Love Without But

New Sheet in the capital

***

Somehow my heart again felt sore when reading the caption Kak Iwan on the social media timeline. Sin and guilt begin to cloud the feeling. Especially considering when Ifa berated and cornered me over the phone like yesterday.

There was a sense of insecurity infiltrating my little heart imagining how broken and disappointed Kak Iwan felt at this time. Although one side of the heart condemns and blames the man himself for never trying to give me firmness and certainty. So that now I was taken and taken away by another man from his life who could only give an uncertain hope.

'Astaghfirullahaladzim .. why do I still think about and cry for other men, while at this time my status has become his legal wife Mas Agung.' I gasped and privileged in my heart when I heard a mistake that was carried away by feeling because of reading Kak Iwan's status on facebook.

"Why from then on it looks sad and daydreaming. Don't feel right, stay here? What are the thoughts and interests of Mang santri?" The question of the Great Mas suddenly broke my daydream that was still drifting with my own feelings.

"No, no, Adek no longer sad let alone think of others who are not clear and not important." I stammered in answering his question. Trying to hide my true feelings still can't move on from my past man. A man who once filled the heart long before knowing the figure of a man who is now legally my husband.

"So, really, no more lies?" the insistence of the Great Mas made me rattled with the sharp look of his eagle eyes.

"Yes, right, now there is a big brother, the best husband and most handsome pastimya of anyone," I said reassuring the thick-browed man.

"Yo, wis, we will wander around to the house of bulik and other brothers, yes, would like to come, no?" let him melt the atmosphere.

"Emh .. Yes, Brother, Adek would like to come. But by the way, in terms of what event? Isn't this a lebaran?"  

"In order to celebrate and introduce my new wife, dong!"

"New wife? Brother used to have an old wife, did he?"

"Yes, no, Dhinil Khoirunnisa is my first and last wife."

"Aamiin .. " muttered expectantly.

"Yep, leave now!"

"Wait outside first, yeah, Adek want to change clothes first."

"The husband himself can't see his own wife changing clothes, anyway? Kan, there is only Brother Doang in this room," said Mas Agung teasing .

"Yes, come out first, brother! I don't usually change clothes in front of other people." I expelled.

"What's? anybody else? Hey, I'm your most handsome husband, sweet lady!" exclaiming Mas Agung while pinching the gnarled cheeks chabyku.

"Cn ... Big brother flirty, ah, hold-hold cheek everything!" my sulk pushed his sturdy body out the door of the room.

Though this heart blossoms gets such treatment from him. Such is the attitude displayed by some women like me always others outside the heart when in front of his man.

Fifteen minutes later, I exited the room following Mas Agung who was waiting on the front porch of the house.

Mas Agung observed my appearance from head to toe without blinking.

"Yes, from the first time we met until now has been a wife, the feeling has never been squirm Adek wear trousers. Not like other girls even wear hijab but his subordinates wear pants, that's." Mas Agung expressed his curiosity with my appearance that everywhere and everyday always put on a long skirt.

"Yeah, Adek never used to wear pants, because it is common to wear skirts from the school era."

"Why, if you wear pants?"

"Don't know, it's not comfortable when making, maybe because it's unusual and usually always wear a skirt," I replied giving an excuse.

"Keep, Adek has never had pants, dong?"

"Have. Sleeping pants."

"My wife is so feminine. And that's what Brother likes."

"It's okay, tho, gombalin wife herself, tuh .... "

"Stop!" cut me shut his mouth with a palm.

"Duuh .. mesraanya, nih, newlyweds on where to go?" asked a mother who passed in the front yard of the house when she accidentally saw the behavior of the two of us just now. The spontaneous one made both my cheeks feel red.

"He .. he .. yes, yes, ma'am, just want to take a wife out" replied Mas Agung.

"Sister, anyway, make Adek shy earlier," I sulked.

"But, no shame, right?"

"Shame, tau!" answer judes.

Mas Agung just laughed crisply in response to me.

***

"Kiye Bojomu, yo, Great Mas?" ask a man whose house we visited.

"Excuse me, sir," replied Mas Agung smiling kindly.

"Courtesy of temen yo, wong'e," said the father with his accent and thick language.

"Yes, kiye mandan gering," replied Mas Agung while gently stroking my shoulder sitting next to him.

"Oh my God, Brother! really use it anyway, why Adek sick," my mind in the heart.

Even though I come from the Sundanese tribe, I understand a little bit what the host and husband were talking about.

Once considered enough long chat ngaler ngidul. And there are three houses that you stopped by, Mas Agung also said goodbye to his brother and invited me back home.

***

When I got home, I kept quiet without saying a word that came out of my mouth 

"Why, Dek, is there something wrong yo, same brother?" asked Mas Agung who might be astonished to find his wife suddenly silent as usual he saw.

"It's okay!" jutek.

"Terus .. why dong, from earlier, kok, diem aja, usually also chatty bawel?" curious scabbard.

"Lagian was brother did not make Adek sick, but, right, Adek healthy walafiat no longer sick or carefree. Want to do that, yeah, have a sickly wife?" I said at length to take out the strands that from earlier made this heart upset.

"Hc .. ha .. ha .... " The man with a sharp nose even laughed out loud without sin.

"Owalaah .. It turns out Adek misunderstood, tho, from earlier? In java, tuh, gering means skinny, not sick rich in sunda."

"What's really, brother?" I just don't believe.

We chuckled together, laughing at the absurdity and misunderstanding of the language defined by my own thinking.

"Then ask, why, ye, this is the story?" ledek Mas Agung while scrambling my hair.

"Rather than being ashamed to ask astray in the room, hayoo .. "my reply was not to be outdone.

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