Love Time White Blue

Which I Want

My best friend's photo post is, Mira. At first I never believed how he would get in touch with Halwan. At first, I felt jealous of them. However, I thought this was my chance to get far away with her.

That night I almost cried, what did I really want? ask my heart.

I always felt that Halwan should not be with anyone else, but I could not accept him completely. Halwan's friends always sent me messages and always persuaded me to come back with him.

Fachri and Mizan are close friends of Halwan as well. I always ask or confide in them both.

It's been less than 1 week I haven't communicated with Halwan. I am getting used to it without it. The days I spent felt different. Every night there was no notification message I was waiting for. Even though I had time to communicate with other men. For that moment I didn't think of having a boyfriend anymore. It feels lazy to have a relationship again.

There was a day when the halwan choked me back, as he had previously talked about him breaking up with Mira. My feelings at the time were okay. I feel ordinary. I even know Mira, she definitely didn't mean to want to be in the middle of my relationship with the halwan.

My determination at that time was already unanimous, I did not want to be a part of halwan's life. I just feel like I'm the cause of trouble. At first the halwan had to lose one of his friends, Yosef, just because of me. ahh. maybe better myself thought I at that time.

Every day I would rather hang out with my friends at school. I was also unsuspecting even though Yosef was always behind my class, which was probably not as usual.

coming home from that extra lesson was exhausting, after I took a shower and ate I briefly opened my phone. Although there was not always a whatsapp message, but I was always curious and opened it, hahah. After I open there is a whatsapp message from the upung.

" I don't know, I'll forget later. " Answer me

" Oh yeah. Ai what are you again? " tell up

" Nothing else" answered me

" Ai, I still like you. But you were then after Joseph, you were in the same relationship with Halwan. And now I'm trying to do this. I don't expect you to want to be with me. Well, I just want you to know" So message up.

I feel like I'm going to be back in the face of the old situation. Where I only date people who are their close friends. I tried so hard to explain to the upung, that I needed some time alone. And Upung did not force me to have to with him.

yes, the core upung want to accompany me even though we are both just ordinary friends.

Not every night I communicate with the halwan and the upung. They contact me rarely, and I think they know that I can't accept anyone anymore.

One night I and upung communicate through whatsapp, not usually my chat and with his rather long. Although I know that recently upsung also broke up with his girlfriend. He told me about the reason why he could break up so, only this time I heard the ups vent on whatsapp.