Still waiting for you

42

As planned, we continued our journey to Jogja this morning. Since Mas Alam took breakfast in Salatiga, I only prepared coffee and toast to just stuff our stomachs. If yesterday's trip I always killed time by closing my eyes and knitting dreams. This time is different, last night's moment made my heart like a barren garden called the fresh drizzle rain. My spirit is represented by a beautiful smile-patched arch. The words of Mas Alam before peeping at me long and falling asleep, as if locked at the end of my memory.

"Married to you is everything. Everything without you is a real loss. No, it wasn't just his words that made me blush like red guava. However, the background of the speech that made me blush at once. Yes, the speech was the answer when Umi blatantly rejected the intention of Mas Alam who would propose to me and instead offered the woman of his choice who said Mas Alam, she was a girl with a bright future, and she was a girl with a bright future, having a treasure that he said would not be divisible by seven of its descendants. Wow not once, but Mas Alam firmly answered him with the words earlier. Maybe because of that, Umi and Abi did not deign to attend our wedding tempo heart.

This fact makes my smile fade slowly, must act like what I am when faced with his family later? Apesnya, which does not approve of our relationship is precisely the birth family of Mas Alam, not from the mother's side. That means, all I have to heal is the woman who gave birth to my husband.

Can I melt his heart? I'm used to giving up and mengikhlaskam something that is difficult to achieve, or something real will hurt me if I continue. But, this is husband. Someone I've been waiting for his presence all this time, can I give it up if I don't get my blessing?.

"Mother... " Smooth sips of Mas Alam on my shoulder disperse daydreams. I smiled in return for his call to me.

"Why?, Hmm?" I shook my head, her gentle tone made me affirm the heart that was being troubled, I will not budge this time. He was, the man who had been my legal husband, a man who was so sincere in love with me, who I was sure would be a good priest for me, even for my children later. He doesn't deserve to be let go, he's got to be fought for.

"I won't make you meet my family Nduk, just relax. We're gonna go get salatiga, yeah, until you're ready." This time I nodded, other than because I did need time to prepare my attitude, I will also find out for myself about the father. All I hear is, you've been living in Salatiga for a long time, and I'm going to find information about him. Do you live there alone?, or with your new family?.

"Ask whatever annoys you Nduk, inshaAllah Mas ready to answer it." Mas Alam⁶ said it while continuing to gently rub the back of my hand, occasionally he kissed it with a straight fixed view to the streets.

"Mas, sure?" He turned to me, nodded and carved a fleeting smile, then focused again on driving.

"First. Why did you choose Ami to be the perfector of your religion?"

"That's why you are,"

"You don't have to go out and answer it"

"Ish, you are, yes! If your answer goes on, I'm wondering."

"You, are the reason for everything I've done these last few years." He turned his head and smiled, fuming at the back of my hand that was still faithful in his grasp.

"You've been my life's purpose and focus, ever since I saw you taking care of Grandma Dani after school."

"Mas, you...."

"Yes, Nduk. Follow you every day. At first just curious about you, also worried every time you get off the bus. You went down with some students, but not once did I know you joined them to get home. You always walk the most. One day Mas decided to come down and see you from afar, just to make sure that you were safe until home. But, when you stopped by Dani's house and took the time to take care of Grandma Dani, there Mas realized. That, our affection and devotion should not be bestowed on our biological parents. We can practice it on whoever it is, who deserves it. At that time Mas was very disappointed in Umi and Abi who never supported Mas's presence during school holidays. In fact, Mas always said that Mas will not be fussy and will be a frenetic child there. But, still they refused, let them visit the mother's house he said, even if it had time. Mas feel useless in this world, why would Mas live if he could not pour out the love and devotion of Mas on parents?. And from you, Mas can treat mother like the birth mother of Mas himself, Mas also diligently will help every parent who needs the abundance of love and devotion of a child."

"Then, about Mas's appointment at the time of the event, what?"

"At that time, as the night butterfly's nest was going to be in the rushes and in the building of the mosque, I saw some of them crying by the side of the road. Not swearing, or getting angry because their workplace was taken away. I asked one of them who seemed more in control, I asked them why they were sad, find another place, or open their own services, right, could. Especially for those who have regular customers. But their answer is far from Mas's presumption, Nduk. They say that they go looking for another place, while the dirty place is purified by God. What is the difference between them and the demons that their god has cursed?. It turns out they want to be like that place, purified from all the dirty mass. Finally, I was with my college friends raising funds, looking for donors during the night, to open halal jobs for them, because I felt the work was noble, so I used that opportunity to ask you to be my next world mate. Mas proposed to you directly to Robb who created you, Nduk. So do not be surprised if your heart seems set to only accept my presence, not a man other than myself."

The vow! Today also I want to snatch the magic bag of doraemon and take the door anywhere to run from before my husband, I am sure if my cheeks are currently eleven twelve with rotting tomatoes. I hid the hue of my face to the left side, the cabin of the car that should have felt narrowed because of the tightness of the chest due to the stubborn heartbeat shameless.

"Out... Overextended... Sweet wife... Here dong dear. look away from the husband of sin, loh."

"Cowok mah that. Authoritarian threat!"

He laughed and rubbed the rough tip of my head because of anxiety with my behavior.