I'm Santri?

Encounter

When the morning cannot put me to sleep. When that voice of shahdu was unable to melt me. When the voice of the shahdu cries out to the insects of the night, calling out his Lord. I stood on the cold water, chewing on the night breeze and the morning dew blending in greeting. I was lost in the middle of my crumpled, dusty prayer mat. God I lost in my heart.

My night did not feel like lying down to satisfy myself. One by one, worldly thoughts infiltrate the restless pores. Become a terrible burden piercing to the base of the conscious mind. My passion shuts thousands of doors. Locked almost tightly hard to find a loose hole. God is there.

Poor trace of how many months. Disappear no news I've got. The darkness of the way of life determined me to the point where my tears wept over something that was not. Darkness is so dark a taste in the soul, making up for nothing in the poop. And God is always there.

Please let me go when my dark time comes. I want to reassemble my true self. Not what I know now, not what I was.

Pin it on me when I've built the palace. In the days I stood greeting those who had always been nonexistent. When I smile happily with the one I love.

My night, sorry I didn't meet you. I just want the inner poignancy to vanish. By leaving you I can live with my dreams that I have promised Your Lord. And so, this is my busy hanging in the ugliness of the self-eye that knows nothing more than enough.

The shaking of the body indicates that I must run immediately. A loud call came from above the dome of the dutiful place. The names of the Lord and the Apostle have been mentioned several times. In the beginning and end mediated the invitation to immediately sanctify.

Upright, silent and silent there is no hint of reproach I look at the niar. How to lift a hand full of confidence beautiful rainbow in a blue sky. Beautiful, soothing soul when in one.

My whole body said the same sentence, hoping not to be a mistake.

"Usholi" I said. As an opening for my relationship with the owner of this body. Start your mouth chanting some sacred words. The eye fixed in one flat direction means that it is an homage to the Divine. Honey, all is not in accordance with the flow of my special tone.

My mind floated and God lost it to her.

I still remember my sins in the past. Only because of the loneliness and sadness Usholliku lost only limited to the foot on the holy prayer mat. Maybe it was just my duty as a servant.

I was ashamed of my intentions. But not so I feel. In front of the King, I am not ashamed. It was impolite to make that request.

"God forgive me. I've been like this."

Shame, or do you know a servant? Missing, khusyu' or standing pretend? Worship, charity or not accepted? Valid, void or invisible?

"Sorry!" Say it again.

"My Usholliku is not like them yet. Here I am, Lord, Your despicable servant."

"Sorry! Pardon me! usholliku like this. Not filial."

"Sorry! Pardon me! my usholliku has not been able to exalt You. Not as perfect as your commandments.

Accept my usholliku, though not as whole as Your Apostle. O Lord, All-Other, above all."

Tonight, it's just me and God. I want to be always close to Him. With him, I was so calm. This is my life if I am always with Him. I have to find a place where I have to keep going like this.