RANIA 'God's Destiny Makes Me Cry In Pelaminan'
Ratu Boko Temple
"I can't forget
Beautiful moments with you
All stories
Maybe now there are only memories
I have to go
Leaving you in my lap
Not want me
I hurt your feelings
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Who cannot wait for your heart
Forget it
Myself for ever
I have to go
Leaving you in my lap
Not want me
I hurt your feelings
I'm sorry
Sleep, my dear
The mentari is waiting
Greet me in the morning
Dream of love
With all the flavor
Now is the time
We have to split up"
The lyrics of the song 'Pardon' from Enda Purple echoed in my room.
This time it's not the radio I heard, it's winamp. There was only one song on my playlist, and it spun it over and over again.
It's like the song represents my feelings being upset. The words of Farhan a few days ago at the top of Suroloyo still ring in my head.
It was when I had a relationship with a man named Bima, and finally broke up. I seem to be ordinary. When he had to break up without a word, because he left without saying goodbye. I was just crying. I am sad because I am not considered by him. But why now when with Mas Farhan, even just got the certainty, even it has been as sick as this yes. I was confused how to describe how I felt at the time.
Ah, I don't know. I better not think about it too much. Gratitude, no soul mate already. My heart is that comfortable.
Suddenly my HP ringtone rang.
"Dec, what else?" it was a message from Mas Farhan.
"Not anything else, relax again, while listening to the song," I replied.
"What song? On radio?"
"No, in winamp. Song 'forgive' from Enda Purple."
"Well, by the way, what's the script? Smoothly?" ask her.
"Lumayan, alhamdulillah, nanya nanya skirksiku hehe."
"What are your plans after you finish your thesis and graduate?" tanyakanya.
"Yes, if my plan is, I want to work. But it certainly can not be directly dapet, definitely need a process."
"here? In Yogya?"
"My client is here, I hope he gets it here. But if my mom wants it, I go back to Sumatra and find a job there. Why Mas? How'd it go there?" manya curious. Because all this time he rarely asked about this.
"If you go to Sumatra, and work there. Means our relationship is only until you graduate?" ask her while tucking in a smile emote.
"Yes can LDR, if I miss I can go to Yogya. But I do not want if you are going to Sumatra, yes, later stray. You don't know Sumatra," I joked.
"But if you can hope, I want you to stay. In Yogya," he replied.
"InshaaAllah, doain aja mas. By the way, this from earlier is like this why? It was not answered."
"No papa, just want to know," he replied briefly.
"Oh yeah, by the way Sunday so pick me up? He said he wanted to take me somewhere, would he?" ask me to switch the conversation.
"So, I picked it up at 10:00." Yeah."
"Okay, ready, I'm gonna go get some lunch. Later on," I said, ending the conversation.
Yes, I've started to cut down on SMS or phone chats. I have also started to get my heart used to not cultivating too much flavor for Mas Farhan.
I don't know, but it doesn't feel like this relationship is going far. Mas Farhan's mother's words about the woman of choice were enough to make me not expect much of this relationship. If what I'm dealing with is another woman, maybe I can. If it is a mother's choice. Ah, I can't feel it.
**********
The awaited Sunday arrived. I don't know why today I chose to wear a long-sleeved grey shirt, and black jeans. Like people mourning. All my clothes and pants are dark. Mas Farhan was already waiting for me on the terrace back then.
"Are you ready?" asked Mas Farhan when I came out and met him.
"Well, where are we going today? Hopefully not the beach, because my costume is not right for the beach" I said with a smile.
"No, not to the beach this time. No way," he asked.
We also left the room.
As usual, there was no chatter along the way. Arriving at a red light suddenly Mas Farhan's left hand held my hand which from earlier held onto his waist.
Aih, not ordinary. The feeling of getting here one by one to the romantic is increasingly visible. Did he really think I was his girlfriend? For what sake, it was one of the simplest things that ever made my heart sink, and I still remember it to this day.
The motor is back on. It was a long journey, and again I did not know where it was headed.
I finally got to a place I had never been.
"Where is this?" I asked while in the motor park.
"Queen Boko Temple" he replied.
"Rame yeah, where's the candle?" my many.
"Above, yuk," he answered briefly.
We also climbed the stairs. It doesn't seem too tall, and it's wide enough. So I'm not too exhausted.
After I got to the top, I saw a field of grass that was green and vast. There are some stones like the rest of the ruins of the temple building. It seemed like that was the candle, and in the middle was a stone array shaped like a gate. There is also a large tree that is so shady, under it is also provided a wooden bench for the rest of the visitors.
The place was beautiful, and adem. Although many do not look full because it is very broad.
"Kesana yuk," Mas Farhan asked as he pointed to one of the wooden benches under the big tree.
"Like the same place?" tanyakanya.
"Like, adem, a lot of people but it feels quiet."
"Never been here, right?" tanyakanya.
"Obviously not yet" I replied with a small laugh.
"The temple that has ever been adek to come to the temple where have you been here?" ask her.
"Prambanan, Borobudur. That's it" I replied.
"Indeed a very home-based child, it means my task is still a lot," he said with a smile.
"Oh, so your job is just to take me for a walk to the tourist attractions Yogya well?" askaju kidding.
"While this is yes, I don't know. There may be other tasks," he replied while looking at me.
"What?" my many.
"Make it possible" he replied with a smile.
Alamak Rania's! Just sat down, you've made it float again. How do you want to try to make your feelings to him not too deep? It's hard Ran, it's hard! Every word he says will be stuck in your ear. Simple but unusual short words.
"Hey, dumb again. Think what?" the tanyanya surprised me.
"No papa, this is it. I like to make Rania wrong," I replied shyly.
"Nih drink, let's not get me wrong again," he said while giving a bottle of mineral water from his backpack.
"Emang always bring gini provisions if where?" my many.
"Not really, but if you go the same way, yes" he replied.
"Why?" my many.
"Because I know you get dizzy when traveling long distances. So as much as possible I should bring drink, medicine, eucalyptus oil."
"Oh, my girlfriend's attention, really," I teased her.
He just smiled too. Yeah, she never called me that she was ready. But he also did not forbid me to call it and introduce him as my girlfriend to some boarding friends.
Whatever it is, obviously our relationship is much more bonded than it used to be.
"Sir, this year I'm 30 years old" he said.
"Oh yes.May 17th tomorrow well, three more months" I said.
"Yes, it's like it's time to get married."
I was drinking until I choked on hearing his words.
"Huh? How's it?" ask me to confirm what I just heard.
"Yes, it seems like I'm fit to get married" she said once again, looking closer at me.
"Oh, yes it fits. Also established. Work is good, age is mature." I really did make it at that time. Because I don't know what to say, so I answer that.
"The one in front of me is also about to finish college, right?" ask her.
"Huh? Me?"
"Yes, Deck Rania. The one in front of me right now is you, and the one in my heart is also you" he replied with a smile.
For what? My heart is beating badly. It feels wrong. It seems like my heartbeat is sounding out.
"So what do you mean?" I try as often as possible.
"Say that if I take this relationship in a more serious direction, Dek Rania is ready?"
How does this mean? What does this mean? I was proposed to? Huh huh? Astagah Rania selow. Don't be so drunk can you? Relax Ran, relax. Astagfirullah.
"When you're ready? If not ready?" I asked back.
"What's the name?" he smiled as if he knew I was nervous at the time.
"Well, I'll finish next year. If I answer ready, yes actually not ready. My script is only chapter one, and my order doesn't know about you yet. Then if for example I answer not ready, you will leave me," my story.
He laughed and stroked my head slowly.
"I'm new to the deck, it doesn't mean that I have to be immediately, it's one of the things that makes me like you. You're panicked, easily confused, easily nervous, and that's funny to me."
"Maaasss, I know what she thinks. You made me flutter," I said, pinching his arm.
"That's too bad, what if I'm serious about it?" he said while laughing.
"Oh, wasn't that serious?" ask me while breathing.
"The serious part is that I feel like I'm the right age to get married" she said. This time with a very serious face.
"His part?" my many.
"There really isn't, but I can see that you're not ready. It's okay, I'll wait until your college is over."
"How was that time?" my many.
"Women of your mother's choice."
"I don't think about it, I want to focus on fighting for you first" he said, looking into my eyes.
"If your mother doesn't agree how? Am I gonna get knocked out?"
"Let me settle them one by one, help me with prayer" he said, holding both hands.
I know he can feel my worries about his mother's words.
Without feeling it was already 15:00, and I also took him home. After we circled the Ratu Boko Temple complex while talking about many things. Talking to Mas Farhan can make me forget about time. Want as long as it is, want along whatever path we pass. That fatigue will never be felt. Believe it or not, that's how I felt when I was with him.
On the way home he didn't say anything at all, but I was astonished by the road we were on, unlike the road we were on.
Oh, maybe there's a way next time. A path that could make us arrive sooner maybe.
But I was more astonished when entering a village road, left right of the road was a beautiful rice field that spread wide and beautiful. There are several houses, and accidentally read by me 'Sumberharjo, prambanan.'
"Mas, where are we going?" manya curious.
He didn't answer, I thought maybe he didn't hear me talk.
Suddenly we stopped in front of a house. He also told me to come down.
"Whose house is this?" my many.
"My house" he answered briefly.
"Huh? Your home? Seriously? Why didn't you say you were coming here?" manywould be surprised.
Seriously I'm surprised. Very surprised. I really didn't expect him to take me to his house today, he never talked about it at all. I swear, my heart is getting pumped.
"Mas, are your parents inside?" my many.
"There is, this afternoon usually Mbak Ani is also there," he replied casually.
"Mas, iiiihhh, why didn't you say? I'm real deg-degan."
"My family is good, don't be afraid" he replied with a smile.
"Yes but I'm not ready yet, where are my clothes like this. Disrespectful as it is, duh mas. It's so confusing to me like this," my story goes. I swear by what, I really didn't know what to do.
Suddenly the door opened, I saw a woman in her 50s wearing a mukena standing at the door.
"Mas, wes mulih (mas already home)?" tanyakanya.
"Sampun Ma'am, (already ma'am)" replied Mas Farhan.
Mas Farhan took my hand and took me to his mother.
"Daddy, this is my mother."
"Mom's assalamualaikum," I said with a sungkem.
"Waalaikumsalam, monggo on deck" said his mother.
"Come, come in." Mas Farhan pulled my hand slowly.
"Monggo sit down first, I'll go inside first."
"Oh, ma'am" I replied.
Honestly, it felt awkward, nervous, and I was really still in shock because all of this was too sudden. I was sitting in the living room, looking around, there were some family photos on the wall.
"But the deck, I went in for a while" said Mas Farhan as he walked in and left me alone in the room.
I also admire. Shortly afterwards, Mother Mas Farhan came with two cups of tea in a tray. Then put it on the table.
"Monggo deck drunk." Mother offered.
"Mother Maturnuwun, "" I answered, lifting a glass of tea and drinking it.
"Whose name is deck?" ask her.
"Rania Ma'am," I replied trying to relax. If only someone could feel it. My hands, my feet, they all feel like ice.
"This is called the Rania Deck?" he said while watching me from the bottom up.
Yeah, I can see it's looking at me as a whole. I'm sorry if I had to say that I was uncomfortable being noticed that way.
"Asli Sumatera njih?" tanyakanya.
"Yes, ma'am" I replied.
"Where's the temperature?"
"Palembang Ma'am" I replied again.
Suddenly from within, Mas Farhan came out with a woman whose age did not seem much different from his.
"Dek knowsin, this is Ani's mother." Mas Farhan introduced me to his only older sister.
"Rania," I said, shaking hands.
"Here" he answered smiling.
"Where was this from?" ask Ani's mother to me.
"From Ratu Boko Temple," I replied.
"Oh, that's Farhan's favorite place to think about" he continued.
"The place to seek tranquility is more precisely," said Mas Farhan, laughing.
"Dek Rania how long has it been in Yogya?" ask mother.
"From 2005, ma'am" I replied.
"Oh yeah it's been a while, has it finished college?"
"This is another thesis of the mother."
"Hopefully it will be finished and smooth, yes" said his mother.
"Amminn" I replied.
"Yes, let the spit in the same lamar Farhan," said Mbak Ani with a smile.
My heart oath was getting worse, I looked towards Mas Farhan. He also smiled at the words of Ani. But Mom, I'm not smiling at all. He seemed to dislike what Ani said, I could see it from the link of his face. It really took my heart down.
"Mother comes in first, monggo continues to talk." Mas Farhan's mother immediately left the living room and went inside.
"I go in first, yeah, just keep talking. Take it easy." Ani's mother also took part.
I just nodded and smiled.
Me and Mas Farhan were there.
"Mas, why didn't you tell me you wanted to bring me here? I've been so genuine since," I said. I don't know if Mas Farhan could see the tension in my face.
"It's okay. If I told you you must be repulsive. Because you're not ready yet. But if you wait for it to be ready, it seems like a long time. Because you always tell Zahra stories about mom, right?" inexplicably.
"Yes, but this is what Zahra said. The proof when Ani's mother joked about the proposal, mother looks less like," I said expressing my anxiety.
"That'll let me finish later. Today my only intention is one, I see you. At least I know who Rania is. So does Ani, I want her to know how the figure of Rania that I told her," he said with a smile.
"You ever tell Ani about me?" my many.
"Ever, to Mother too. They once asked who I often call the mallem-malem. Yes, I'll just answer for what it is."
"Mas, Mom's facial expression made me not feel good" I said, looking down.
"This is just the beginning of the Deck, no need to think too much. Let me try to explain to Mom later, yeah," she said to calm me down.
"Ultimately, Zahra did you bring here too?" manya curious.
"That's it," he answered.
"Mother's response?"
"Okay," he answered briefly.
I don't want to continue anymore. I want to go home, I will definitely continue to feel very awkward if I have to linger here.
"Mas, take me home yuk, please," I asked.
"Jaudah come, we will be maghriban in the mosque" he replied.
"We'll take care of yuk" I said.
Mas Farhan also invited me inside, to meet his mother and Ani's mother who was chatting in the dining room.
"Oh, I ran Dek Rania to the first boarding house, yes" Mas Farhan said to his mother.
"Well you're so cool, don't you guys maghriban and have dinner here Rania?" ask mother.
"Oh, maturnuwun's mother. InshaaAllah next time Rania plays here again" I replied with a smile.
"Jaudah be careful, Rania" said Ani's mother and sister.
Farhan and I bowed to Mom and walked out.
"Your father doesn't exist?" my many.
"The most important father at the house of Mbak Ani, playing with the children of Mbak Ani," he replied.
Finally, Mas Farhan brought me home. Throughout the journey I only imagined with the expression of his mother's face, when I heard the words mbak ani earlier.
Ran, Mas Farhan hasn't explained anything to his mother. Even Mas Farhan did not know who the woman meant by his mother. After all, if it turns out that Mas Farhan can convince his mother, it means that Mas Farhan really only wants you. You can see the truth from there, right? So that your head does not need to be filled with fear of the uncertain.
Arriving in front of the boarding house I got off the bike, I did not go straight in. We talked for a while in front of the boarding gate.
"Thank you Mas has taken me to your favorite place, thank you for giving me a surprise by taking me home" I said.
"Together, about the mother's speech, the mother's response, the mother's expression, don't think too much. Let me try to talk to Mom later," she assured me.
"But this is an example. Well, suppose you still disagree with me, and stick with the woman of his choice, how?"
"Pray as much as Adek can, for whatever Mother's plan will not be accomplished if Allah will not."
I can only duck, maybe I really should just give up.
"That's going to be me later, not Mom. So I will try to explain everything to Mom slowly.believe me, yes," he said, lowering his head slightly so that he could see my face that had been bowed.
"Mas, is that so serious you're the same as me?" my many. He also nodded.
"If I'm not serious, I won't take you home" he said.
If I could, I would have loved to have hugged her at that moment. Then I wanted to tell her how much I love her. I want to be serious with him too. I want to be with him. Forever. But I couldn't, I just fell silent. Hiding the taste mixed in my chest.
"I'll go home firstwell, I'll text you, Assalamualaikum." Mas Farhan was too happy.
"Waalaikumsalam" I replied.
He passed by, leaving me still standing in front of the boarding gate.
After Mas Farhan left, I went to the boarding house, to my room. Then I took a shower, changed my clothes, and got ready for bed. But I turned on the radio first. Yes, it has become my habit. Listening to the radio as a sleep aid.
When I got into my bed, I took the time to open my HP for a moment. There was an SMS from Mas Farhan.
"Sir, I'm home."
"God, rest, "reply, my reply.
"Yes, it's me sleeping on the radio."
"I'm the same, on the radio. The radio that brought me to my beloved," I replied. I forgot to put on a smile.
"Happy break my beloved, pray as much as you can, so that all is beautiful in time" replied Mas Farhan.
I who was lying down immediately woke up and sat down. I just re-read the SMS.
Huh huh? Not misread this? A fondness? What Rania!
Your favorite? After a long wait. Finally he said something so romantic. It's just SMS. Oh Raniaaa, your smile Ran? Seneng is Ran? At that moment my heart was really happy. Sometimes I can feel that happiness at times.
My prayer that night, may that happiness never go away from me.
Seriate...
