RANIA 'God's Destiny Makes Me Cry In Pelaminan'

North square of Yogya

That night after entering the room, I did absolutely nothing but think about what was really going on between Farhan and Zahra. Even Via who was trying to ask me was completely ignored, because I was wondering, what is it?

I did not contact Mas Farhan at all, because I knew that Mas Farhan was not being disturbed. The proof that he usually always SMS when he got home, that night he did not tell me at all, even I waited for his SMS until two at night. But it won't come.

***********

In the morning I did my usual activities. Clean the room, clean it, and so on. I did as many things as I could, so that my mind would not always be on Mas Farhan. I don't want to think too much about it, because it will make me uncomfortable on my own later.

That afternoon after my lecture was over, I didn't go home right away. I sat for a while in the campus garden re-imagining what had happened the night before.

Is it possible that Zahra is the woman whose picture was once in Mas Farhan's purse? If so, it means he who was once a taste that stopped in the heart of Mas Farhan. A taste that once disappeared, and now she's back? What then? I how? I should what? If later it turns out Mas Farhan returned to him I have to how is ALLAH? I realized that I was nobody, Mas Farhan. I'm just a woman who walks together, feels comfortable, and doesn't want to lose her. While status? I have not had any status. What right do I have to be jealous? What right do I have to ask? Ah, my mind's fucked.

It was the first time I felt like crying when I thought of Mas Farhan. Usually anything about Mas Farhan always makes me smile. But this other time, I'm afraid, I'm confused.

Oh Rania, just yesterday you got a gift that makes you so happy. But today everything changed, the happiness faded instantly because of the figure of Zahra.

I felt my cheeks hot, and there were tears that suddenly flowed in the corner of my eyes, and I tried to wipe them, rubbed my face with my hands, and covered my entire face.

“Astagfirullah," I said softly.

“Ran, are you all right?” via surprise.

“Oh, Via. Yes, I am not papa.” I said while trying to hide my tears.

“You cry?” Ask her.

“Ah, no. Flip it," I replied briefly.

“If you want to lie do not be the same I Ran,” he said while sitting next to me.

“Tenan Vi, I ndak papa,” I said again.

“No way you don't papa, I know what you think, about Zahra and Mas Farhan right? mending you ask first with Mas Farhan directly Ran. Let it be clear, so you are not as cool as your own thoughts. Semalem I miss Zahra via sms.”

“Hah? Continues to? What does Zahra say?” manya curious.

Via did not immediately reply, he twisted his body so that it faced me.

“Mas Farhan and Zahra had a relationship before, about two years ago. But it ran aground because Zahra had to move to Bogor and live with her budhe, and when Zahra wanted to say goodbye, she came to Mas Farhan's house. But did not meet Mas Farhan, he met Mas Farhan's mother and finally he said to Mother Mas Farhan, and his mother said that if he could after moving to Bogor do not need to contact Mas Farhan again. So that's why he didn't contact Mas Farhan at all anymore. His old HP number was immediately discarded so that Mas Farhan could not contact him anymore,” explained Via at length.

“Hah? How can I not relate anymore, the reason?” my many.

“Well if Zahra doesn't explain. He's just telling the story that wasn't told just now. Therefore mbok mending you directly the same Mas Farhan, if from Mas Farhan how the story. Let it be clear that Ran, and all ask about the direction of your relationship how it wants. Even though you and Zahra are both my best friends, but I'm not willing to let your grandmother finally get knocked out because Zahra is back again. That's not fair to you, after all for almost a year you have filled the days of Mas Farhan, and I've seen since then you are happy,” cerocosnya.

“No ah Vi, I will not, I will wait for Mas Farhan to tell me himself. If he's ready and he thinks of me, he'll definitely find me and tell me everything the same,”.

“Yowes if so, you do not feel sad anymore, we just wait,” he said while hugging me.

“Still Yes Vi, already nenangin me,” my word.

“ho oh, let's go home to kos,” take him.

*******

Three days passed, and Farhan had not contacted me. To be honest I was worried, I was wondering where he was, what happened to him.

Ah mas Farhan, where are you? you're all right? do you not want me at all? Don't want to ignore me? How does this affect Zahra's presence?

*********

Sunday has arrived. Usually every quiet Sunday like this Mas Farhan always nemenin me by phone, sometimes also occasionally he to the boarding to just chat. They usually take me for a walk. Because as usual, all the boarding house go home to their respective villages, including Via.

Instead of going, I finally turned on my radio. Listen to the show send greetings and song requests. One of my favorite shows. Because usually many love songs are good in other listeners' requests.

A while later it somehow occurred to me to send a greeting and request a song for Mas Farhan, and I did it in doubt.

“Oke next, there is another SMS from RANIA. Hail: Mas Farhan, wherever you are, I hope you are well. If you are ready to share your story, let me know. Songs requested ‘I fell in love’ from Roulette. Okay soon we will love the song Rania, next.” The broadcaster read me an SMS.

I really wish Mas Farhan had heard of it. Although I don't know if Mas Farhan is home and listening to the radio or not. What matters is that I tried it.

After several other songs played, the time came for the song I requested to play, for some reason I suddenly cried hearing it. Ah Rania, what's wrong with you? How do you feel about Mas Farhan? Even you yourself do not know how Mas Farhan himself feels.

It was a very long week in my opinion, I wanted to pass as soon as possible, because the atmosphere of the quiet cost and my mood was too uncomfortable.

Around 15:00 while reading a comic to entertain myself suddenly I heard a knock on the door.

Who comes in these weeks, I don't think I made a deal with anyone. Could it be one of the friends of the other kid?

I went out of the room and went to the front door.

I did not expect, it turned out that the one who came was Mas Farhan and instantly my heart was pounding unusual.

“Busy no deck?” tanyakanya.

“Hah? No,” I answered briefly because I was still surprised to see it suddenly in front of me. My heart can no longer control.

“Out yuk,” take him.

“Where?”

“Jalan aja.”

“Oke briefly I change clothes first,” I also passed into my room

He's a great hobby like this, no wind no rain suddenly give something. No news, nothing, nongol. I like to shock me. She didn't know that she liked suddenly appearing so nervous, pounding, and no idea what else. Anyway, so surprised!

***********

“I'm sorry, ignored you these few days,” he said starting a chat.

“Oh, no papa mas, I understand,” answered me while hiding my heartbreak.

“Zahra was the one I told you about back then, whose picture you saw in my wallet," he said to the point.

“Iya, I know,” I replied while slightly lowering my head.

“Tau from Via huh? She's a friend of Via ya?” Ask her.

I just nodded, and turned my back on him. At that time, we were just standing near the bike.

“He's the feeling that once lay in my heart. Then just leave, without any message. No strings attached and anything else. He made me look and wait, to this day I never even know the reason. That's why when I saw him yesterday at your boarding house, I didn't say anything and just left. I still feel a little pain rippling in my heart because he used to leave. Then now he is in Yogya again and not telling me at all,” he said at length.

I just kept quiet and listened to his explanation. I finally found out that Mas Farhan didn't know about his mother's ban on Zahra, and I wasn't going to say anything until he finished it, that was my plan at the time.

“Some days I neutralized my feelings, I know you must be wondering about all this. But I need a calm heart to explain it, and today I have calmed down. That's why I came to you to explain,” she said with a smile and tilted her head slightly to look at me closer.

I smiled at her attitude, and again I tried to hide my heart that was pounding because of that smile. That smile always makes me feel wrong.

“Your feelings for him are still as strong as ever?” ask me without a stale base.

He did not answer directly. He looked me in the eye, looked at my face, and I could feel it. It makes me even more wrong half-crazy!

“Ngak,” the answer is short.

That short? Ah, I don't believe it. No matter what, the right person to meet immediately went away, and it took days to neutralize feelings. So it can't be. There must be some feelings, just that he doesn't want to be honest with me.

“Then what is Farhan's plan? Want to see her again? To ask for an explanation of his passing first? Or is there another plan?” ask me without frisk.

“So please, I have no plans whatsoever about that,” he replied.

There were actually many things I wanted to ask, but I held back, to be honest I wasn't ready to hear an answer that would make my heart ache. Yeah, I'm scared. I don't know what the other women out there would do or think if I was in my position. Will it be the same as me? Choose to hold his feelings and hide them, or will you immediately ask for an explanation and ask for certainty right then and there? I don't know, the obvious choice I had at the time was to hold back everything that was churning in my heart.

Finally, Mas Farhan turned the conversation to something else. Although I had also provoked him a little by saying that I had met Zahra at the Mall before, I said that Zahra was beautiful, ayu, sweet, her face was soft typical of Javanese women. But Mas Farhan did not want to continue the discussion about Zahra at that time.

Maghrib arrived, and he invited me to pray at the Gedhe Kauman Mosque in the North Square complex. Pretty magnificent mosque in my opinion. With typical Javanese buildings, carvings and interior design is very historic. Even to this day, the mosque is the most historic place in my life. The mosque that still often reminds me of his figure. Mas Farhan's.

After the prayer, we returned to the place, but this time moved to the middle of the Square, right opposite the palace building. As the night grew, the place grew more crowded, many people were probably just like us. Love to chat there, because even though we have a lot of privacy chat we are still awake. Due to the considerable distance between each other.

“You drink? I buyin ya.” Mas Farhan offered to me.

“Bby, if there is mineral water only,” I replied.

“OK, briefly yes.” He also passed.

Rania, even if she doesn't want to explain her feelings for Zahra to you, but you have to be ready for anything that could happen. If one day he leaves you and returns to Zahra, you must be strong. Because after all you have no rights over him, you do not have any status with him. So prepare your heart from now on. Before everything goes too deep.

“This is the drinking deck,” said Mas Farhan disperse my daydreams.

“oh, thanks mas.”

“What daydream?” ask her.

“Ah no, no,” answered ngeles.

“if not wrong this afternoon someone sent greetings and songs on the radio to me,” he said with a smile and looked into my eyes.

Hello, Rania! He was horrified. Where's her song ‘I fell in love’ anyway. Shame on you? Not shy?

“Oh, yes? yes, that was a prank. SMS or phone calls are not good. So yes via radio even though not sure what the listener is not,” answered me as usual while hiding red on my face.

“Denger, the song is also good, fall in love huh?” his god tilted his head, and that face felt so close to mine.

I could only smile embarrassedly, I could feel my face hot and seemed to be getting redder. My heart? Don't ask, it's been a dugeman.

“Since when?” ask her again.

“What?” many confused.

“Fall in love with the same song that was sent,” he said with a smile and kept looking into my eyes.

“Oh, I don't know since when, but so far still,” I replied desperate. Although I was actually embarrassed and it felt like my heart really wanted to jump out at that time.

“Why can fall in love?” ask her again.

Should he be so? He didn't know I was confused by his questions.

“No idea, feels at heart. Even though I really don't know, whether the person I sent the song to had the same feeling or not to me. Yes, if not, papa I backed down,” my answer is more and more evaporating everything. I don't know if I'm relieved after saying that. Although it's actually a heavy cukuo thing for me. Because I've never said anything like that before.

“Don't back down, keep going, because he feels the same,” he said with a smile and held my right hand.

Raniaa, woy Raniaa!

Oh My God Rania, what dream are you Ran? What dreams? Don't jump Ran. Don't Ran, rame! This public place, your feet please be conditioned.

“So I mean Mas Farhan, Mas also have the same feeling as Rania felt? Then that means this relationship?” my question is getting blunt to get a certainty again.

“Whatever the name of the relationship status, which is clear from now on you have the right to be jealous. You have the right to ask me anything. You have the right to forbid me from doing something you don't think I should do" she replied, holding both hands and smiling.

Hello, Rania! Your heart Ran. Kalem Ran, calm down! At that moment, my heart felt so excited. Even the face I showed was ordinary. But this heart and heart are very unusual. I could no longer describe what I was feeling at the time, and I made sure only he could make me feel it.

We spent the night together until 22:00. It was the most beautiful night of all the other nights I had with Mas Farhan.

Seriate....