Love Without But

Willy's anger

***

[New brother gets home. Now take a shower]

The chat reply from Mas Agung made my worry change in relief after almost two hours waiting for a reply from him.

I started thinking normally again. Not like before. All the bad feelings about Mas Agung disappeared instantly. Because judging from the contents of the chat he sent I concluded his attitude had returned as usual again. Not as indifferent as yesterday when he left me.

***

Six months have me and Mas Agung far apart from each other. Married only a few months already have LDR-an it does not taste very good. Because there is not much time to just make it a place to complain and share flavors. It is also often a misunderstanding between us when I feel unnoticed again.

Like this morning there was a feeling of obstruction because it was holding back the upset was also sad with his attitude which I think is not as usual. No more alarm chat from him that he always routinely sent almost every before the entry of dawn to wake me up. Sometimes until a day and night without any news as if his busyness there is very time consuming so that he forgets that here there is a figure of a wife who really needs his attention.

[Dhin, would you like to come to Java? If you want it on Tuesday tomorrow Ma'am wait here, yes! We will leave here]

The chat from Madam Mila made me jump a little. My heart is blossoming because there is hope to meet the husband.

[Yes, Ma'am, Dihinil will go there tomorrow, yes] I replied to Madam Mila's chat.

Brave to convey a request from Madam Mila to Mother. So that the woman whose hair is partially bleached does not mind and can give permission to this daughter to follow the husband.

My hope after me and Mas Agung meet again so it can dispel the disappointment of always feeling unnoticed as long as I am far away from him. After I showed the chat Madam Mila who was directly read by Mother. Mother also agreed with the record of leaving for Jawaanya must be together with the family of Madam Mila.

***

I had expressed my heart a little disappointed with the attitude of Mas Agung lately to Madam Mila. Whether intentional or not. Without me, the one-child woman told the past of Mas Agung first before embracing and meeting me.

Madam Mila told me. If Mas Agung used to be almost one more step towards the guarantee with Ifa. The meeting began when at the same campus they were united in a group of KKN activities before graduation. Maybe because of the intense togetherness between them at that time until the feelings of mutual love and mutual admiration until Mas Agung intends directly to propose Ifa after the completion of the script trial. But destiny says something else. His proposal was rejected by the Ifa family on the grounds that Mas Agung could not provide dowry and reception fees as requested by his father Ifa.

"At that time Agung was down and not out of the house until one Sunday" explained Mila.

Jealousy envelops this heart hearing the words of Madam Mila. I just knew so deeply it turned out the feelings of Mas Agung to his beloved girl before he knew me. Until his loss made him so. Then his recently changed attitude towards me has something to do with his past feelings? Ah .. I don't know that I myself am only able to figure it out myself without any definite proof. Although actually I feel very tormented in the condition of the heart as it is today.

"Yes, Dhin, if you want to take a break directly to the room, it's okay, so you can immediately sleep straight on the body" advised Mbak Mila to me. I agreed and headed straight to the room. Which turned out to be followed by Mas Agung from the back.

"Wife kangen ..". "the whisper behind the ear that makes this cheek immediately feels hot. I was so grateful in my heart that after meeting the tall man, his attitude could just disappear. Not as far apart as a few months ago.

By noon Mas Agung brought me back to the empty house we once occupied when I was first brought here. Because Madam Mila with her son and husband plan to settle until the next fourteen days later at the house of the Father.

***

"Sir, Adek kok, suddenly want to eat seafood, yes, now," I told Mas Agung who was busy with a cellphone in his hand.

"What seafood?" tanyanya. Without switching from objects that are in the grasp.

"Yes, whatever, brother, like grilled squid or something, that's it. What matters is seafood."

"Emang should, yes, eat that?" ask again.

"Yes, I just want to, anyway," I said hoping he would agree with what I just asked.

"It's hard to find food like that. Where do you wanna go? If fried rice is the same as batagor a lot of tuh, in the density," he reasoned. Because I know for sure that around Suwuk beach which is only three kilo meters from this house there is a restaurant that provides seafood menu. Or in the crowded market area of Gombong can definitely find it. But, the answer just now really made me feel disappointed at once. Either because of the innate pregnancy hormone or because it is my feeling that is very easy baper. So that when the desire of the heart is rejected by him immediately feel sad.

"Come, brother, find first. Later the buy also use Adek money, kok, not Brother's money." I'm still trying to sulk.

"If you have money instead of buying food, then mending is stored for other purposes or bought only," he denied without caring about my feelings.

I feel the attitude of Mas Agung is starting to feel awkward again. Not like yesterday when I first came here. In a matter of days it had returned indifferent as if he did not heed the mood of the wife who felt disappointed with her attitude.

Because all forms of desires and expectations that are trivial nature does not produce results. To dispel the raging feeling in the heart I choose to shut myself in the room. Only able to decompose tears spilling the raging taste inside the chest cavity.

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