Love Without But

Recognition

***

My cry came to a halt for a moment because of the ringing of the cell phone from the top of the closet table. The flattened object then incised the green button on the screen.

"City ... Assalamualaikum, sorry with whom?" ask me to try as much as possible to neutralize the voice so as not to sound like the voice of someone who is crying.

"Waalaikumsalam, my co-worker Mas Agung, Mbak, just wanted to tell about one problem that maybe Mbak himself did not know."

"Sorry, Mom, what's the problem, huh?"

"Yesterday afternoon Mr. Agung was called to the master teacher's room, he said there was a case with Bu Mega."

"What case, then, Mom?" With a thumping heart I asked.

"According to other colleagues he said there was a special relationship between Mbak's husband and Bu Mega."

My heart immediately beat. It was as if there was an invisible sharp object slicing inside the chest cavity. The body trembled between enduring disappointment and injury. It was obvious that all of his attitudes had been constantly changing lately towards me. Crushed melted down this heart taste.

All the sacrifices I had once offered for him seemed to be in vain. In the past, I was so sure that I chose her to live together in the future and hoped to create a happy and harmonious housewife. As much as possible I broke away from Iwan by having to sacrifice his feelings.

Not only the feelings of Iwan, but also the feelings of Ifa, her own biological sister who had to give up her royal man, had to be a match with me.

I really did not expect the slightest bit with the rotten attitude of Mas Agung during this time behind me. In the past, I was so sure of him. That he would never make me this sick. Because in my opinion, people who know a little about religion and are always diligent in following studies seem to think a thousand times if they have to do negative things. Such as hurting a partner or other acts that violate sharia. But all those forecasts missed expectations.

I was only able to swallow this bitter pill by myself. Because it is very unlikely that all these problems I told my mother and Abah there. What do they say later? But obviously I don't want to share this burden of heart with the two people who should now be able to happiness it. Mother and Abah had already suffered enough with the test coming from the other direction. Don't let me put the burden on his shoulders back.

***

Mas Agung entered the room without even turning to me who was still late with this difficult to interpret thoughts and feelings. I saw that he was packing up to perform the Asar prayers at the nearest mosque from the house we were staying in.

"Sister, I want to go home" I asked trying to hold the turmoil in my heart.

"Lha, why? Not yesterday left here with Madam Mila, why not go home with her later?" Dahi Mas Agung wrinkled still with an indifferent look. There was no look of worry in his eyes towards me who was still sobbing. My eyeballs feel out of shape anymore. So it swells like a bee stung because it is taken too long to drain tears with a sleeping position.

"No, brother, I want to go home now!" my toilet with a high voice.

He gasped when he heard my voice.

"No need to drive, I can still go home by myself!" yells restrained.

I started packing all the clothes into the travel bag. There was not a single piece of clothing left in the closet. Let Mas Agung understand that he is really disappointed with all his attitude towards me. Especially about the problem that was informed by his own coworkers via telephone.

This heart is already round to go from his life. It was as if he did not know and did not realize with all my sacrifices. I am willing to leave my job and family far away just to be able to live with the man I have been proud of everyone and family there.

However, the reply was very surprising and made me not believe that he had betrayed behind me.

With my eyes, I asked to be escorted to the terminal to find a bus that would take me to my hometown.

But before that, he took me to his parents' house. Tell them I'm asking to go home.

Both of Mas Agung's parents were shocked after his son expressed the intention of taking me to the terminal.

"Aren't you waiting two more days, Nduk? go home with Madam Mila and her family. Yesterday time went here, right, together. Time to go home alone?" advice, sir, we sit around in the living room.

I sat in a chair opposite Mas Agung. My mom and dad sat on the side. There are only four of us in this house. Because Madam Mila is going to take her son to play outside the house. While Mbak Sukma is somehow located where. Ever since I came here with Madam Mila I have never met Ms. Sukma. I never asked him about his existence either. Only heard from the conversation between Madam Mila and Mother that Mbak Sukma again calmed down because she was left married again by her husband from Jogja. While his two children were taken by his grandmother to Jogja. Taken care of and placed there.

"Where, Dhin, can you, wait to go home with Madam Mila later?" ask me to repeat my question.

"Dhinil wants to go home now, ma'am, sir." I answered while looking down. Dropping the view towards the floor. Precisely hiding a warm liquid that began to feel filled both eyeballs. Sometimes I wipe it with a tissue in my hand.

"What's the matter, anyway, actually Gung, kok, your wife suddenly asked to come home suddenly like this? You guys were feeling okay yesterday." I heard the voice of the Father who gave a question to Mas Agung.

Mas Agung took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before he answered the question from the father.

"There's nothing. I myself am confused by his will," said Mas Agung. His eagle eyes stared intently at me.

I threw away the look when our gazes met. Either the answer he threw just now is the truth or just pretending to avoid the problems he created himself.

"It's impossible if it's okay for Dhinil to behave strangely like this. You two are both grown up. Not teenagers anymore. Even though your household is still in the learning stage because it has only been married for a few months. But, if there is a problem should be solved with a cold head. Communicate from heart to heart. Throw away the high selfishness in each one." You counseled me and Mas Agung wisely and at length.

However, it does not stop changing my unanimous decision.

Connect ....