Lutfi Gilang's

31. Recognition

Still on the same day. I sat quietly with Gilang who had been without a word, for about half an hour.

When we finally went through Banyumas square, Gilang suddenly made a sound. “Sorry, new come.”

I shut up, I didn't answer.

“Sorry, new by the way.”

I remain indifferent.

“I'll wait for you to finish eating chicken noodles first, earlier.”

“Oh.”

“You, wait for me to say?”

“Ga.”

“You, worry about me?”

“Ga.”

“You, think I keep?”

“Ga.”

“You, miss me?”

“Ga.”

“You're lazy again?

“Considered?!”

“You, again cambled.”

“Ga!”

“You, angry again?”

“Ya!”

“Why?”

“It mulu! Women don't like to be asked!” I snapped furiously, ignoring my voice that came out loudly along the way. If later people protested, I would say that it was all because of Gilang.

Let him be angry, he'll be alone too.

“Oke, ga nanya.” said in a calm tone, as if not caring about me who keeps jutek and snapping at him. “So I was at your house from three.”

“Ga new!”

“Ga nothing, again storyteller.”

“Oh.”

“Iya, I miss you too.”

“Heh?!” I exclaimed, confused as to what to respond to.

Quiescent. Silent for a while, then I heard Gilang again say: “Tuesday yesterday, I did not go to Jakarta.”

I was surprised to hear that. I'd love to exclaim: “Basic liar! He said he left after school? Whahuh? Fraudsters!”

But I just said: “Oh.”

“Iya, because I asked for the launching to be postponed so that I could participate in the race Rabunya day.”

“Oh.”

So it turns out because Gilang asked for his show to be postponed.

“Because it is not clear, I dare not tell you.”

“Oh.”

“Nah, abis Subuh, Mr. Zurri asked me to make it to Jakarta as soon as possible.”

Huh huh? How come? Repot dong? I asked myself without daring to speak.

“You know, who is Mr Zurri?”

“Women don't like to be asked!” I came back to beat him.

“Oya forgot.” said Gilang as if no problem with me who kept snapping at him repeatedly. “I go directly to the terminal. But when I was on the bus, suddenly he said that my request for the show, it was okay. Yeah, I didn't go.”

Oh so. My heart words. But it still doesn't change anything if Gilang leaves to let me.

“Mumpung there are mothers who come late, continue to run out of tickets, I love mine.” he added.

I feel relieved, because the tickets that Gilang bought were not wasted. But I remained silent.

“Terus, abis it, mumpung me again in the terminal, I took the bus aja all at once, make it to Banyumas square, because the house is locked, Mamah again out for work, do not know what, forget.”

“Oh,” I replied still angry, although I actually began to understand what Gilang felt yesterday.

Waiting for something that is not clear, even though the distance is too far—Wangon to get to Jakarta it takes seven to eight hours—and must be ready to buy a ticket, it is very uncomfortable. Probably the same as my discomfort for these four days.

“Well, as the bus goes, I call you, I also n22you know that I'm on my way. Then, if you remember, I want to give you a surprise.”

I remember, I remember Gilang saying it was Wednesday. But I really didn't expect it to happen that way.

But still I answer with jutek: “Ya.”

“Pas arrived at the square, I nyariin you even though Mamah called back and forth to make me go home.”

“Why?”

“Still.” said happily. “Mbah Hada, My grandfather, Father of my Father, he dropped, less blood. Said Mamah, the blood stock in Ajibarang Hospital again abis, so I was told to sneak home. You're the only one who's goldar AB.”

I answered Gilang's sentence with a murmur.

“Well, when I looked at you again, I suddenly met Fera, Lilikku. He's still Junior High, anyway, seventh grade. But in relation to the family order of the mother, so I call her Lilik.”

“Oh.” I answered. Still less believe in Gilang's explanation.

“Say, he again watched his friend who participated in the Smart Careful race, he also told me to go home. Maksa. But I don't want to, because I haven't met you.”

“Oh.”

“Pas I want to know you, again, suddenly there is a car stopped in front of me, and it turns out, it's Padhe's car, the brother of my father. He was angry, kept telling me to go home. So, do not want, I have to go with Padhe car, Lik Fera also come, all the way home, because his house is not too far from my house, the same house Padhe.”

I could feel a great regret from the tone Gilang spoke, but I still chuckled to hold my anger before Gilang gave something more than before.

I don't mean expensive sales or don't want to care about the condition of others. Nay!

Once again I say, I want Gilang to fight more to be able to get me. I didn't want him to think of getting me so easily, so later he also threw me away easily.

“On the road, you are on the phone, Fera ngagetin me, continue because of shock, hp her did not accidentally throw out the car.”

When I hear and imagine it, honestly, I want to laugh, but I hold back.

“Abis that, I went to the hospital to donate my blood to Mbah Hada, and do not know why, I could not even wake up all day. Usually, I never like it.”

I was really worried about hearing that from him. But I just kept quiet.

“Tomorrow, on Thursday, said Padhe, I was sapped, so overnight I was infused to return the liquid. I also just want if all day on Wednesday yesterday, I did not eat, did not drink. He,”

Aduuuh. But I try not to make a sound. I don't want to worry about him.

“Lah, I made myself a school. Pas new nyampe school gate, Mang Budi told me that you slapped Kelvin yesterday..” Suddenly the sentence stopped. “Sorry, I have nothing to protect you.”

The sound of Gilang, makes me more and more pity. It feels like what Kelvin slapped was him.

“Ga nothing.” I said finally in a normal tone.

“So the next morning, I came to the table of the children, kept slapping him. As he was volunteering, out of reflex, I made him bonyok. Sorry, I'm sorry I've been a hotshot.”

Actually, I'd really like to thank him, but at that time I just said: “I know, kok.”

“Because of that, I was told to go home quickly. So I went home and told it as necessary to Mamah.”

“Hmmm...” replied.

“Abis it, I got a message from Mr. Zurri if the show starts at eight in the morning, Friday. Then, I say goodbye to Mamah to look at you, but I still do not find your house until Isya. Forced, deh, I leave for Jakarta at night.”

“Oooh...”

Quiescent. About a minute of time passed by with silence.

I really can't imagine how tired and worried he was with all that.

Gilang really tried to do what was best for me. So that he can join the LCC, so that he gives me a surprise because of his sudden presence, so that he can still help his family, so that he can visit me, so that he can go to Jakarta.

I know now, he's doing all of that so he can handle everything, but reality doesn't always work out as planned. And I, understand that.

Now, really, I'm just waiting, he's back to acting normal. I also hope, Gilang can rest, even for a while. I'm sure his mind keeps worrying about my condition.

“Fi...” call it.

“Ya.”

“Sorry.” said.

“Udah, ga anything.” I said.

“Sorry because there's no news.”

“Iya.”

“Sorry to make you sick.”

“Iya.”

“Sorry because I'm busy taking care of a lot of things.”

“Iya.”

“Sorry because until now I love you more.”

I heard it, unable to speak. And finally I could no longer hold back, I smiled. The thing that I haven't been able to do for a long time, and now it's back.

I'm happy, with the explanation that is either honest or not— I'm sure, anyway, honestly— makes me feel relief, as if I can just breathe the air off comfortably.

I saw from the reflection of the rearview mirror, Gilang tears spilled over his cheeks.

Wh why? What was? I was just wondering myself.

“Thank you, you still gave me a chance. I....” said Gilang who suddenly became shady while wiping his wet face. “I am very happy to be near you again, Lutfi my idol.”

That was the day, the first day I heard the name directly from him. Confession that he coveted me. Confession that he loves me.

I'm relieved now. I'm happy now. And I'm with Gilang now.

“I'm also happy, you came, then explained everything.”

He's nodding. The smile on his lips flashed wide, mesmerizing me.

Back I put my chin on Gilang's left shoulder. Enjoying being with her, her special scent, and something in her that made me feel comfortable and not want to be away from her. That something is the love of hers so great, and only for me a.

Now, I admit it now. I also love you Rizky Gilang Kurniawan.