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Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi…
إنَّ الـحَمْدَ لِلّهِ نَـحْمَدُهُ وَنَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ، وَنَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا، مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ، وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَن لاَّ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ الله وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُـحَمَّداً عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُه
There are several suggestions that are important to note by every husband and wife, both newly married and long married :
1. It is obligatory to establish the household above the religion of Allah
This means that initially he is obliged to fear Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala, obligated him to fear Allah, so build a household above the religion of Allah, on the Quran, on the Sunnah, and on the Sunnah, upholding Tawhid, upholding Sunnah, keeping the family from shirk, keeping the family from doing bid’ah, it was from the beginning of marriage. From the beginning of marriage, so antum early marriage, reminded a wife to fear God, husband also to fear, then remind wife “your greatest obligation is to obey the husband, husband, first time out of marriage contract, your greatest obligation is obedient to the husband, your husband your heaven and your hell !” , remind him (wife), it is reminded.
Then she was ordered to obey her husband, obey Allah, stay away from Allah, shirk, then perform the five prayers. Notice that his prayer, then invited him to pray sunnah especially midnight.
Prophet Shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam prayed :
رَحِمَ اللَّهُ رَجُلًا قَامَ مِنْ اللَّيْلِ فَصَلَّى وَأَيْقَظَ امْرَأَتَهُ فَصَلَّتْ فَإِنْ أَبَتْ رَشَّ فِي وَجْهِهَا الْمَاءَ رَحِمَ اللَّهُ امْرَأَةً قَامَتْ مِنْ اللَّيْلِ فَصَلَّتْ وَأَيْقَظَتْ زَوْجَهَا فَصَلَّى فَإِنْ أَبَى رَشَّتْ فِي وَجْهِهِ الْمَاءَ
“May Allah grant the mercy of a man who wakes up at night and prays, then wakes his wife and then prays. If his wife refuses, she splashes water on his face. And may Allah grant the grace of a woman who wakes up at night and prays, and wakes her husband up and prays. If her husband refuses she splashes water on his face.” [HR.Ibn Majah :1336]
See also: Brief and Practical Lecture Sets
God loves a man who wakes up in the middle of the night and then prays, then he wakes his wife, God loves a woman who wakes up in the middle of the night and wakes her husband up. The hadith is in this book (Sakinah Family Guide – Chapter:12.d), which is asked for what ? to wake the husband, wake the wife.
2. Building on the right character
It means we are obliged to uphold noble character in our household. This is important, because many wives or husbands do not uphold this morality. This morality is important, because mu’min perfect his faith is the best moral.
Nabi Shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam said :
أَكْمَل الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهمْ خُلُقًا، وَخِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ
“The most perfect believer of his faith is the best of his deeds and the kindest of you is the kindest to his wives”
[SV. At-Tirmidhi, 3/466; Ahmad, 2/250 and Ibn Hibban, 9/483. Hadith was declared shahih by Imam at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban and Shaykh al-Albani].
Antum see on pages 180-181, so it is mandatory that we uphold this household above noble character, or are obliged to uphold noble character in our household.
So how's it ?
Like a husband coming home from work, commerce, business, to his house a smile to his wife, enter the house of greeting, a smile to his wife, asking the good to his wife, the wife welcoming the good to her husband, the wife welcoming the good to her husband, please help and others.
Because there are also people who do not have morals, go home with his friends, with his co-workers he can smile, laugh, be friendly, go home to his wife in disobedience, do accuse, scolded, scolded, is there nothing like that ? There's !.
Can't do it ! How he should be gentle to his wife, he (husband) good to his wife because the Prophet links faith with morality
أَكْمَل الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهمْ خُلُقًا، وَخِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ
“The most perfect believer of his faith is the best of his deeds and the kindest of you is the kindest to his wives”
[SV. At-Tirmidhi, 3/466; Ahmad, 2/250 and Ibn Hibban, 9/483. Hadith was declared shahih by Imam at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban and Shaykh al-Albani].
Prophet Shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam said :
خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي
“You guys are the best for his family and I am the kindest person to my family”
[HR At-Thirmidzi no 3895 from the hadiths of Aisha and Ibn Majah no 1977 from the hadith of Ibn Abbas and is narrated by Shaykh Al-Albani (see As-Shihah no 285)].
So if antum to friends, to others it is good, can smile, can offer all kinds, to the wife as well as it should, to the child as well, so it is mandatory to uphold morality. This morality is important, and we must try to improve our morals, because this morality has a heavy scale on doomsday.
The scholars first learn morality (civilized) before studying science, try to learn this, morals are important, how our household is good with our noble character, wife is also so.
3. Mutually understand
That each of us has flaws, giving in to each other, forgiving each other. Watch that !
God tells us to associate with the wife in a way that ma’ruf :
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِنْ كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسٰىٓ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا
“... And get along with them in a proper way. If you do not like them, (then be patient) because you may not like something, but Allah made a lot of good to him”[An-Ni-saa’/4: 19].
A husband cannot vilify his wife, he cannot ! If there is one bad habit or trait, there must be another good one.
Prophet Shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam said:
لَا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَرَ
“Don't a believer hate a believing woman (his wife), if he hates an attitude (sacred) his wife then he will be pleased with his attitude (his master) another”[HR Muslim II/1091 No 1469]
No husband can vilify his wife, if there is one bad character, Allah makes the other good, it is a Muslim history.
4. Help each other in the household
Help each other in the household, help each other, in the household it can not be lust, shoulder to shoulder, take care of children together, in obedience also so remind each other, please help.
For example, her children are many, her husband wants to pay, yes alternately later her husband najai, later his wife najai her husband who holds her children. Please help in kindness, help each other or her husband wants to pray, the wife who holds his child, the wife wants to pray the husband who holds his child.
And this should be able to understand each other, though,
وَتَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْبِرِّ وَالتَّقْوَىٰ
“And please-help you in (working) virtue and piety .” [al-Ma’idah 5 :2]
5. Race in goodness
Husband and wife must continue to compete in goodness, giving much, doing much good, diligently in worship to God.
6. Much remembrance
Read the Qur’an and useful books, husband, wife, child are recommended for much remembrance. Morning and evening dhikr should memorize it. Read the Quran, a husband should read the Quran, wife too, children too, at least a day 1 juz read the Quran is minimal.
Anyway in that house should be a lot of remembrance to Allah, especially in our homes do not leave reading Surah Al-Baqarah, because the devil ran from the house recited Surah Al-Baqarah.
7. Many prayers to God
Do not leave praying for our good, our wives, our children, our parents, keep praying day and night praying.
Among his prayers :
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“Our Robb, bless us and our descendants and our wives our eye conditioners. Make us priests to those who fear Him.” [QC. Al Furqon: 74]
رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِى مُقِيمَ الصَّلٰوةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِى ۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَآءِ
“Yes my Lord, make me and my grandchildren the ones who keep praying, O our Lord, please allow my prayers.” [QC. Ibrahim 14: Verse 40]
“Hopefully our household for the unmarried, facilitated his soul mate by a God of prayer and shalihah.”
“Wedded ones may be given Sakinah Mawaddah Warahmah by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala, given blessing in his household and also given the children who are shalih and shalihah.”
“And also that for those households who are still getting trials, trials, problems, difficulties, there is commotion, may Allah reconcile between them, settle between them, make up among them, Allah gave them ruju’ to goodness. And we ask God that God give us Sakinah Mawaddah Warahmah”
“And also repaired the houses of the houses that there is lack or commotion or dispute, may Allah give them it united their hearts, returned it to the Quran and Sunnah, he said, granted mercy and blessings by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala”
وصل نبينا محمد صل الله عليه وسلم
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“Our Robb, bless us and our descendants and our wives our eye conditioners. Make us priests to those who fear Him.” [QC. Al Furqon: 74]
رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ
“Yes Allah, give Us good in the world, give good in the Hereafter and protect Us from the torment of hell.” [QS. al-Baqarah :201]
سُبْحَانَكَ اللَّهُمَّ وبِحَمْدِكَ ، أشْهَدُ أنْ لا إلهَ إِلاَّ أنتَ أسْتَغْفِرُكَ وَأَتُوبُ إليكَ
“Holy You, O Allah, and by praising You, I testify that there is no god but You. I ask for Your forgiveness and I repent to You”
Wassalamu’alaikum warahmatulli wabarakatuh…
...****************...
Exel yawned, he felt bright Ustadz Amir at his uncle's wedding was so very boring for him. he went out and chose to smoke outside the house.
"It turns out here" Alexa's voice really makes exel shocked.
"What the hell is xa?"
"But mommy came in, soon to be a family photo session"
"Should you come, xa?"
"Astaghfirullah" upset Alexa, when cigarette smoke Exel hit his face "Let's quickly enter" Alexa who was very upset, immediately turned to leave Exel outside the house.
"I want to go home to America, it's so boring here" The real Exel was so upset, he slammed his nipple and stepped on it.
He stepped his foot in with a quick step, he wanted to finish the event and go home. For Exel, sleeping at home is better than going out but only attending boring events like this.
"Om Exel"
Exel turned his head, when his name was called. Exel's eyes immediately saw the little girl was smiling at him while raising her eyebrows.
"Rabbit? you here?"
"Yes" The girl replied with a mouthful of cake. Exel smiled, as he was about to sit down, El's voice could be heard calling out to him from inside the house. So that Exel immediately left Sabrina and entered the house.
"You are so big, Xel" said Zakir when he saw his nephew was almost the same as his.
"Uncle is small" Exel said, chuckling.
Photographers who have been hired by Zakir are now arranging the position of everyone from the official style to the current trendy style.
"Mommy, Exel ahead first" Exel said after a few minutes ago the photo session was completed.
when he came out, the guests were no longer there. Even the chairs there are stacked up. Exel sighed, but he was eager to chat with Sabrina.
...****************...
10 Days passed, Exel who had begun to get used to his boredom could only resign and enjoy it.
Exel realized that in a few days he would return to America. In another sense, his playing and relaxing period would be over.
"Alhamdulillah, You are Accepted in MBA xel" said El suddenly, so that Exel who was focusing on seeing the highest television because of shock.
"Alexa also wants to go to college" Alexa ran from the kitchen, followed by the afifah
"Where can MBA reject Exel pa, Exel is so high and almost perfect" said Exel snobbish.
El sat next to Exel, and then pulled out Exel's hair.
"You are indeed papa's pride" El was very proud of his son "You want to ask me anything from papa?"
"I want to change cars pa, and because the same MBA Uncle Jho's home away. Exel wants to have a home of his own"
"For Papa's car will love, you can choose it yourself later. But, if the problem of the house is difficult xel"
"I don't want to go every day from Uncle's house to MBA pa"
"Near the MBA there is a hotel owned by us xel. You just stay there, and room number 1 is never used"
Exel was silent, still thinking about his papa's offer"
"OK, Exel wants to"
"How about Alexa?" Now it's Alexa's turn to whine.
"Since SD, SMP, and SMA Alexa only Home schooling. Alexa wants to go to college"
Afifah and El looked at each other.
"Kasian Mommy if you live here alone xa"
"Let's go back to the city. Buy a house there, and papa ngajuin move errands"
"No need to move, just here" Tukas Exel made everyone look at him immediately. Wh why? that is the meaning of their eyes.
"I mean Exel, it's like Uncle Zakir if here himself has no brothers"
"when did Exel think of anyone else?"
"Yes this is how Indonesia, wrong attention, not more wrong attention" Exel upset and then moved from his seat "Exel sleepy, just want to sleep"
everyone stared at Exel's freak, what's wrong with him.
"Alexa how's pa?"
"Papa think first yes, you calm down" El then left Alexa and Afifah who are still sitting, said El managed to make Alexa lips immediately monyong. Afifah himself now avoids, so that Alexa does not whine to him.
Papa slalu chose love. Can't be fair to me. Sister Exel slalu can kamana and follow all her will. But me? I never ask for expensive things, but papa is very difficult to obey me.
