Lutfi Gilang's

29. First Letter

i

I just arrived in Jakarta in the afternoon. Today I am wearing a new shirt. Usually if I wear new clothes I am happy, but this time I am not. Of course not. Where is anyone who likes to wear a prisoner's shirt?

"Sir, how long do I have to wait?" ask me when the officer locked the cell where there were 2 level mattresses with three other inmates who have been there since I went through the porter, and entered several blocks before finally stopping in front of their holding cells.

"The prosecution will come in two days" he replied as he left. Back to his duty.

"Udah, he's a criminal in prison. Don't expect to get spit free" said the one-room inmate with me.

Shut up, I didn't respond.

"Yes, uh. with new people!" another inmate.

I still don't flinch.

"Heh boy!" snatched the third inmate while pulling my shirt. "Don't be arrogant!"

I didn't make a sound, didn't even look at him at all.

"My intentions! You dare to be with me, huh?!" yells.

I still ignore it.

Suddenly the man landed his punch right on my right cheek until I was thrown and hit the iron bar. The other two inmates cheered and applauded.

I wake up and assume they don't exist. Look outside the cell. A little confused actually because the police are not aware of the uproar that is happening. But, let. They may be busy.

"Coward!" objurgation.

But I still don't care. I understand what they're doing, because I'm sure they feel like they're seniors in this living room. Yes, like seniors, surely you know for yourself how their pretentious behavior knows everything and pretends to dominate anything.

Moreover, the burly inmate with tattooed hands and neck who was standing by my side while intimidating with all the confusion he thought. Puffing my chest, pulling my shirt, threatening me, and hitting me. Twice, three times, up to seven times.

I could have replied to him, but I didn't want to get emotional, let alone Maghrib time like this. There are many demons through it. And of course I don't want myself to be overwhelmed by anger.

What they say is not wrong. I was a criminal, who let my fiancee disappear without a trace and for more than a month remained unable to find where my fiancee was.

I am a new person, who has not understood anything about the way this world works which in the end makes me have to lose my lover, lose a lot of things.

I am a coward, though, who did not dare to take risks and prefer the middle way which makes me not thrive in finding information about the existence of Lutfi and did not manage to solve the problem of slander that I had an affair.

So, why would I deny their statement that it's all true?

"Give him a lesson Palkam!" The first inmate exclaimed.

Palkam or Head of Room is a term for a person who is given the responsibility to manage all affairs in his room. Each room has 1 Palkam.

I thank him for informing me that the inmate with the tattoo and the burly body by my side is the master of this livable chamber. Maybe, if I manage to make him shut up, they will no longer bother me.

"Hmmm.... But should I beat him just for my sake? I think I'm a very selfish person." I thought.

The second inmate approached and held an iron rod on my right side then shouted calling the officer. After officers approached, he asked me why I was in prison. Then after getting an answer the man looked at me while giving a mockery: "Coruptor!"

I still don't care. He thought of me as such because he did not understand in detail what had happened. And I also have no obligation to tell him. The one thing I want is just to get out of this place.

The officer returned to his guard post and left me who had been mocked many things from the three inmates in this living room. Perhaps, the three of them intended to make me angry so that my punishment time was extended.

Yeah, that's how they're delinquent. Because for people like them pranking new people is fun. And I'm sure some of you must have that kind of nature.

"Pantes had his fiancee run away, his work was corruption." taunted the first inmate.

"hey are. I don't have a steady income, the work is not real, the thief, the graftman, the skinny, the ugly again. Maybe her fiance is at home. Ha ha ha," continued the second inmate.

"Tch! He's still quiet." fumed the third inmate.

"Obviously his fiancee went to a new nyari, a sage like that."

Hearing that I felt angry I could not accept it. I looked at the second inmate with a sharp look.

"What lo?!" He exclaimed with his chest puffing forward. "How dare you ama me?! Go ahead, here!"

I'm silent. Still giving a piercing look towards him.

"Ha ha ha, of course.had married her a new one." added the first inmate closer to the second inmate's side forcing me to look at her.

"Why lo?! Not accept?!" he added.

"The girl you've cheated on!" second inmate saut.

"Yes! Real girl, brothel—"

Haven't had the first inmate finish the sentence I've given a sung-sang punch right towards his stomach.

He's tumbling. His head almost touched his knees, and both of his hands held his stomach.

"Bad!" gritting second inmate with teeth chattering.

He punched a right punch at the head that I managed to avoid. And in a short time I clasped his face with my right hand, then smashed it hard against the iron bar. The man gasped and fainted.

The third inmate widened his eyeballs before his eyebrows tapered and almost fused with a frown. Then he stepped wide and made quick movements, strangling me.

I wiggled and closed my eyes. It feels very hard to breathe. "Is this guy gonna kill me?" Heart asked. "But I can't die before I can find Lutfi."

Spreading views. Palkam's expression was actually very horrible. With a five-sided face, bald head, thick eyebrows, scars on the right eye, long whiskers, thick and not straight.

From that alone it has shown horror for anyone who saw it first. Especially now, the man was in an angry expression. Perhaps the horrors of demons are nothing compared to the horrors of this person.

"Hey, stop!" the officer exclaimed and in a hurry he tried to open the door of this cell.

However, Palkam tightened his grip while threatening: "Don't come near or kill this boy!"

So, you can know how it ends. The silent officer stared as he looked at us like watching an action movie live.

"Sound boy! Don't be arrogant! Once I get out of here, I'll find your fiancee! I'll enjoy him!" his bluff was soft on my left ear.

I can no longer tolerate the talk just now. So I acted. My left hand clasped the back of his right hand, with a quick movement and a strong push I swung the right hand until it made him release his grip on my neck. I held his left hand firmly and then I put my right bicep muscle on his left elbow and twisted his joints until he was down in pain.

When Palkam finally lost balance and fell, I twisted the joint of his left arm with the palm facing his face, then I pressed his body with the knee so that he could not escape.

He whimpers in pain. The officer moved back and opened the cell lock in a hurry.

"If you dare disturb my fiancee, I'll kill you!" I threatened.

She's quiet. There's no answer. His face changed, without expression.

Later then. Officers came and handcuffed me!

Aye! Crazy one! He thinks I started this fight! In fact, all this happened because they insulted my fiancee, insulted my Lutfiku.

I may still be able to accept that people insult me, but I will never accept that anyone would insult my Lutfiku. Never will!

As the officers led me out of the holding cell, Palkam got up and launched his fists which I managed to shake. Then I retaliated with a kick towards his vitals. He flinched, fell down while holding on to *********** like a pee keblet boy. I got a fist from the officer for some reason.

If the physical of the officer, of course I will not dare to retaliate. I just kept quiet and obeyed his orders. Heading to the empty dormitory, which then became my place of residence in the prison.

🌹🌹🌹

ii

"So, you don't want me to come, huh?" tanyakanya.

I muttered. "Not after you sue me, Director."

"I have a reason" he answered.

"And am I your victim?!" I asked in an annoyed tone.

He shrugged his shoulders. "So, how was your life in prison?"

I grunt. "Nothing fun at all. I slept with a wooden mattress without blankets and windows that could not be closed. The only food they gave me was rice yesterday and a nearly stale side dish. It's more like dedek—eat duck—than human food."

"I'm sorry about your condition" he said with regret.

"Maybe. You see this bruise?" ask him to look at my face more closely. "The prisoners hunt me like I'm a punching bag."

She's quiet. Not answering.

"If your business is done, you can leave now" I said as I got up.

"I didn't expect, I lost my honor from you, again."

"Because you're acting unfairly!" I exclaimed.

"I'm acting unfair?" He's nanya.

I'm nagging. "If you're fair, you'll take this matter to court!" I was hitting the table. "Not sue me like this!"

"Calm down, calm down" he asked. "I have to carry out my role as Director at the 0000 company. You know that, don't you?"

I'm silent. Unrespondingly.

He reached into his pocket and fiddled with his phone and handed it to me. "See this,"

I accepted and obeyed his will. I was shocked to see footage of myself coming out of the Director's room carrying a medium-sized suitcase. "Don't-don't...."

Director nodded. "Yes, the employee thinks you stole the company's money."

"Imust be!" shanka. "That's my own suitcase!" I'm yelling.

"Calm down, and listen to me carefully" he said.

I sit. Breathe in. Then approached.

"I know, you're not that kind of person. But, you should know, the company money in my office is gone, too."

"Well?!"

"Yes!" He insists.

"How can you?" my many.

"I don't know" replied the Director.

"There must be someone else!" I'm guessing.

"I agree with you. But I hope you can understand, in my current position, I can't defend you without solid evidence."

I breathed hard. "If you had followed my advice to install CCTV, it wouldn't have happened like this."

He's nodding. "I put it up early in February" he said. "And this is why I didn't bring you to court. Because you don't have any solid evidence."

"Hmmm.." I muttered.

"More than that, you haven't paid any compensation for your failed contract either."

"Well?!" I'm appalled. "The money's a hundred million in that briefcase."

"Then where did you keep the suitcase?" Director nanya.

"I'm headed to Mas Dodit,"

"Dodits? Dodit Mulyanto?" tanyanya.

"Yes," nods me. "didn't he give me the same suitcase as my resignation letter?"

"Well," He shook his head. "uh, wait, wait.... resignation letter?"

I'm nagging.

Director breathes. "Good, fine. I'll try to call him. In the meantime, you stay here for a while" he explained.

"Until when?!" I'm just a little growling.

"Not more than this month. I promise."

I'm nagging.

"Before that, if you don't want to lose your hundred dollars, you'd better start writing again."

I was shocked to hear it.

"You have no intention of stopping the writing, do you?" He's nanya.

I was down without being able to answer anything.

The director left after giving me a book and some pens. Now I look at the things in my hand. "Should I go back to being a writer?"

🌹🌹🌹

iii

I went back into the holding cell contemplating. Thinking about all the decisions.

Should I write again? Especially with my current condition, I will not be able to search for Lutfi's existence. Should I write again, write about my struggles like what Tio said? It's possible that my friends will understand and trust me again, believing that I'm not having an affair. But is this the right decision?

When I turned over the contents of the book sheet, suddenly there was a piece of paper that fell. I picked it up and immediately guessed it was Lutfi's writing.

Finally, I got another message from him. After all this time. And finally! Tidy up the paper and I read:

"You betrayed me more than once. You promised never to do it again, but you did it again. Almost 2 years, you did not repeat the mistake, although still repeating the same other mistakes. And now.... I didn't expect, you rephrase it.—"

I stopped reading, adjusting my irregular breathing. Trying to stop the wail of tears that are no longer within my power. I haven't heard anything from him in a long time. But this time, the first message I got from him in 2019 was a message of disappointment.

I'm...really a stupid man! Loser! It's rotten!

I have repeatedly promised not to hurt her, making Lutfi cry again. But.. ah! I was eager to curse myself which only continued to cause disappointment towards Lutfi. Cursed with the most severe curse that no human has ever imagined. I.... Shall I give up on this love story? Should I give up on this messed up life? Should i.....

In my helplessness, I tried to focus. Back to reading:

"....But I'm still your lover, and you're still my lover. What happened to you must not be separated from me, and what happened to me is also inseparable from you. So, whatever your condition is right now. The woman you knew. Lutfi who loves you. —Lutfi Nurtika."

Reading it, the thought of giving up disappears instantly like a fart that only makes a sound at first, although the smell is sometimes difficult to disappear even though it has been fanned with the help of a fan.

I'm happy, Lutfi still thinks I'm her lover. I'm happy, Lutfi still considers herself my lover. I was much calmer knowing that he still loved me. I became more excited to get out of this place, explain all the misunderstandings that occurred, and find out where Lutfi was.

"I'll try, wait for me Lutfi. I will definitely find you, a lost lover. My lutfiku."