RANIA 'God's Destiny Makes Me Cry In Pelaminan'
The Ancient Volcano Ngelanggeran
"Men, am I in?" Via called me from the outside.
"Come on Vi, no key." I replied.
"Piye how you doing?" he asked while sitting next to me who was still lying down.
"Sudah mengingan, not dizzy anymore, but still a bit lemes." I replied.
"Semalem mas Farhan SMS me, just your situation, and what is it with you."
"What do you need to answer?" much
"I answer if I can't explain anything, so you'll talk to him yourself if you get better."
"Hmmm, I don't know Vi, can't tell him about this, I'm afraid he's sad, just that he's cool because his mother can accept our relationship. There's more." I said.
"You didn't think about this before? If you think about it, you can convince your father first, then the others, maybe another story."
"Okay, but obviously I never thought of Bima ever appearing again. Because if he doesn't show up again, my father will have no comparison to Vi." I replied in sadness.
"It seems that it is Ran's destiny, just how do you keep it running, strong no, if strong can be this problem is also finished, and you can be the same mas Farhan" he said to strengthen me.
"But so far I have never been able to oppose my father Vi." I replied while wiping away the tears that started to flow again.
"Yo wes, you try to obrolin this problem to Farhan mas, who knows he has a solution, do not you pendem yourself, you may be stressed he is worried about kasian." he suggested to me.
"InshaAllah Vi, later if I have recovered I will try to talk to Farhan" I said.
"Yaudah, I'm going to college for a while, you take a break, if you need any SMS" he said.
"Thank you" I replied smiling.
Good thing I have Via, a friend who is always there under any circumstances.
That afternoon Via came home from college and brought me some food, and I tried to eat it, even though it was bitter, but I didn't want to get sick. I don't want Farhan to see me like this.
After eating I took a shower, I finished the bath I felt my head a little lighter, and my body felt fresher.
In the afternoon while continuing to rest, my phone suddenly shook. And that's SMS from Bima.
"Ran, isn't it at cost?" ask her.
"Why?"
"I want to stop by" he said.
I really want to meet Bima, I want to ask her what exactly she talked to Dad, until I praised her so much. And I decided to let him come.
15 Minutes later Bima came and waited for me on the terrace, I went outside.
"Pucet kok?" ask when I see him.
"At least feel good." I replied.
"Jaudah rest awhile, I'll go home" he said.
"Mas Bima, to be honest with Rania yes, but Bima said what is the same father?" ask me to the point.
"By what? I did not say anything, at that time I just called for news and said that the business I dreamed of had started to wake up even though it was just the beginning, why?" ask her.
"What are your intentions?"
"What intention? I don't understand."
"Mas Bima, don't you already know that I don't have feelings for you anymore? Don't you know that I'm the same Farhan now? Not that you know yes if you talk about your efforts, I must be very proud of you and finally I don't want to know about my feelings?" I bombarded him with all the questions I had saved from yesterday.
"Ran, I'm just telling you the truth, if your father ends up being proud of me, it's out of my control. And one more thing, as long as the qobul ijab has not been spoken, anything can happen" he said confidently.
"So you mean? You expect me to finish with Farhan and go back with you? And if I don't want you to ask Dad for help? Because you know I'm obeying you like that?" many emotions.
"Ran, my love for you hasn't changed in the past, I'm trying to make my dreams come true so that they can be worthy of you" he said, staring into my eyes.
"Thank you for the love, but my love is not there for you."
"I'll wait." she replied.
"If you love me, please tell me, you will have no meaning to marry me, tell me the same father if the soul mate is God arranged, please, just tell dad that let my feelings flow and let me make the choice" I said grumpily.
"OK I'll say, but you should know, I'm still waiting. And you yourself are the one who said, a soul mate in the hands of God, so you do not have to worry donk, if it is your soul mate Farhan, it will happen anyway." Said relaxed.
"Yes right, but as long as you're still carrying me around in this, the process I'm going through is painful, because what? Because I will continue to compare Farhan with you. And I don't like that."
"We've been dating for two years, during the courtship I always tried to be the best for you, okay I was wrong because I was too chasing my dreams, until I ignored you, she said, but all those dreams I've achieved are for you."
"But you never said that at all before, when you left you did? One thing you need to know is that love carves smiles, not wounds." I said emotionally.
"I came home first, I'm sorry for what I did, which made you sad, maybe I was wrong, and I'm really sorry for all that." he said and then left.
There is a sense of relief in the heart because at least Bima knows that what she does, it makes me not like. It's true that the soul mate is God who arranged, but to live it I want a peaceful path, not this one, I can at least if I have to oppose father, father, I can't at least if you're angry, it hurts so much. Want to fight is impossible, not in the opponent who does not feel the same all.
"Sabaaaar Rania, Sabaaaar, there are many out there whose life trials are more severe, your trials are nothing, there are many people out there who actually separate in a more painful way." I said trying to strengthen my heart.
Afternoon around 17:00 am Farhan SMS, he asked me how I was doing, he asked me if I could see me, but I refused, because I think I should really recover first, at least my heart was calm first, but I refused, then I was ready to meet him, and he understood that.
Three days passed, and I had completely recovered, I was on my way as usual. I went back to college and smiled again.
I don't want to be too dizzy with Dad's words, not because I want to be an ungodly child, but I don't want to make myself stressed with it, all there is now is to live, but, regarding the final outcome and decision, let Allah decide.
14:00 I went home to the boarding house, and I indulged myself in my room, listening to my favorite songs while reading comics.
"Rameeeeeen." cried Via as he ran into my room which I did not lock.
"Hey, it's surprising to me, so happy like, what's wrong?" my many.
"This is the thing I least expected in my life, and it's the thing I've been waiting for the most in my silence ever" she said, jumping up and down.
"What's? Finish's thesis?" my many.
"Not." she replied with a smile.
"Transferants from ortu in excess of 50%." I asked.
"Iiiissssshh dudu yoo." replied the manyun.
"Keep whataa?" I was curious as I moved out of my bed.
"Mas Iwan shot me loh meeeeen" he replied, shaking both shoulders.
"Huh? Seriously?" many ensure.
"Ten rius" he answered.
"And I'm the same mas Iwan want to invite you to go with Farhan to celebrate this, PJ raaan PJ" he said.
"OK, when?" my many.
"Tomorrow, tomorrow afternoon at 15:00?" ask her.
"I can, I don't know if Farhan" I replied.
"I'll ask him again" said Via.
"Have, congratulations, my best friend." I said as I hugged him.
When Via came out of my room, I suddenly immediately remembered the problem I was facing in my relationship with Farhan.
"What should I do so that I can receive Farhan's mas, how can I get to know Farhan's mas only once, so that I can get to know Farhan's mas, how do I explain to my father that I can be happy with Farhan mas though the work of Farhan mas ordinary course, how do I know that I do not glorify love alone, but only love, but I know that Mas Farhan will definitely be responsible for all my needs later, aaaaaggghhhh Raniaaaaa, why there should be such a thing in your life." I murmured in my heart while occasionally pressing my head that felt full.
The next day Via told me, if it turns out mas Iwan suddenly there was a sudden meeting with the children of nature lovers. So the streets are changed on Saturday and that's from the morning he said. I just say yes, it was their day, theirs.
From the incident I was sick until Friday I had not met at all with Farhan mas, because incidentally Farhan was installing a computer for the lab at one of the campuses in Yogya. And I don't want to disturb him.
That Saturday came, already from the morning Via scorching told me to prepare, he said when the men came, we were ready. Seeing the happiness of Via, I was also happy and also prepared for our trip that day.
"Meeen, you're in front of me, not ready yet?" ask Via from outside my room.
"Udah, keep me out" I replied.
"Weeee since when do you have a yellow shirt? Gini is bright cheerful, ora mung ireng, gray, brown, bosen I le nyawang, you are white, so PD aja make colorful." her cerocos.
Yes, this yellow shirt was given by my mother when I came home to Sumatra yesterday, because the model is good, yes I have received. I don't know why I wanted to wear it that day.
"It's cheerful again Raniaku" said Mas Farhan when he saw me.
"Udah, it was my joy that transmitted it, tsaaaah" said Via while nudging me.
"Alhamdulillah mas." answered me with a smile.
"Yo, gek ndang, the cloud" said mas Iwan.
"Where are we going?" my many.
"The Ancient Fire Mountain of Nglanggeran." replied mas Iwan.
"Away?" my many.
"Lumayan" said Via.
"I didn't bring anything, Via didn't say I wanted to go there" I said.
"I brought it." said Farhan smiling.
And we started that journey. Somehow I felt awkward during the trip, like the first time I met Mas Farhan, to hold his waist even I felt awkward.
But when there was a red light and long enough, Farhan pulled into my two hands and wrapped it around his waist.
"Hand hold ya" he said.
Smelling her own distinctive fragrance in the jacket she was wearing, and making me feel comfortable at once, instead of pulling my hand out of awkwardness, I hugged her tighter.
And as usual, his left hand continued to hold both of my hands, as if he was unwilling to let go.
We finally arrived at the location in question. The Ancient Fire Mountain Ngelanggeran. Incredibly beautiful scenery in my opinion, some huge towering rocks surrounding the location, I could somehow describe it, but clearly the place was beautiful and splendid. And again, it was my first time there.
Mas Iwan also took us up the path to go to one of the rock hills there, the motorbike parked below.
It turned out that the view from the top of the rock hill was much more beautiful.
Mas Iwan and Via were busy taking pictures, while Farhan and I were looking for a comfortable place to sit and enjoy the view.
"Are you ready for the story?" tanya mas Farhan started the conversation.
I didn't answer him right away, I turned to him who was sitting right next to me.
"Oh my God, I miss him so much" I said in my heart, looking into his eyes.
"Yes kangen?" her question surprised me.
And I smile too.
"I don't know where to start, I'm confused" I said.
"All I can do is try to understand" he said with a smile.
"My father does not agree with our relationship, and all that is because Bima, from the first father did like Bima, especially with his ideals to become a self-employed person. I feel that Bima is like my father, I think that a marriage can still go well, even though love is not there in the beginning, dad thinks Bima is the most appropriate person and can make me happy, dad once told me that the marriage of father and mother without courtship, without love, but slowly it all grew by itself. And I'm sure that I can also do the same thing, with Bima." I explained at length.
"Then?" ask me Farhan.
"I try to give understanding to father, that I can't be like that, I ask father to know you first, I ask father to meet you first even once, even if only once, I want you to know what kind of person you are, I want you to know about your sincerity." I said.
And without me noticing, my tears were flowing again, slowly wetting my cheeks.
Mas Farhan changed his sitting position so that he could face me. He wiped my tears slowly.
"Don't cry, because your crying makes my heart cry" she said, holding my hand.
"I'm afraid, I'm afraid I can't make you melt, I used to think about how to melt your mother's heart, without me realizing that there was something bigger than that, my father." I said as I lowered my head holding tightness in my chest.
Mas Farhan stood up and pulled my right hand, I stood up, and was astonished by his attitude.
When we stood up, I was shocked because I pulled my shoulders closer to him, until I was jolted by his shocking pull. She hugged me. Really hugged me. Without saying anything.
I returned the hug, and again I cried. I let go of all my cries, I could feel as if he wanted me to put them all out, all the feelings that were in my heart at the time, fear, sadness, pain, confusion, and longing.
As I felt my crying start to subside a little, she let go of her embrace, she wiped away the tears that had somehow melted down my cheeks.
"Look?" he asked while putting both hands on my cheeks.
"Little." I answered while being sad.
"Don't be afraid, leave it all to the Giver of Flavor, to Him who meets us, to Him who sets this story, to Him who has predestined all this."
"But I'm afraid, I'm afraid his scenario is different to my expectations" I said.
"Trust me, whatever the outcome may be, it is the best thing that He has determined for us, because it is good for us, not necessarily good for Him. But good for Him, must be good for us, sometimes not all the things we want we can get, but whatever we get, it means is the best according to Him, as long as I can, as long as I can, I'll still be here with you, but if there's a time when we should part ways, I'm asking you Rania ainun sofia, don't blame the fate of the LORD once in a while, because I don't want to be the reason you blame fate." he said at length.
And that was the first time I saw Farhan's eyes glazed over.
"Astagfirullah, be patient Rania, strengthen your heart."
