Starting From Grey

Cannot Avoid

In this life,

We need pebbles so we can walk carefully.

We need a bush so we can look out for ourselves.

We need intersections so that we are wise in choosing the path.

And we need direction so we have hope in determining the future direction.

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Trying to understand even though I can't understand. Trying to understand in the midst of heartbreak.

I stepped into the gate, I felt something was wrong with my body, but I ignored it.

Today is the day the OSIS debate will take place. Debate conducted to get to know the chairman of OSIS.

And every class there are only a few representatives, so we can be sure that today is definitely free of study hours.

Besides today is Saturday which there are only two subjects and the other four hours are self-development. Yes self-development is a kind of additional class or local payload.

There is music, textile, automotive, literature, painting, and boga. And if the child who does not follow the development of self there are additional lelas namely IPA laboratory, Computer Laboratory and Language Laboratory.

And for today there will be activities until 11, starting from the OSIS debate, elections and vote calculations.

I felt my body was very tired, to go up to the second floor just seemed like I could not afford, I stepped slowly towards the top suddenly my body felt light. I almost fell if I wasn't holding two hands.

"Lo not papa?" asked the two men at the same time as I looked to my right side was Ryan and to my left was Marta. I immediately let go of Ryan's hand, he also seemed to be aware and immediately misbehaved.

"Thank you, I didn't papa just felt so light on my body."

"Lo shoots Mut?" ask Erly who wants to go upstairs too.

"Is she?" I went back and was approved by the others.

"I don't know" I replied, then we walked together.

"Lo really don't papa?" ryan asked again, though with a flat look but there was a tinge of attention in it.

"No papa."

"Entar if you want to go anywhere you have to ask for victory yes, fear why." Ryan said again with attention, to the temptation of the others.

"Ciye very attention is the candidate of our ketos this one. Ciye.." Erly's tease makes Ryan's ears flushed.

"Woe, no campaign," exclaimed Dwi who ran in our footsteps.

"Who's campaigning, too" Ryan's sergeant gave Dwi a chuckle.

"Lo sick Mut?" ask Dwi when she sees me. I just shook my head in response.

"That's great," muttered Dwi. Then Erly and her friends came to class when I reached the front of my class and I stepped into my seat while shaking the hands of the students I met.

I sat down and put my bag in the drawer, after which I felt my head was very heavy, so I put my head on my stomach at the table.

I kept quiet, until it was dark and I felt nothing. Let me sleep for a moment, but today there is no lesson.

"Why the Mutia?" I vaguely heard asking.

"He seems to be sick. His face was pale."

"How come you didn't bring it to the UKS?"

"Where he wants, just keep his distance."

"Where's Mutia?" ask the voice I know. That's Erly's voice.

"Tu, he's still putting his head on the bench."

"Mut, Mutia.." call Erly soft, I hear it but I have no power to make a sound even to respond I can't.

"Where's Er?" shinta asked, that was Shinta's voice.

"Lo asked for permission, I happen to have my aunt downstairs. I'll have him drive to the clinic and then go back to his house."

"But no one knows the house" said Erly slowly.

"I'll ask Abi's brother."

"Did he know?"

"He sent Er home. Cook you forget." I've heard nothing in my shadow there's only one thing dark and I don't remember anything.

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Life sometimes offers a menu we don't like.

Be patient in accepting all that is.

For all things are well planned and beautiful in the hands of the Almighty.

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When my mind goes back in sync and back to functioning. I felt a weakness in my body, and as I tried to look in all directions I saw only one color was black because it was dark. I know the cause, it's all because my eyes are still closed.

I told my brain to give the order to open my eyes, slowly but surely my eyes slowly opened. The first thing I saw was the ceiling. I was already lying in bed.

How am I supposed to be here?

Because I remember I was still in class. I tried to move my body but felt weak and suddenly the pain hit my head.

"You're sober?" ask a middle-aged man who looks familiar in my eyes.

"Want a drink?" asked the mother while giving me a drink.

"The mother brought you with Shinta" said the woman with a smile, and the smile reminded me of someone.

"Lo was already conscious," Shinta's voice sounded from the front door.

"Yes, thank you." I answered shrewdly.

"So I asked my aunt to call your father."

"Sorry it's been a hassle."

"It's okay, why stare at you like that? You forgot your mother?"

I shook my head with a thin smile, I had forgotten but after seeing his smile and tenderness I remembered who he was.

She is Abi's mother.

But how could he be here?

"So the doctor said you had a lot of pressure, ketchup and rehydration, nothing bad." Shinta sat on my left.

"Thank you, Bun, I'm not feeling very good with nicotine" I said slowly.

"We have no hassles anyway" replied the Mother with a soothing smile, making me miss my mother.

"Assalamualaikum" said hello from the father at the door and after getting an answer from us he stepped closer to my bed. Mother also stood and sat in my study chair.

"How are you doing? Whoa, how did your daughter's champ fall?" ask me lucky dad.

I just smiled calmly. I know you're worried, but cover it with your flat face.

''Thank you mom for taking my son," said the father to Abi's mother, then Abi mother explained my situation, after chatting for a while he resigned.

My father took Shinta and Abi to the front, but in a few moments he was sitting next to me.

"Why don't you tell me you're not feeling well?" asked the father with his old face, ah it turns out my handsome father has now started to wrinkle.

"So early in the morning it was just drowning yeah, but abis got off the bus my body added so light and my head feels sore." I explained while holding my father's hand.

"Stay healthy, I always pray for your health."

"Thank you" I replied slowly.

"Rest, I'll ask bi Sum to make porridge."

Not long after my father left me, I closed my eyes. The shadow of the past haunted me, where when I had a fever my father and mother accompanied me to sleep. There are times when I really want a whole family, just like I want it right now.

I looked blankly up at the ceiling of my room, there were many things that I had characterized from a happy family, but I also realized that destiny had determined the way, so what could I do?

Once upon a time, when I was a kid, I always asked why did mom and dad split up? He always replied that what we want is not always what we can get. So maybe the separation of father and mother is a lesson for father, mother and anyone who realizes it. I used to still not be able to accept but gradually I understood the meaning of all this. But it is not disbelieving if it can be selfish I want a whole family.

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The sky looks clean with a thin fog of opaque white coating, the roar of water water watering the earth. Making the cold morning even colder.

With the remaining energy, I lifted my study chair towards the window, I opened my window not too wide because the water would take shelter if I did.

The rain, the whirlpool that rained down upon the earth. Without feeling I tighten the jacket I wear when the cool wind hits. But instead of moving, I stretched my hand out the window.

I felt my hair bristling the first time the water flowing in front of my window soaked my hands, but over time I felt ordinary.

Maybe like this it feels like a wound, when you first feel it will change many things but if over time it will definitely return to how it was. So the thing to do right now is to wait and try to avoid making new cuts.

My beautiful sister has returned to the opposite island, because my sister-in-law's leave is over. So now back to live my father and me, usually on a Sunday morning like this my father will attend the routine activities of the fathers of housing. But today and especially today he did not attend, not because it was not raining but because he did not want to leave me alone.

Last night even my father accompanied me to sleep until almost morning, this is my habit when sick do not want to sleep at night.

"What are you doing there?" ask my dad who is well dressed and looks fresh in his face.

I smiled and pulled my hand out of the window.

My father approached me while stretching out a tissue to me, I picked it up and muttered a word of thanks. He sat back on the edge of my bed, I approached him and sat leaning on him.

"Well, don't you want to find a new mom for me?" I asked all of a sudden, for some reason that thought came to my mind at this moment. I saw my father's shocked face, but then he chuckled.

"Do you want a new mother?" he asked while taking me into his warm embrace. I nodded in agreement. For some reason, seeing the anxious face of the father who carried the face seemed to be getting older, and the father should have someone to look after and take care of. Not that I don't want to, but maybe it'll be different if the wife takes care of it, that's how I think.

"Why are you asking me that, hemm?" asked my father with a suspicious look, making me feel like I didn't know what to answer.

"Why? Hemmm," asked the father again, I immediately sat up straight while linking my two fingers, seeing that I was unable to answer and was depressed.

Dad saw my finger and then he took me back into his arms. Ah it feels very comfortable and able to eliminate worries.

"Dad had the intention to remarry, but I was afraid that my attention would be divided and you would feel hurt" said my father in a slow tone. So my guess is correct, actually two months ago when I came home from school I accidentally met a woman who came out of the house with red eyes. And then I asked my father who it was, he answered a friend.

"Are you going to leave when you get married?" askaku.

"No, of course not." My father answered quickly, I smiled at him.

"If you marry, you will be divided into your new family. Is Mutia okay?" I justify the words of father, unmarried father like this alone I am difficult to indulge especially if who will have a new family.

I remember my mother, she also built a new family but she still cares for me even though it is not completely. Will I be able if the father who has been my backrest also does that? But I don't want to be selfish, I'm old enough to stand alone on my footstool, so what else am I afraid of.

"Don't frown too deeply, you look old" my father told me of the hard performance of my brain.

"Don't think, if it's destined to get married, I'll get married" he said.

"I'm fine" I replied slowly,

"You're still not feeling well, are you sure it's okay?"

"That's not what I mean, Dad," I said spoiledly, I saw Dad raise one eyebrow.

Ah dad can also raise one eyebrow?

"What do you mean is okay?"

"I don't know if you're married" I replied slowly.

"You sure?" ask my father again with a seductive tone and look.

"Mutia was sure Dad," I answered steadily, I saw the disapproving look on my face.

"Dad, Mutia is big. Mutia was able to take care of herself and be independent. So I don't have to worry about Mutia. You know, you get older so you have to get married before no one wants to" I said softly, flirting.

"Why don't you do dad?" asked the sharp father but his lips smiled.

"Don't do daddy's shit, but no one wants to." I said affirming while giggling makes dad malotot.

"Hihihi.." I giggled.

"Well, you're doing, you want proof?" I nodded enthusiastically to make my father more anxious then he tickled me.

And that morning the first thing I did was get my own father married. And let the thing I've been avoiding the most all this time be father-sharing.

I think I'm an adult and I have to think not about myself but about the people around me. If I had strongly rejected Rifa's opinion about this, but different from now.

Maybe it's like this and I won't be able to avoid it.

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Is not happy is simple, smiling with a loved one is more than enough.

I've been providing enquiring services on this, uh even on private lines...

Ok lahh's... Maybe you need some privacy.

Someone asked please.

You can guess or criticize