Lutfi Gilang's

10. Crossbow away

i

At school, Thursday, if you meet me, I might see you look moody. It is, and this body is also lethargic. Feelings of worry that are tattered with guilt, become a crisis that engulfs the mind completely.

I await the arrival of Gilang. But until the break bell rang, Gilang did not also appear. I guess, she didn't go to school because she didn't want to see me. I disappointed him. So it's all clear, that Gilang must have seen the incident yesterday, when I walked together the same Kelvin.

But, where is Gilang?

I suddenly remembered Ateg. I could have asked him because he's a friend of Gilang Junior High School. Although he does not live in a house with Gilang, maybe Ateg can give Gilang number.

After I asked, I just sat back in my chair. Trying calling. And the one who answered was the voice of the woman.

“Towered number, not listed..”.

Closed it. I think the number times that Ateg gave me had not been used for a long time. I'm getting weaker, even I fell asleep during the lesson.

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ii

Gilang suddenly sat next to me when I woke up to the sound of a bell. I thought it was the sound of a break bell.

Somewhat frantically, I hurried to wash my face and justify my appearance. I was about to ask him to talk, but Gilang suddenly left.

What's wrong with you, Gilang? Are you really angry?

I went to Gyan: “Yan, Gyan...”.

He turned the body. “Iya, why? Already awake?”

“He he he.”

“You've caught Gilang's disease, what?”

“Means?”

“Sleep in class.”

“Internally!”

Gyan laughed, so did I.

“Eh, to the canteen yuk, you haven't eaten, have you?” bring him up by getting up.

“Wait a moment.” I said.

“What?”

“Call, when to come?”

“Hmmm Gyan seemed to think as his eyes looked at the wall clock. Then back to looking at me. “Around ten.”

“So much?!” I was shocked and didn't believe it.

“Iya,”

“Why said?”

Gyan shook his head. “Ga tau. He just put the paper to Mr. Edi, continue to sit so aja.”

“Ga punished?”

“Engga tuh.”

“Yuk kekantin.” Kelvin suddenly arrives with Arya.

“Yuk,” says Gyan.

I got up and followed their steps with a question mark mind.

Not usually Gilang came late, even very late. Does that have anything to do with yesterday's problem? If that's true, I'm very, very sorry Gilang.

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iii

Since then, there has been no movement from Gilang that has anything to do with me. Even every time I called him in class he didn't hear, and he stayed asleep.

I'm still thinking, lest Gilang really see me both walk the same Kelvin. Or maybe he doesn't want to be with me anymore.

Or what? I don't know! I don't know! I don't even know why it makes me sad.

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iv

In the days that followed, Gilang moved further away. I can even consider it a snob category.

There was nothing else Gilang did for me, as many things he gave secretly, that I had obtained before.

He never went to the cafeteria again. She preferred to continue sleeping in class, and ignored my calls to talk to her.

Wh why? I don't know why!

I just thought he saw me walk with Kelvin. Uda, that's tok.

Actually, if you can, I really want to talk to him: “Gilaaaang, I beg you. Don'tgo. Don't go so far. Tolooooong.... with my explanation first.”.

But I just kept quiet, until unconsciously my tears dripped.

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Feeling guilty, I put Lutfi's diary back into my cloak pocket that time, the wind was a little strong, indeed, and I couldn't stand it in the cold weather—mistaken by the sadness that spilled from his yard. I was well aware of my own contribution to Lutfi's grief.

Lutfi was right, I just left without wanting to know how it really happened. As a selfish boy I used to think of it as a sign that he had already chosen another man, his partner.

Their togetherness, only caused inconvenience to me. Until inevitably I have to stem all the turmoil of passionate taste to be with Lutfi first. For me, when I was a teenager, love didn't have to be. I can be happy when I see Lutfi happy with his choice.

That, and I'm ashamed to admit it, is the meaning of my jealousy.

I got up, because I felt like it was getting late. Stepping towards the dwelling I occupied for a while. I can't explain how and where my house is right now, because I don't want to, the book I'm rewriting, this, it's going to change and discuss the issues about me in my 9-year life.

Arriving home, after I gave the favorite fruit of a middle-aged woman who lives alone in front of my room—she was left alone by her family because of an accident—aku back on my desk. Rewrite what I feel, and what is written in my birthday gift.

I want, everybody reads it. I want, everyone knows, that we, me and Lutfi were in love in High School.

Such a powerful sense of power, that I myself was at a loss how to express it in words. One thing I know, in a still insensitive heart, “Life is mysterious, as is love. If love for me isn't mysterious, it's definitely not love from you, right, Gilang?”

I laughed a little while remembering it. After all, that was the sentence he said to me. I really did not expect, she had the same feeling as me for a long time, and more than that, it was as if she was letting me sprinkle that feeling on her slowly.

Ah, I'm getting impatient, to get all this done.

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The next two days. I finally finished writing a few chapters, which most people think is an amazing story. They asked me to finish this book immediately. Not a few publishers who snatched the manuscript I was hoping for.

But I still haven't decided, because anyway, I don't know what kind of book I'm writing. That answer is only in the words on my birthday.

So, this morning, after the Fajr prayer, I reopened the Lutfi diary and read it.

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v

On the occasion of meeting Ateg at the library, again, I asked for time for nanya. Yes, he said.

“Emang why?”

“Anyway, no, yes?” my door.

“OK, deh.” said. “You want what?”

“You know, why did Gilang go as far as me?”

“I even just found out that he's making it to you.”

Hearing that makes me feel sluggish.

“Oya, this morning, I saw, Cute again chat with sister Geta.”

“Crack Geta?” many ensure.

“Iya, chairman of OSIS.”

“Call know him?”

“Iya, first, MOS time, brother Geta one group is equal Gilang.” said Ateg.

“Oh, that nyamarga, yes?” I just remembered the new student who had an old face, wearing glasses, entering the ranks of the new students. At first I thought he didn't go to class, it turns out he's the head of OSIS who's a nyamar.

“Iya, right.” Ateg.

“What's the connection, the chairman of OSIS Sama Gilang ngejauhin me?”

“So gini, I eyed their conversation in front of the OSIS room this morning.”

“Masa?” I don't believe Ateg's explanation.

“Iya.” said make sure.

“Call also in class ten.” hours

“Hah? How can?” Ateg nanya, his tone was much more shocked.

“I also don't know.”

“But, before entering, I actually saw Gilang, kok, again chat him with the chairman of OSIS.”

Actually, I still don't believe it, but I agreed that Ateg would tell Gilang talks with the head of OSIS.

“So gini, if it is not wrong, said Gilang: ‘Call to all students, do not disturb Lutfi. She's dating Kelvin.”

“Hah?!” I'm shocked.

“Iya. He said it.”

“Terus why tell it to sister Geta everything?!”

“Kan brother Geta, the chairman of all the chairmen in this school. Yes, maybe it.. he wants your relationship with Kelvin ga bullied with other students.”.

“Whataa?!” I shouted making the perpus officer look at me sharply with earlier some students exclaiming. “Sstt!” Covering their mouths with their index fingers.

I laughed softly. “He really said that to sister Geta?” I was a little whispering.

“Iya.” Ateg answered to make sure. “It seems, anyway, because of that, deh, he keeps you.”

“Kok?! Engga, ih!” I said pissed. “Kok he can think that, anyway?”

“I know.” said Ateg. “You are often together Kelvin, kali.”

“Iya, anyway.”

“Ya people can also think you guys are dating.”

“By, Engga, Ateg! Ih!” I said even more annoyed. “Call to him!”

“Kok, me? You also sit together.” said Ateg confused.

“Just tell me to Gilang, Ateg! Plisss...” I pleaded with both hands, and the head was made to bow a little.

“Hmmm.

“Asik! Thanks Ateg.”

“Sama-sama. But later tonight buy me a meal, huh? He he he.”

“Siap.” I replied excitedly then we laughed.

“Eh, by the way, what did I say to him?”

“Aduh.... how the hell? Yes said that earlier.” I said a bit upset.

“What?”

“I'm dating Kelviiiiin!” I exclaimed.

Back the call of Sstt! Raining me. I just laughed a little.

“Iya already, don't scream.”

“But actually said, loh!”

“Iya, later I say.” replied Ateg.

“Hust! If you forget, I did not buy you a meal at lamongan.”

“Seriously? Would you like me to eat there?” Ateg. His face suddenly became excited.

“Yes, but say yes. Pliiissss....” my door back to weld.

“You ngarep yes, so his girlfriend Gilang?”

“Apaan, anyway, Ateg, ih!” I said shyly, then we laughed.

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vi

I know now. Pantesan aja Gilang stay away.

I'm not dating Kelvin, Gilang! Time yes, because I didn't accidentally go home together, you thought I was dating him.

Uhh!

Anyway, Ateg has to tell Gilang that I'm not dating Kelvin! Got to! Compulsory! Point.

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vii

Since then, from tomorrow, I've never been to the same cafeteria as Kelvin.

Every morning, break or empty hour, and the next two days, I always try to refuse Kelvin's invitation to go to the cafeteria or library. To the extent that, I often choose silence, nemenin Gilang sleep in class.

Exasperated that if I stay in class, Kelvin also likes to follow the class. Forced to go, I go, pretend to go to the toilet, or where, anyway, in order to get away from Kelvin, let Gilang know that I'm not dating Kelvin, and avoid also the rumors that circulated about me the same Kelvin dating.

I'm sure, after that, Kelvin felt like I had changed. Actually, I feel sorry for him. But biarin! Just don't Gilang who changed the same as me!