MY LECTURER DUREN (COLD WIDOWER )

THE POV 5 NATHAN

I haven't seen him for a week. These eyes could not be prevented from looking for him, the figure of a skinny, tiny girl who always acted absurdly in front of me.

He's already entering the final year. He must have been very busy.

And my next stupidity is. I volunteered to be the head of the department to be his guidance counselor.

He made a short film about PTSD.

Interesting girl, right?

He knew I had the disease. Without fear he kept approaching me. I wanted to know what his brain was, why always looking for me.

And now he's back to teasing me. I don't feel like I can behave my age if I'm with him.

It's grim!

As he began to advance his body, and whispered to me

"If I miss you, can I?"

At that moment we looked at each other. I felt a great pounding in my heart. And my defense almost collapsed. I'm a normal guy anyway...

Fortunately, I can still control myself.

**

This afternoon someone came, she was Bella.

My sister-in-law. Or you could call him my ex-in-law.

He is the younger brother of Jihan.

After Jihan's departure, her parents advised me to marry Bella.

I refused it of course. Marrying Bella would make me even sicker.

He is not much different from Jihan. Even his face was very similar.

A year ago Bella went abroad. Take care of his boutique efforts there.

And now he's back...

He said he wanted to marry me. He even threatened to take custody of Arsy with my former in-laws.

See...life is not on my side.

How could they bother me when me and Arsy were already living a quiet life?

At the wrong time Anindira came. He saw me and Bella. And strangely Bella finds out who Anindira is.

I never told you a single bit about him.

All this time he always looked at me with amazed and adoring eyes.

There was fear in this heart when he left.

"Bella, can you go now?"

"Why, mas? Don't tell me Nathan wants to go after that girl. He's a kid, not worth it to you. Especially being Arsy's mom"

I stared at Bella. I have been trying to be patient with it since. Because I still appreciate him as a relative of Jihan.

But how could he insult Anindira, when he was no better than the girl.

"Listen Bella. I have a disease. Psychiatric disorders. Do you still want to marry me. Hemm?"

Bella looked shocked and keget heard my words.

"You're not serious, are you?"

I smiled at him cynically. Look. Just heard it he's already scared.

"Why? You don't want the same mental disorder person as me?"

Bella just kept quiet. I leave him immediately. There is no time to serve it.

I see Anindira's bike is still there.

It's so sloppy, girl!

I run my car fast. His number could not be reached. Plus the rain started to fall.

The feeling of anxiety came again.

What if something happens to him?

What if he leaves me like everyone else?

What if I can't see her again?

Only he has withstood my attitude.

He's the only one who didn't stay away from me.

And only Anindira can bring me back to calm when I'm unstable.

What do you doubt about Nathan?

*****