Not the Loan

16. Feel Guilty

After knowing that she could not get pregnant again, Amanda always thought about the words of dr. Helen. His words always echoed in his ears. Including when he was asleep. Suddenly, the words were ringing in his head.

"She will never get pregnant again. She'll never have another child."

"No!!," cried Amanda who woke up from her sleep. Before that, he was still sleeping very fast. But suddenly the words were ringing in his ears.

"What's up, baby? Are you all right?" asked Gilang who felt surprised because of the cry of his wife next to him.

"Ti, no. I just had a bad dream" Amanda replied with a gasping breath.

He immediately took a drink of water for Amanda. And Amanda gulped it down.

"You should go back to sleep, it's still late at night" said Gilang, who returned to sleep after giving Amanda a drink.

Amanda just nodded at her husband's orders. But still his mind was not calm because he was still thinking about his son. Amanda feels guilty that her family's happiness must be lost. After a long period of waking up Amanda finally fell asleep as well.

Next day. It doesn't feel like it's noon. Gilang had been up since morning because he had to work, while Amanda was still asleep because she slept before dawn. It was impatient for Gilang to wake his wife up.

Finally he went to the office without saying goodbye to his wife. When just arrived home, Gilang passed his grandfather's personal doctor, dr. Axels. Gilang also told about the real events to dr. Axel but with the record he can't tell all this to his whole family.

Axel agreed because however Axel already considers Gilang like his own son. Likewise with Gilang who was comfortable telling his personal problems to Axel.

After Gilang explained at length, Axel finally gave his opinion. He suggests Gilang find a surrogate mother. But after the baby was born, Gilang would give him enough money and give him his child.

"What om? surrogate mother? I still don't understand" asked Gilang by linking the two halis.

"So you're going to put your seeds in her womb, after the baby is born you're going to get the baby and she's going to get the money" explained dr. Axels.

"But what about my family?" ask Gilang again.

"You have to move out of the country for some time, after the baby is born you can come back here again."

Heard the explanation of dr. Axel now Gilang began to understand and understand. But it feels like she loves Amanda so much and has no intention of betraying her. After dr. Axel explained at length he immediately rushed in because he had to check on Bhaskara's grandfather.

After dr. Axel went inside the house, Gilang immediately rushed off to his office. Gilang went to drive his car at a high speed. A few moments later Gilang finally arrived at his office.

In his room Gilang recalled the words of dr. Axel, but he can't do that. Gilang really doesn't want to do it. Maybe he would choose to adopt if he had to do so.

"No, I can't do that. I love Amanda so much," muttered the troubled Gilang who was at a loss for himself with what to do. But Gilang also did not want to disappoint his grandfather, if he adopted a child what he had to say to his family.

Elsewhere, Amanda wakes up from her sleep.

"What's? It's noon, why didn't Gilang wake me up?" amanda muttered while holding her head. After almost a night of not being able to sleep, making Amanda's head become dizzy because she was not enough sleep.

In order not to get too dizzy and tired, Amanda finally rushed to take a bath to feel more refreshed. It was only a few minutes before Amanda finally finished her bath. After bathing and wearing clothes, Amanda now sits on a dresser.

Amanda suddenly thought that her husband could remarry to get offspring. Although she loved her husband very much, she had to do this for the happiness of her family.

"Yes, maybe that's what I should do. I had to ask Gilang to remarry in order for her to have offspring," Amanda muttered with teary eyes.

Although Amanda never wanted her husband to marry again, but she had to do this. Especially grandfather, he really wanted a great-grandson in this family.

Finished combing her hair, Amanda rushed downstairs for breakfast. At the same time dr. Axel just came out of his grandfather's room.

"Dok, what's so early in the morning?" ask Amanda while linking the two halis.

"That's, I just finished checking on grandpa. He dropped again, is now resting because it has been given injections and drugs," explained dr. Axels.

Hearing that made Amanda even more confident in her decision. Grandfather's condition like this must have something to do with him. Grandpa must still be hoping that he can still have a great-granddaughter.

But if he finds out the truth, maybe grandpa will be disappointed.

"What's up Amanda? Why silence?" ask dr. Axel who suddenly saw Amanda daydreamed.

"Ti, not doc. I'm fine," Amanda stuttered. It felt very unlikely if he had to tell the truth.

"I'll excuse you, then" said dr. Axels.

"Yes doc, please."

After the departure of dr. Axel, Amanda rushed into the room to see the condition of her grandfather.

"I'm sorry cake, I can't give you a great-grandchild. I can't give happiness to this family" muttered Amanda, who saw Grandpa fall asleep. Not even her tears rolled down her cheeks.

It doesn't feel good for Amanda to see her grandfather like this. Amanda really can't bear it. Feeling sad Amanda immediately came out of her grandfather's room.

"Amanda, what are you doing, son?" risma asked who saw her daughter-in-law wiping away her tears.

"It's okay, ma'am, I'm just looking at Grandpa's condition. But it doesn't feel good, is grandpa sick because I'm mom. I can't give happiness to this family?" said Amanda who felt very guilty because her grandfather was like this.

"Of course not son. Never think like that. Grandpa is sick indeed the condition of his body is not fit, grandfather will certainly be like that if less rest," said Risma who explained at length.

"But ma'am" Amanda said again.

"Nothing but, but. Now that we have breakfast yes, you definitely have not eaten anything today," Risma invited him to the kitchen.

Amanda who is still in a sad state can only follow behind her mother-in-law.