to after realizing that now the condition is really deteriorating.” Bu Ismi stared blankly and Kani wiped her tears.

“What, Mom? Just tell Kani, Kani promises to change, will be a good boy. Not going to make the same father Mother dizzy again, Kani promised, Mom.” He meant.

Bu Ismi nodded in confidence then muttered, “You have to stop school, can not continue High School. Where's the money for the cost, son? Same father Mom can not.”

Kani pulled back and stopped crying, staring at her mother.

“Bu...Kani wants to go to school.” Kani is hysterical and Miss Ismi tries to calm her down. “Kani won't, Bu.”

“Everything must be bought, not yet for food, money for father's treatment and our family's great debt with Uwa. Everyone uses money, son. Forgive me for being the same father, failing to provide a good and decent life let alone being able to guarantee your school. Sorry.” Ms. Ismi held tightly to Kani's two hands. Kani brushed it off rudely, stood up, left the room while continuing to curse! The world can't make peace with him, God isn't fair to him, and his parents don't think about his future!

Kani goes into the room, cries there, dissolves in her sadness until she forgets time. The good life he dreamed of was extinct before he hit hard to achieve it, this was not even half, he was already defeated by the reality of life that is poverty.

Today it all feels dead and futile for him, enjoying a good life he can not feel let alone to organize life. Kani feels that the world is really unfair, and she begins to curse God for this painful life.

****

Kalingga hissing because Kani suddenly difficult he contact, if he wants to cross paths always avoid, even though tonight is the Sunday night they are talking about. He was already prepared with a black shirt and dark blue pants. Want to go to Kani's house but if this is the case, he must undo the intention.

The next day, Kani is still difficult to contact, even her phone is not active as well as her social media and Monday, Kalingga left, Kalingga left, staring at the house on stage when passing him because he thought that Kani so easy to break the promise when he sincerely approached because he liked it.

While Kani, she feels unworthy of being approached by a man she likes, she even knows that Kalingga has already applied for admission to college. While himself? Just being able to enjoy the last days of enjoying time at school.

The rest of the class rumbled with the laughter of Reva and her friends, Kani was about to sit down but her chair was pulled by Citra until Kani fell down and felt a pain in her butt. Rere approached to help, he looked at his cousin's face. Kani didn't make any expressions. He sits back down and Yana notices Kani's attitude being so changed, does she begin to be affected by Reva's and her friends' behavior?

For Kani, what they do is no more painful than a reality in her life. Fighting would make him tired instead, so he chose to let it go but since he was silent, Reva was becoming more and more so. Silence is wrong especially to fight.