Hot Couple: Inara's Love Story

Fear of Losing

"If I survive, you want to, right, marry me?" Reza asked as we headed to the hospital. "I want to live once more to be with you."

I don't like elections he said, as if he was going to die first and finally come back to life, either suspended or dead which is how -- I don't understand. But I don't want to argue, it's not the right time to correct which word selection is more appropriate.

I nodded my head, which was when I realized how much I was really afraid of losing Reza. It was as if our quarrels and our breakups that a few times were just a "break" word that there would be a continuation - - that we would definitely make up and be together again. In contrast to now, I was afraid that death would completely snatch her away from me.

I nodded uncontrollably, tears dripping from both my eyes, like hot wax drops. "I want to" I said. "I promise you, we'll be married soon. I'm not leaving you again. You have to hold on, yeah. Don't leave me."

He smiled faintly. "Please love you, Nara."

Those words - though very simple, but to me they had a very deep meaning when he said them, a sentence that came from inside his heart - that he really loved me. He only uttered those words in certain situations, so that the deepest meaning could be directly reached to my heart.

I was crying as much as I could. The words that Reza spoke only scared me more - scared to death. In the end I did something that every desperate person would do. I started praying.

I asked the Almighty up there to save him -- I begged - please don't take Mas Reza from me. Please don't be that cruel to me. I promise to be a more obedient servant to You, I will love the orphans and all the children of the home entrusted to me with sincerity, I also promise I will be a better and more useful person to those around me - - to be "Your mediator."

I hope God will pity me, wishing He pity me - the poor girl who has always felt lost all her life. I do not want to lose a second time, a loss capable of tearing myself into tiny fragments, like that bomb.

And I don't know, maybe what I'm doing is a kind of bargain to God: I promise to keep all those promises and promise not to let my faith run out again if my one request is granted.

But I didn't want to budge in the slightest and didn't want to leave Reza in such a state, even for a second.

Calling Alfi, that was the only thing that occurred to me.

A few minutes after that, Alfi came with Mayra who immediately grabbed me and wiped my face. "Everything will be fine" he said.

"Reza will be fine. He's tough" said Alfi.

While Alfi was in charge of the administration, Mayra asked me about the chronology of the stabbing. I don't know anything I said. I was still staring at the door of the ER room, shaking my head and fearing the worst possible outcome. I can't stand it. I can only rely on hope - well, HOPE. I want something that is completely out of my control and only able to rely on God.

After a span of hours - when in fact just a few dozen minutes - a nurse came out of the ER room, I reflexively got up from the chair and blocked her way. The nurse said the patient was in critical condition and needed a positive type B blood transfusion. I was down to hear the critical word, but I immediately realized, I have the same blood type as Reza.

"Take my blood, Sister."

Even if I am willing to have more than a bag of blood, how much Reza needs - I am willing - as long as he survives and returns to me.

Please don't leave me, Mom....