Lutfi Gilang's

24. Mute Witness

i

Tio and I arrived in Jakarta at eight in the morning. We decided to come to the company 0000 to report the results of the task for the last 3 days, so that later we can immediately rest. So, no need to worry about the salary that will be cut 15% if it comes late— more than 11 pm.

Arriving at the Director's room I and Tio sat in rows while facing towards him. Then I handed the rough script to the Director. He accepted it and read it carefully.

"Hmmm.." he murmured. "it turns out to be more than hope."

I'm silent. Waiting for him to finish his sentence. However, there are 2 possibilities: "better or worse". Either way, I still have to be prepared to accept the results.

The director put down the piece of paper and looked at me sharply with fingers overlapping on the table. "So, you're still planning on making this script by yourself?"

I answered with a nod.

He sighed. "Are you able to finish this by the end of January?"

I'm not sure.

"Hmmm.... Mas Danu, if you decide to write alone, you'll also have to take the contract from Clara." Director explained.

I don't budge, neither do Tio. He put on a serious face, very serious. It was different from the day-to-day life he showed people.

"Like a contract you signed before. You must have read it, right? If you can't reach the time, you'll have to pay a fine—"

"Fifty million," I said, grabbing the Director's sentence.

Tio was screaming hysterically. "Huh?! Li-fifty million? I don't think it's that much."

"So, if you want and are ready to bear it alone ..you just count the number of the double." said the Director.

"Du-double the Director?" Tio nanya stuttered.

The director answered with a nod.

"That means. a-a hundred million!" Tio again exclaimed. "Nu... hundred million, Nu! That's money, Nu! One hundred million more, Nu! Are you sure you want to go alone?"

"The decision is in your hands, Mas Danu." said the Director with a smile.

"I agree, Director."

"Well?!" shout Tio. "Don't just agree, Nu! Think carefully Nu!"

"I've been thinking about it for two weeks. And that's my decision." I said sure.

"Well." said the director who grabbed Tio who wanted to talk. "If you agree to it, you'll just have to ask Clara to back out of this contract."

"Well, I guess, I don't need to call her anymore. Why didn't the directors ask him to step down. Why do I have to be made to bother like this?!" My heart grumbles.

But I just dared to say: "Okay,"

The director handed me a file for Clara's contract resignation and a full contract submission. Then Tio and I greeted the Director, and walked out of the room.

🌹🌹🌹

ii

In the company waiting room 0000. I invited Tio to chat for a while with the intention of asking for her help so that she would explain the contents of this affidavit and ask for Clara's signature.

But Tio refused. He really didn't want to deal with a fine that would most likely trouble me. Tio was still adamant about asking me to continue with Clara, so that the script would be completed quickly, before the stipulated time. End of January next year, 2019.

Feeling free keeps forcing her. I switched to someone else. Ask for help Mas Beni, Mr. Heru, and Mr. Zurri. But the three of them refused for the same reason as Tio.

"I think I should call Clara. I'm sorry Lutfi, but I was really forced to."

I opened Clara's e-mail. Typing a message for him about me asking him to back out of the contract and me who will bear all the risks. Then coupled with a photo of a letter of resignation from the contract given by the previous Director.

Message sent. It didn't take long for me to get a reply from Clara. He replied:

"I don't understand. Clearly it's direct. But not now, I'm in need. I'll call you later."

I didn't answer. Struck it. And lay down on the bed. The pain begins to spread throughout the body. It was as if all my fatigue during the 3 days of traveling and the search for Lutfi in Singapore had come together into one.

I stretched, stretched my body to relax the tense muscles. Once, twice, three times, and I stopped after my waist felt more sore and painful.

Am I old? In fact, my age in 2018 has just stepped on 22 years—pas class X High School is indeed the youngest, fifteen years—What age is it said to be old to make me waist pain? Hmmm. Could there be a problem with my spinal cord? Ah, I hope not.

I've read that low back pain is caused by things beyond the underlying disease. Examples include excessive activity such as exercising hard or lifting weights too often, sitting and lying down for long periods, sleeping in an uncomfortable position, improper use of a backpack, or chiropractic manipulation.

In the above, it may be that excess activity falls within the criteria that I am currently experiencing. But, if my guess is correct, it's a spinal cord problem. I must quickly deal with it.

If damage to brain tissue can cause paralysis, impaired sensibility, vision and other disorders. Then damage to the spinal cord can cause limb paralysis, difficulty defecating or urinating or unable to hold pee or defecate, depending on the location of the damage that occurs in the spinal cord itself.

In that case, indeed I for 2 weeks can not defecate. And only pee most often once a day. Isn't that weird?

I mean, I'm used to pooping every day, and peeing at least 5 times a day. Yes, right, every before fardhu prayer I usually have to pee first.

So, it wouldn't hurt if I guessed my waist pain right now includes symptoms of damage to the spinal cord. Although I hope it's just regular gout.

I closed and regulated my breath. Try to make yourself as comfortable as possible. Not long after that I fell asleep.

🌹🌹🌹

iii

I woke up after a hand fell on the back of my right hand. His five fingers came in and completed my finger. I looked at the owner, he, "Lutfi!"

Lutfi smiled at me, then looked towards the swamp on the ripening side of Jatilawang rice field. "I didn't know," he said at last. "you can find me."

"Ne-nemuin you? Yes timing? How-how? Seingetku I'm sleeping in the room? When did I find you? Is this just a dream, again?" My heart raises questions that I cannot answer.

Lutfi's left hand grabbed the phone from inside the backpack. Tapping his sister until I heard a music that I used to sing as a lullaby for her, which I had sung at the school anniversary event for her. "About Missing" Di Muhammad Devirzha's.

*The first has gone

The sun is no longer shining

I don't know when

'I remember about you again

'I just kept quiet

Grasping

All yearning

Every night

Want you to come

And present in my dreams

Longs

And time will answer

My meeting and your

Till now

I'm still here

'I just kept quiet

Grasping

All yearning

Every night

Want you to come

And present in my dreams

Longs

And your shadow

Will always be in my heart

My promise will be to come home with you

'I just kept quiet

Grasping

All yearning

Every night

Want you to come

And present in my dreams

'I just kept quiet

Grasping

All yearning

Every night

Want you to come

And present in my dreams

Always in my dreams

Miss*

Birds chirping loudly accompany instruments that flow melodious and soothing. The wind blew away the dry leaves and made a path for them to dance in the air. The golden orange glow from the sunset also brings a romantic feel for us both—aku and Lutfi. Of course, also for couples who are spending their time while enjoying the sunset at the Situ Bamban Swamp.

"What does my sire keep, huh?" Lutfi.

"Hmmm.... What?" I'm back with nanya.

"You,"

"You?"

"You're Gilang!" lutfi exclaimed while patting my left shoulder.

"He," I laughed.

"Hmmm...." murmured with an irritated face. "continues to be like this forever what is it?!"

"Want to be Malinkundang?" I'm nanya.

"Cook being Malinkundang?" Lutfi behind nanya.

"Well, forever sitting."

"So that rock?" He's making.

"Yes" I replied.

Lutfi again patted me on the shoulder slowly. "Seriously, uh...."

"He," I laughed. "I'll try to keep going with you."

"I'm suddenly gone, how?"

"Cochet? Money, is it easy?" I said taunting.

But that answer wasn't from me right now, I couldn't even control my body and my speech. Could this be a memory? A dream?

"Say!" snapped Lutfi.

"He," I laughed.

"Seriously, uh...."

"Yes,"

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I will continue to be with you. If you say yes I will continue to seek you." I explained.

"Promise?" lutfi Pinta.

"I promise,"

"Promise not to give up on me?"

"I promise I won't give up on you."

"Promise not to cheat even if I don't know where?"

"I promise I won't cheat even if you don't know where to go."

Lutfi smiled at me who also threw a smile at him. "Thank you" said Lutfi.

"Sama-sama," I said.

"So if I say, can you find me?" Lutfi returned to his previous topic.

"During this time, play hide and seek you lose continuously, right?" I'm mocked.

Lutfi patted my shoulder. "A snob!"

"He, uh,"

"What style do you use to always know where I am?"

"Stright?"

"Yes," Angguk Lutfi.

"Straight... I love Lutfiii!!!" I screamed to make us the center of attention.

"Don't go fast, huh! I don't know." said the spoiled Lutfi.

"He, uh,"

"Suddenly you can't find me, how?" he asked after all the views were no longer fixed on us.

"Imust be!" I'm trying to deny.

"Truly, you know, yeah!" Lutfi. "Tell me later until you can't find me!"

"Yes... You don't accidentally leave, dong." I asked.

"Ih, yeah it's up to me, dong! He he he,"

Suddenly the wind blew strong, very strong, so tight that it scattered hundreds of dry leaves around us, until then everything turned all white.

"What's going on? Where am I?"

I started to step up, trying to get out of the white room. When both eyes saw the figure of Lutfi. I ran and tried to call him. But, he did not turn around, still stepping away.

"What's? What the hell is going on? Lutfi, please don't go, don't leave me!"

I tripped and fell, falling that did not hit alas—stop, as if I had just plunged from the top of a building thousands of meters high, exceeding the top of the highest mountain in the world.

At first I thrashed, trying to stop this senseless incident. At the very least, I was trying to get out of dreamland. But, after my various efforts and fruitless, I just kept quiet while enjoying the view of the white sky in the all-white room.

I looked up while breathing. Instantly there was a piece of paper that fell not far from me. Quickly I grabbed it. I saw a piece of writing there, a form I knew very well. "This, Lutfi's writing!"

Then, in the condition that kept falling I read it:

"*Thinking Hard"

If I can no longer melt your heart with my words and love. Will your heart be for me?

If I can't give you anything anymore. Will you continue with me?

If I can't understand you anymore. Can you be patient and hold on for me?

If I don't call you anymore. Will you keep looking for me?

If everything I have is a mistake because of the curse of my life. How are you going to live your life*?

I'm bowed. With the water coming out of the corner of my eye. Feeling Lutfi's departure was caused by my selfishness. Always wanting to win on your own in everything. Now, I'm crying.

These tears bear silent witness to how much longing and regret has incarnated in my life.

"Lutfi, please forgive me and come back."