I'm Santri?
Mom's Past Story
It hurts and hurts so much when the seed of love we plant in one's heart does not grow. Moreover, love must die because there is not the slightest flush, attention, and loyalty. It was felt by my mother and I.
After the fateful incident, Saeful died. For that, too, Mother told me many stories about him. To my surprise, I honestly said that Saeful was not my real father.
Mom told me a long story, even confusing. Mother said, that Saeful was her ex back when Mom was still sitting on the Junior High School bench. Many women of her age are fighting over Saeful. He is good at math, English, and plays music. How can a woman not like a man who is good at math? Saeful also plays music. But dear, said Mother, Saeful has a bad character. He is arrogant and does not think long if he is facing problems. His character was obvious when Saeful wanted to kill me.
Mother's story continues, after two months of acquaintance. Finally Mom and Saeful are dating. Almost every day, Mother's days are filled with the presence of Saeful. When Mom is sad, Saeful is always there. When you need anything, Saeful is always there. In fact, Mother said, I dare to sell her pride to Saeful because of love. It's just that time, Mother did not dare to sacrifice her femininity in excess. Alias is just a kiss of the lips, kiss the cheeks, kiss the forehead, and a friendly hug. Not getting to the intimate relationship shutter like a husband and wife.
That is when love has turned faith into invisible dust. Anything will look beautiful even if it has to drop self-esteem. As if the body of a woman who is supposed to be noble, it is sold cheaply with the payment of love.
Is that really love? Ruin someone's faith by offering a love lust that looks beautiful?
Until the end, Mother and Saeful must be separated by circumstances. After they were together at home. Eventually, Mother forced Grandpa to continue his High School in the boarding school. Their love story is temporarily closed due to the distance and time that cannot be met. Even I just found out that I have a real father named Umar Hababi.
My mother said, My real father died when I was only four months old. My feelings at that time were very painful. How not to get sick, the journey of his story is very beautiful than the story of his love with Saeful.
At that time, Mother had become a santri, and my father was also a santri. They were met at the Qur'an tilawatul race.
Mother who at that time just sat as a spectator and my real father as a participant who managed to become champion two.
From that meeting, Mother fell in love with a man named Umar Hababi, an eye-catching man who at that time read the Qur'an so sweet and beautiful.
The beginning of Mother's love with Umar began when Umar conveyed his feelings through a letter sent to his friend. It just so happens that my friend is a cousin of Umar Hababi.
I read the letter while crying.
From the correspondence, finally their love story continues until marriage and have a child named, Aleya Ibtasamah Hababi, that is me.
But baby, when their love is in happiness because of the presence of a child. Umar Hababi had to suffer from unclear pain. My mother said that this disease was not an ordinary disease. Alias there was someone who did not like Umar. Until finally Umar Hababi could not survive because of the disease he suffered.
From Mom's story, I felt something was strange. After Umar Hababi died, Saeful came and approached Mother again. This coincidence? Apparently not, I told you further.
Saeful's arrival after my biological father died was indeed Saeful's scenario. Saeful did not accept, her first love was captured by someone else. Even though I know Saeful is that bad, I'm strangely willing to marry her. Even worse, after Saeful marries Mom, Saeful's goal begins to differ, she wants to master Grandpa's fortune. That is why also the death of Umar and Grandpa was almost the same. I know about the truth, because Saeful's close friends care a lot about Mom and tell her a lot about Saeful.
It is difficult to play love with black magic. After seventeen years, I have been a victim of love, and only realized now. Love is not just physical appearance and skill. But there must be a common faith and open heart. The commonality of faith to dampen love born of lust, and the openness of the heart to protect the common ground of faith that can one day change.
Mother said, Love is not just you like her, and she likes you. But, more than that, the elements of bathiniyah and outwardly must already exist. That's why love is not easy. Everything must be with the readiness of a mature birth.
From the story of Mother, I am sure that the seed of love will grow beautifully, develop freshly, and not quickly he withered dry up, is when the seed of love that we plant in the heart of a fertile and suitable. Like the love of Umar Hababi to Mother because the seeds of love are not just planted and left. But the seed of love must always be kept so that later, when it bears fruit, it will produce quality fruit.
Mother and Saeful love is an infertile love and is planted in an incompatible heart. Finally only lust plays. Umar Hababi who is sincere, becomes a victim of greed in the name of love.
Therefore, I advise myself:
"Aleya, save your seed of love. Plant it later in the right heart, do not plant it! Because, the fruit that will be produced does not guarantee the growth of other seeds. It could be, it'll be worse."
So, shall I plant the seed of love in a suitable and fertile heart for my survival? If I'm not ready. Then I have to find a suitable and suitable place. And that I must learn even more so that the fruit that I will get can save me in this homeland, and someday when this mouth can no longer say.
From Mother's story, too, I understand that the seeds of love that have not reached the age limit, how better to keep. Maybe like my seed of love. I have to wait until my seedling of love is ready for me to plant. I have to force. Instead of what, I fear that if I plant now without a definite bond, God will give me disaster for the seed of my love in the future.
