Starting From Grey

Luka

I saw you with my two eyeballs.

I caress your shadow with my two hands.

Even though I ran to hide from your clutches.

Even though I avoided all your sharp glances.

Still is.

I'm caught up in your game of destiny.

I roared against all your shadows.

And I will always hide from you.

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I sat in my study chair. I opened my agenda book and picked up the ink in the drawer. I cradled as I started to get my black ink.

I look at you behind my closed eyes.

I call you in a shadowy roar in my silence.

I saw the cut in the look in your eyes.

Melt of blood flowed in every word you spoke.

I cry in my silence.

Wish you knew it would fill my heart.

Without feeling my tears dripping past my cheeks. I shut up and then deleted it. I remember every moment I spent with Hasan.

Ah, brother Hasan who is kind, kind and understanding. Is there something wrong with all this?

I just thought maybe we were wrong in interpreting this closeness. The kind-hearted brother Hasan is now transformed into the unrecognizable brother Hasan.

I fell silent in the shadowy daydream, because powerless with all this I got up from my seat and laid my body on my single bed.

I looked up at the ceiling of my room, thinking a lot about my decision to open a new life and open socialization so that I would not be labeled antisocial.

I re-think my closeness to a series of creatures called men. Starting from the beginning of my meeting with Mirza, starting my closeness with Bagas, when I had an argument with Dilan and lastly was to look at each other in my silence with Abi.

Ah, considering Abi I remembered the incident this morning, still reflected in my memory of the incident.

"Sir Hasan," called me kindly not heeding his question and cynical expression. I saw him raise one of his eyebrows and smile disdainfully.

"Lo dare call my name?"

"Heemm, why?" tanyaku plain.

"Don't pretend to be innocent" he said cynically.

"I really don't know what you mean by Brother."

"Don't look that innocent face of yours in front of me that won't have any effect." Brother Hasan said as he passed leaving many questions in my mind.

Hasan has changed. That is exactly what happened but I kept denying it all this time, and now can I still continue to deny it?

This is what I don't like about a relationship called ''FREANDZONE" because if it's not strong the heart will cause strife and hostility. I exhaled heavily and then turned my body back to step, but I paled my footsteps when I saw the two figures standing in front of me, now my mind was at war. Did they hear what I was talking about?

''Dla Brother Dilan.... Abi," I said softly as I looked around, there were only a few children who

passing.

Brother Dilan raised one eyebrow, while Abi just looked flat at me, I became misbehaved by looking at two people in front of me.

"Why?" ask Dilan with a suspicious tone.

"No papa, just surprised to see that my brother is here. Was it from earlier?"

"Do you know or want to know?" ask brother Dilan tease while raising his eyebrows.

"It's normal, and just want to know." I answered with a cry and threw away my face because somehow I felt my cheeks warm up because of the intense, even flat look from Abi who had not switched since.

"It was a while ago," Abi replied calmly, making me turn my head.

"Sometimes there are times when we say something to hurt someone by unknowingly. Or sometimes we also say something that hurts others aims to build self-defense to survive and stand up straight with the face looking up. So don't put all the other people's words in your heart." Abi said firmly and without taking my eyes off my two eyeballs. I was silent either because of his words or because of the sincere look in my eyes.

"Don't be easily provoked just because of a speech." Abi said again as he walked past me just like that. I fell silent digesting the remark, there was a hidden meaning behind it, but it seemed like my brain was still unable to digest.

"I really don't believe what I saw. But one thing is certain, that he is just trying to maintain his ego, maybe the guy is high ego. What's more, a Hasan who always gets what he expects so rejection is something that really hurts his self-esteem." Brother Dilan said in a serious tone, without waiting for my response he had already patted me on the shoulder and did the same with Abi-passing me.

I turned around and it turned out that Abi was still standing there waiting for his best friend, I frowned when I saw the soothing smile on his face.

Ah, that smile what does it mean?

Did I see it wrong?

Yes, I must have seen it wrong. I wasn't focused, I was just hallucinating. But it feels real.

Argggh....

I roll over my bed hugging my roll. Until without feeling all was dark and I forgot everything and was lulled into the melodious groove of the night that drove me into the subconscious.

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The sun radiates its heat, at exactly eight in the morning, but the heat has defeated the afternoon. I walked towards the mosque to take the translated Quran. It just so happened that my religious teacher told me to. I walked out of the mosque and approached Mira who was waiting.

"The Koran is broken" I said, sitting on the porch and putting my shoes back on.

"Well, how can you?" mira asked in surprise, I shrugged my shoulders indifferently.

How else do I not know about this.

"Lo's a KRI boy, look at the secretary." Mira found a solution, I did not answer I just nodded and started to step.

Just a few steps I stopped looking at a group of children my age who I myself do not know what class X, which I observed it looks like they just finished sports. It was visible from the shirt she was wearing on her shoulder.

And now just want to eat and drink while walking and littering. Ckck, something that infuriated me.

I paused and paused for a moment, I looked towards the cafeteria and then looked towards the five boys who were walking leisurely towards my right.

"You know them?" asked Mira who might be curious about my attitude which was just silent and looking indistinctly at them.

"I don't know" I replied as I picked up a pack of glass drinks and a used snake.

"What is lo?" mira asked while blocking my hand with the intention of preventing me from taking out the trash.

"I'm picking up trash" I said, taking Mira's hand off.

"Make what?" ask Mira lazily.

I stepped towards the trash can that was under the tree with a feeling of being coxed, not because I do not sincerely do it but because I am really concerned with those who know the impact of littering but do not do what should be.

I used to live in a city that was prone to flooding every rainy season and at that time, I was still in elementary school.

I'm pretty troubled, how don't I just stay with mom and all I have is wet. Although we did not have time to feel the name of living in refugee camps, it was also enough to use my soul and print myself to be like this against garbage and educated people but did not have the ability to dispose of garbage in the right place.

"Yuk," asked me after washing my hands in a faucet near the mosque.

"Why is it so ambitious about garbage?" ask Mira while walking hand in hand to the KRI secretaryate.

"I've felt the name is difficult because of garbage, and I don't want others to feel it" I replied slowly.

"What about you being a victim of that flood?" mira asked again as if to convince herself.

I have told my friends about the flood to coincide because there are organizations that ask for donations to classes for victims of natural disasters.

"Yes" I replied slowly.

"Gue take it, you wait here." Mira entered the KRI secretaryate, I wonder which member I why the one who entered even Mira. I just shake my head with a smile.

"Lo's not welcome, is it?" asked a voice coming from my left and there by the door of XII IPA 1 stood a Hasan.

Why meet again. I'm still not mentally prepared to listen to his harsh words.

You must be confused why there is a brother Hasan, I forgot a fact that in front of IPA 1 is IPA2 and KRI secretary is next to class XII-IPA1.

"No brother," I answered softly not daring to look at me bowing my head, but it had been a while but he never let out a sound again, he said, when I looked up, there was no one in that place.

I looked around, but I didn't see anyone either, so I felt someone pat me on the shoulder,

"Who are you looking for?" ask Mira.

"Nothing, come back." Mira nodded and returned to class. We walked together but no sound came out of our lips.

I saw Mira who smiled to herself, there was actually a curiosity in the bottom of my heart but I held her back, not because I did not care but rather did not want to disturb privacy.

"Assalamualaikum," I said as I knocked on the classroom door.

"Waalaikumsalam," answered simultaneously from the classroom, Mira and I walked towards Suryadi's sister who seemed to be waiting for us.

"This is the Koran" said Mira, putting the Quran on the table.

"Why so long?" ask Sur sir, that's how we called.

"So we went to the mosque but there was nothing so we took the initiative to borrow from the KRI secretary." I answered politely, then we were told to sit down.

I sat down and sighed, this is the risk of sitting in front of the teacher often telling this.

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"Next week of the first semester exam, you've paid off administration yet?" madina asked as we ate in class. We brought food into class.

"I did," I replied casually as I bit my toast.

"Lo Er, Mir?" madina asked facing towards the two people alternately.

"Well, why?" ask Mira and Erly together.

"Gue wants to know if we're classmates or not." Madina replied in a cute manner and went back to eating her yellow rice.

"Holiday to where?" asked Erly to switch the conversation. That's Erly, the girl with a million discussions. There is aja he made the subject, sometimes I wonder himself he got the idea from where.

"Lo it's a test just haven't been a holiday just yet" said Mira in a mocking tone.

"Don't tell me you haven't planned it yet I'm sure you have," Erly replied in disbelief.

"Yes that way, I want to participate in children's activities is good for PDKT." Mira said casually and with a big smile.

"Ye, remember Hasan's brother was gone, where maybe doi follow the LDK." Madina said mockingly.

"Ah lo that ruined the atmosphere of know, do not know that I was just twinkling again."

"But there really is lo, Mir." Erly denied confirming Madina's argument.

"Yes yes too" Mira replied in a weak tone.

"Yes, if you know to be a guest star, it is not new if seniors are present even sometimes alumi is also present, right" I said without realizing it. Haaah.... Why can't my mouth be braked anyway, why even interfere.

"Waaah, thank you Mutia. You are a giver of spirit," said Mira as she hugged my body excitedly.

"So you're going to join the LDK?" madina asked reassuringly and I saw Mira nodding excitedly.

"What, you guys aren't coming?" asked Mira fiercely.

"Gue same Erly join dong, yes not Er."

"Yes dong, cook the current child does not come," replied Erly proud of himself.

I pounced on my forehead, then I chuckled at it and then my three best friends turned to me.

"Why?" I was surprised to see his expression.

"Lo will come too, right?" madina asked quietly as if afraid to offend me. I smiled and shook my head.

"Why?" asked Mira and I saw the other person.

"I'm going to my mom's house. You know I have two houses, besides I'm not interested in joining." I said calmly, I saw them sigh slowly.

"Why the hell do you have to go home to your mother's?" asked Erly in a doldrums.

"She misses her mother too" said Madina.

"Hehehe.... Yes, too" answered Erly slowly.

"LDK is 3 days before the holidays are over, right?" ask Mira.

"Yes" replied Madina.

"Lo couldn't go back before we had two weeks off" Mira looked at me expectantly.

"Sorry but I can't, I bought my mother a ticket two days before I went back here." I answered with an unpleasant face.

But it's true that I don't want to join the LDK even if I have time, so when my mom asks me to visit I'm happy to do it.

"God, it doesn't matter that he doesn't come along don't burden Mutia dong's mind," said Madina mediate, I smiled.

"But don't forget the souvenirs, yes" Erly said with a grin.

"God willing," I replied calmly as I carried the trash that had been put in a black plastic bag to the trash can in front of the class.

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