Orang-orang to Aratha

Chapters. 28 - Physics Lab

It had been a month since Sonya heard the news that Aratha was gone. He continued to be aloof, rarely speaking and his face always looked gloomy. Even Aretha who had settled in Tangerang and attended the same school as her, was not enough to comfort her. Sonya had always stayed in her class with a piece of blue paper that she had not read at all.

Kinan couldn't help her any more. Sonya was already injured and she needed time to fix it. His days were much different than those before. Same with those around him.

"Where's this? Sonya is still not back." whispered Fahruz who peeked at her through the window along with the others.

"He needs time alone. But a month is a long time." Kinan continued.

"What's so good about that guy? He was no different from Aretha. Aretha is far worse than him." - Faiz.

"What a shit!" ketus Aretha's. "I'll try to go inside to cheer him up."

Aretha stood up and started walking into her class. Kinan firmly pulled his wrist straight away then threw it backwards and made everyone shocked. Aretha's back directly hit Fahruz and Faiz's face there. It was only natural that Kinan directly threw his target as an outlet for his frustration. Because at Junior High, she was the 1st karate champion in the district and became the scariest girl.

"It doesn't matter if I say leave him alone!" said Kinan coldly.

The three of them were instantly goosebumps like they had just been attacked by a wave of ice that froze their hearts and blocked blood flow. Kinan's gaze was so piercing and intimidating as if hinting never mess with her.

The classroom door opened and from inside there, Sonya walked out. Of course with a face that still looks gloomy. There was no way he would be immediately cheerful in the next minutes. He must have been very difficult to interpret his heart and it was difficult to correct his attitude that had already gone like this.

"Sonya, where are you going?" ask Kinan.

Sonya turned her attention even more as she stared at Aretha behind Kinan. "No idea." in short.

"When are you going to come back like the old Sonya?" Fahruz.

This time Sonya didn't answer anything even moving her head just didn't. I feel too lazy to talk to people. Aretha's heart was getting heated, unable to see Sonya's gloomy face which made her also desperate.

Consciously, he immediately ran over to Sonya, no matter who dared to block her even Kinan managed to get by her.

Right now, the two are looking at each other. Sonya looked at him with a sense of incomprehension while Aretha looked at him with great seriousness.

"I don't know what happened to you two. I don't know how desperate you are. But, it is not you who feel lost Aratha figure. I am his brother, I feel lost too. So, you don't have to be like this anymore" said Aretha.

Sonya looked at Aretha for a while. Before long, he formed a small smile that had not appeared on his face for a long time. "thank you. Looking at you, it has comforted me quite a bit. I really appreciate it."

The short words that came out of Sonya's mouth, became a temporary farewell. Sonya walked away leaving everyone who tried to worry about her. Sonya wants to be Sonya again. It's just that he forgot how to do it.

The physics lab room is the most quiet and rarely visited place. Sonya purposely entered the room to avoid any noise coming from outside.

There is a long table and several rows of chairs facing each other. On the table, there were several books piled up and the microscope was not put back into place. Sonya chose to sit on one of the chairs by the window, letting the wind in and through.

His hand was still holding the blue paper, the last gift from Aratha. He deliberately delayed it because he was waiting for the right time. His heart was not ready to read the words written by Aratha straight through the almost faded ink scratches.

Sonya took a breath and held it for a while. He tried to gather all his remaining strength to read it slowly.

For Sonya.

Thank you for filling my days with love and affection.

Thank you for letting me taste what loving and being loved by someone I had nothing to do with before.

I don't know when my death will come. So, I was in a bit of a hurry when I wrote it for you. Tomorrow I may no longer see the morning and I cannot say a line of farewells to you.

Before continuing, I want to warn you not to cry. This paper is too thin and old so do not wet it with tears because it will make the paper tear.

I want to write a few words for you until it resembles a book. Of course to torture you. But soon this ink will run out. Like my age being constantly eaten up by time and circumstances.

If I had bought a recording device, I would probably have recorded it and you wouldn't have bothered to read it. But I don't want you to hear my weak voice. I hate this body because I can't do something that's a precious memory for you.

Sorry for getting you into my life.

Nah! You forced my way into my life and I helped you enter my gray world.

I shouldn't have approached you and taken you to the cafeteria. I should have chosen to ignore you and leave you so you wouldn't get hurt after my departure.

I don't know why my heart refuses to regret.

I always feel good when I'm around you.

I always feel good when I see you smiling and arguing with me just because of trivialities.

I want to laugh when I remember it again. Things that cannot happen twice and are very pleasant for an Aratha.

You also managed to smash through the steel walls I had painstakingly made.

Every day you take my heart with your smile which is always shown to everyone.

I miss the happy face of a Sonya.

I miss the spicy words of a Sonya.

I want to see it all from a great distance.

Again, sorry Sonya. I gotta go. You may not expect a breakup that happens suddenly.

I am the same. Didn't expect the death to come to me step by step even though I had already fled so far.

I'mtired. Real tired. I was afraid that death would come when I closed my eyes.

I hold on to stay awake and think of you every ticking clock that happens.

About what are you doing now?

Do you eat well while I give you no news at all?

Again, the death stepped twice closer to me. I'm getting scared. The pain I was experiencing was getting worse every second. For that, I made a final request that only God could hear.

My request is, I want to be in Sonya's dream even if it's only a few seconds. There's something I want to tell him. Its serious.

Ah, yes too. Is it possible that it could?

Where am I going after this?

Of course I don't know that either.

Again, thank you Sonya. And I'm sorry if my departure makes you so sad.

I love you, with all my heart.

Forever.

Good bye Sonya.

Sonya couldn't hold back her tears. In her silence, her tears just fell on the floor. He squeezed the paper after he finished reading it. He had expected that his sadness would increase if he continued reading it.

He tried not to make a sound. However, he could not hold it for a very long time. In the end, all of it overflowed out from the tip of his head. Sonya is hoping for a miracle. However, the miracle will not happen to him because fate has already said.

...~o0o~...

Sonya steps out of the physics lab after she wipes out all her grief. When he reached the doorway, he saw Aretha was already waiting for him next to the door. Aretha kept folding her hands like she looked annoyed at something. If remembered, Aratha's position was also like that as she waited for him for the last time.

"It's over, crying?"

Sonya wiped away the rest of her tears then nodded. She was not so curious whether Aretha had heard all her cries or not. For sure after reading it, Sonya could feel a little calm. His heart was no longer anxious about Aratha's current state. He was somewhere else and happy there. Sometimes Sonya missed her scolding and her cold gaze that was always shown. Moreover, when he saw it scared in the dark.

Aretha started walking and stood right in front of Sonya. Aretha is not much different from Aratha. What distinguishes them is their nature. Far aretha is open to the people while Aratha is closed. Such an Aratha probably did not want anyone else to get hurt after her departure.

"I don't know how to act like Aratha. I don't know how Aratha is happy with you either. I know you're sad to see someone who looks a lot like Aratha. But, I'm here because of Aratha's request. He wants me to stay here. I can't say what the purpose is. But, can you be the old Sonya? Everyone is worried including me who should still be someone else in your life."

Silent.

The blue paper in his hand had been repeatedly squeezed by it until it formed crease lines that looked careless. Sonya was silent to just take a breath and hold it for a moment because of this tension. He felt his brain transformed into a train that emitted smoke in his chimney.

"I lost."

"What?"

"I lost because I couldn't win it. I cannot fight with time. I can't erase the distance either. Everything's dark. Nothing to see."

Sonya came back crying and made Aretha unable to bear to see her. If escaping under these circumstances was allowed, Aretha had already chosen to run away and would not meet him for a while. However, he could not stand it anymore.

As if lightning was grabbing her, Sonya was forced to lean on Aretha's broad shoulders. He only realized Aretha was hugging him out of pity. This hug was almost the same as Aratha's embrace in her dream. It feels warm even though it is a little cold.

"You're not the one who lost. But I'm the one who lost here. I lost can't let you be alone here. I lost because Aratha won you over. I want you to know that a stranger like myself is very worried about you. Be the Sonya we knew. This is a plea from me. Maybe you need some time. But I'll keep waiting."