My Happiness is Not With My First Love

feel protected

he hugged me and took me out and promised to protect me from whatever it was, touched honestly yes it must be touched, I feel like a lucky woman to be met with a man who can make me comfortable, trust me, and love me,and this guy is everything to me.

Sopian"lain time if you come home from work really call later let me drive home ok😘"

when the new year's night came he asked the mama's permission to take me away mamahpun allow because this is the first time mamah let me go and go home late at night, when I asked mamah haha answer"mamah believes in him, he GK will hurt you, you choose the right man.but my dear son don't hurt him."I also think I still have another man who blum I blame.

I just smiled and hugged mamah😂he took me to a very beautiful hill so beautiful by the city view that looks like a star" that accompanied my togetherness.

I was so happy to be by his side and so happy, that I decided to be completely loyal to him, even if I knew it was hard to break this habit but I was determined to change everything,because I can't be like Trus until later.

I was a cop on Sopian and day"happy until my friend Anne she asked me out together.I told you"Sopian busy GK maybe I'll come along,"Anne replied"You don't have anything other than Sopian?"I said"I've decided to be loyal to her."

Their moniker Anne laughed and the Monik said"hey, I want Karin to change for Sopian?it really makes me want to thank him for making my best friend loyal to one man"

a few days later I met Irfan

Irfan"Hay how are you?same kind of relationship?hopefully good?"I smiled and said"yes.I am very happy with my man who is now😊"

Irfan"thank God he seems like a lucky man who can break a rock that has long covered a wounded heart and even he treats the wound.I think I'm the man who will treat it turns out there is another man who can make your heart is perfect again.I'm happy if you're happy😉"

Karin"Irfan sorry I didn't hurt your heart but I was right"don't have that feeling"

Irfan"are you going to stay away after hearing the expression of my love?"

Karin"of course not, we're friends and we'll be friends, ok"he smiled and said ok.

I also realized that if one day I hurt Sopian I could not afford it.

I repent for forgiveness, and while doing my duty as a Muslim, in prayer I ask for guidance between myself and Sopian.

I'm right" wanted to change everything and walk the line forward without having to look back,but I'm an ordinary man who always remembered the mass and was afraid to lose.until one night we went to the square"Bandung and sat in a beautiful garden.I was afraid to ask but I had to ask.

Karin"if one day we don't match or there's a new mistake you know what I'm gonna do?will you survive and accept it?or will you forgive and decide to leave?"

he fell silent and said"I'll choose the second one, and there's a lot of women"

I was shocked by his reply and tried to hold back my tears.Suddenly he said"but if I had fought, dear, don't want to lose, I would have chosen the first one and would always forgive him🤗"

I'm right"not expecting what he said, in this grand mosque I want this place to be a witness to my silence and Sopian's answer, I'm ready to tell him how tarnished I am. I can't afford to lose him, if they lost me I was right"don't want him to leave.

I'm selfish, but I'm an ordinary woman who's so scared of a piece of honesty that there's no self-esteem.

Polite"if you take me with you if ever try to retreat, if you can't give me your hand and then hold my hand tightly so that you don't fall".

I don't want to lose her any more, I'm the first woman in my life not to lose a man like Sopian.

we went home and when I got home I tried to open FB because I was bored.

plus Sopian is still on the road until blum tells me.

Karin"uh I'm tired, try to see what's on notice."

I saw three blum open messages when I opened it turned out surya.how surprised I was.

message(night, is your day good?, your relationship?) I'm blz messaging(yes we're good)

surya's message (thank God, but if he knew our mass, would it be a good trus?)

I was shocked by his reply and my heart became agitated and frightened, but I replied calmly so that he would not think I was scared.

message(ouh about that you GK need to worry, I udh said and he accepted me).

unreturned, may it be safe.

I also immediately blocked it, and deleted all messages with it, the color Sopian now knows my password.

when I fell asleep I dreamed Sopian was angry and left, when I woke up my body was sweating so much and my breath was as tight as it could be real.

not wanting to delay my bath and tahajud prayer asking for directions and a way out for my anxiety and my fear.

in prayer"Allah I am right"cannot afford to lose Sopian, but I know all is will,I'm just a human being who can only wish but you decide.I know I've had a lot of sins in the past and now,but please give me just one sign so I can make sure he's the soul mate you gave me?if we are a match please bring us closer and strengthen us in the face of anything that tries to damage it. If he is not my match then give a warning to wake me up.

keep him away and bring us closer if we are a match.amin"I cried in prayer so wet that I wet my face, my heart became calm.

I taught until my eyes were tired and sleepy, I slept so soundly.

Polite is still as usual romantic, kind and considerate, maybe Surya is just threatening and I'm relieved.

when we met again he went with me to a movie with a friend.

he'll take my hand, and won't let me go far" from his side.

I was happy for a moment I forgot the word"Surya and was very comfortable being near him.

when the movie started he was holding my hand, and his friends" were so jealous and they were teasing us.

I'm lucky to meet Sopian as well as his friend" who so welcomed me so well.

on the way home we stopped by the villa jek and we were both near a beautiful fish pond

I dare to talk.

Karin"may I tell you something that might hurt you?"

he looked at me with a curious look and said "say, I'm ready to hear it"

hushed........

Karin"honestly, I'm the way you think I'm, I'm not as good as you look, I'm not as innocent as you know, I'm probably a stain on the eyes of people"it's garbage" I spoke with glass, and he was confused.

Courtesy"what are you saying I really don't understand?"god if I can choose I want to die and let him know after I'm gone.

I can't tell the truth.

Karin"to be honest I don't want you to know but I also know this is wrong, to be honest I'm no longer holy, I'm tarnished by my first love, the man who appeared to me, he said, that's why I want you so far away from me because I realize I don't deserve you."

he immediately took off his arms and said "it turns out you were someone else's ex, why did you just tell me?"

I couldn't hold back my tears and said"I don't think I could lose you, I've lost someone I love, and I don't want that to happen again let alone I love you so much,huhuhu I GK can who really not my magsud lie to you and our relationship.I know I was wrong and I'm sincere with your answer."

he shut up and left me alone

I cried more and more, my eyes screamed my old wounds back because it was my fault.

he drove me home without a word he said.

I hugged and tried to say sorry, but he said nothing.

until he stops the bike and starts saying "you want to know my answer, right?"

Karin"ya.whatever it is I will accept because it is my fault."

Sopian"stupid.heard I was angry ya must be angry, disappointed very clearly I was disappointed, wounded of course I was hurt,, not I can not go from you, not I can not go from you,I can leave but I will never know another woman besides you, I am already dear and do not want to part with you even though my heart is injured but he will heal with the wound that is alone, he said,I told you once that if you can't do that, give me your hand and take my hand, if you ever let go, what else would you like to leave this love."

I was shocked by his reply and could only cry in his arms, I did not want to lose him, his love, unfortunately, and everything.

and now I find a clue from the power of thanks for trusting your servant to change for the better, and thank you for the soul mate you gave me.

we also went home, but not to the house but returned to the villa to stay with friends"nya others.

I was by his side and didn't want to take my hand off.

time passed when Sany asked me in the morning blind, because we happened to exercise in the morning, running to ordinary places such as the source of the juice, Tegalega, TKI and even brigip.

Sany"Rin can it be GK?"

Karin"of course can dong"

Sany"you're still dating Sopian, right?"

Karin"yeah, our relationship is good, why?"

Sany"try to see this, he's dating in FB but not kmu but Wulan🤔"

I was surprised and took out my phone, when I opened Sopian was no longer friends with me, he blocked my fb probably not to be found out.

and that status was Saturday before Sunday morning, I was silent and wanted to cry but I realized what my fault was.

I called Sopian and he picked him up in saying "honey morning tumben morning gini call?didn't you just say sports again?"

Karin"yeah we're taking a break and yes I want to ask you something, how come?"

Polite"sad why you ask like that certainly can dong"

Karin"why is my FB blocked?are you hiding something?"

Sopian" blocked?real timing?I don't know if I've been checking FB for a week, why what's going on?"

Karin" really don't you know?why were you active a few hours ago?"

Polite"that's not me, you think that's me doing it?"

Karin"yeah, your color never published our relationship on FB."

Polite"wasn't it you who asked like that?now it's my fault?"

we had a very heated argument, and I was disappointed in Sopian, he called and I ignored him

before long my phone was silent when I touched the incoming call trus rang I picked up and he immediately said"what's the matter?what the hell is going on?why is it only because our FB fought like this?"

Karin"you say like that like you don't have anything wrong with me?"

Courtesy"what I'm doing, let's hear the details!!!!"he's very angry

Karin"well, forget about FB, but what about that woman named Wulan?"

Polite"Wulan who?I was right"not knowing him, really"

Polite"let me see what's going on in FB for a while until my wife gets mad"like this to me"

I cried needed Sany and Sani just calmed me down.

Sany"let's go home, GK is good crying here, have seen all watching us"

we went home and at home I saw Sopian near the door.

Sany"you from Lembang came straight here to calm Karin or want to break up with Karin?"Sany looks upset at Sopian.

Sopian"heard Karin I have nothing to do with Wulan, I work again and hpku I live in a locker because I happen to be cas, trust me"

Karin"I'm tired, I don't care about it, it's my fault, I don't blame you",

Polite"I beg you to believe I didn't do it all, really"he's telling the truth, I got confused and let him in.

Karin"then who knows your password besides me?"

Polite"not only you and I know"

and suddenly he said"ouh yeah that time Adi asked me for permission to call someone and he used my phone. and also fb,ig, I never got him out, maybe he was just a prank"

Karin"whispers?and make us fight? baby come on. He wants us to break up" I'm mad at his friend.

Sopian"I'll ask her, what magsud of all this is"now calm and trust me enough,ok🤗😘"