
On the way, we did not speak a word. My eyes blurred with tears, sobs running down my throat. And, despite Reza's efforts, I watched her tears shed. The eye that always captivated me was now inundated with water, though it was always removed with his hands. He was trying hard in front of me.
In just a few minutes, we arrived at a maternity clinic that was open twenty-four hours.
"You'd better go, ma'am," I said after Reza turned off the engine. "It's not fair for you to force yourself with me. You deserve a better woman than me."
Reza turned his head, then turned his body to face me. "Nara, honey," he said. One of her hands held my hand, and the other touched my head. "Listen to me. No matter what happens, I will always be there for you. Hold onto my words, I will never leave you."
"But, Mom, I'm dirty. There is nothing I can be proud of. I'm no longer a virgin."
Reza. "Please. stop."
"You stopped. Don't lie to yourself for me. Don't give me hope. It's a real world, not a fictional story. No man would accept a girl victim of rape*. I just disgusted myself. Especially the kam-"
My babbling stopped. Reza silenced my lips with her kiss. It was as if he wanted to show me that he was not the slightest bit disgusted at me. As if -- to him - I'm not dirty at all.
"Don't talk about this again, okay?" his voice began to fade. "Here," he said. He pulled me into his arms. "Calm yourself. As I promised, I will accept you as you are. Everything's gonna be fine. We can get through all this together. Okay well? Now that we're in the clinic, we'll see a doctor."
I also nodded. A moment later, as I was about to get out of the car Reza called me. I also looked.
"Mas Reza loves you."
Oh, my heart is touched. Although only four words, but managed to melt the concussion in my heart. "Thank you" I said. A faint smile was engraved on my lips, and we came out.
"Darling, you wait here. I'll see a doctor first. Don't go anywhere. Okay?" the door was on when we were in the waiting room.
I also nodded. Obviously I'm not going anywhere. I can still think a little clearly. I want to sterilize myself so that I don't get pregnant from sperm* savage man.
A few minutes later, Reza came out of the doctor's office and told me to go in and see the doctor.
With a little medical talk to the patient, the doctor gave a positive suggestion. After that, he discussed the core of our problem. First, the doctor prescribes a pill that must be taken within three times twenty-four hours after the rapist's event*. He explained that it should not be passed from that time period because if so the egg may have matured and been fertilized he said. Furthermore, the doctor advised me to directly install a copper-based IUD (intra-uterine device) contraceptive device (copper IUD) to kill sperm* cells in the uterus. He said the installation of the IUD should not be more than five days after the time of rapist*. I also agreed to it straight away.
The doctor asked me to clean my organs*teams first, and asked me to change clothes in case I brought a change of clothes. It just so happened that Mayra's suitcase for our prewedding photo outfit didn't get her out of the car, so I could change clothes.
When the doctor "checked me" -- the doctor frowned. Repeated once again, keep with the same expression. Then she asked the nurse to take my stained clothes to the lab. The doctor was sorry to follow the nurse. I remained alone in the room, waiting for the doctor with anxious expectation. Restless and agitated soaring high at the top of my head.
The doctor returned a few minutes later, followed by Reza behind him. The doctor's smile irritated me. Can he smile so brightly in front of a human who is at the lowest point like me? That's what I thought at the time. But I was helpless, as a patient I had respect for him. I who was already sitting on the chair in front of his desk could only bow weakly, echoing hands under the table.
He cleared his throat before opening his voice. "May I know what you were doing at the time of the incident? I mean, are you guys at a family gathering or celebrating a reunion, for example?"
I was confused, why did the doctor ask like that? I'm sure Reza is just as confused as I am. "Yes, Doc. Right," Reza replied.
"Then I'm safe, I'm sure you'll get prank. She is fine" the doctor explained.
I'm shocked. Pun Reza, his forehead immediately shriveled. We're not flinching. I don't know what's in Reza's head, I don't even know what's on my mind. Touched, sad, happy, angry, all nano-nano. There was disbelief, but there was also a sense of joy, of gratitude if I were really in good shape. "That's, Doc?" asked Reza who finally found her voice again. He still couldn't believe what he had just heard.
Fiuhhh. Even though the tears still flow. But no longer tears of sadness, quite the contrary, I am happy. I'm relieved. I still have something I can offer to someone who will be my husband's status, MY CROWN, something of mine that is precious.
Hold on, hold on. "Doctor's sure I'm a virgin?"
"Yes, one hundred percent sure. And about the red spots on Mbak's clothes, it's just food coloring, which is somehow mixed what can be thick slimy resembling blood. Maybe it's because the Mama's panicking, so don't think why not feel the pain in her female organs Mommy."
I was nervous so happy. Holding back a happy laugh, a smile as crisp as possible, expressing unparalleled gratitude.
"OKAY. Then thank you, Doc. I'm sorry to interrupt Doctor's time with this kind of thing" Reza said. "I'm sorry."
The doctor smiled. "It's okay. Please," he said kindly.
I jumped excitedly into Reza's arms as we exited the examination room. He also returned my embrace. "I love you, Mom," the phrase just popped out of my mouth.
"Can I hear you one more time?"
Ah, that question made me fully aware. Reza let go of my embrace. With a serious expression he looked me in the eye, both of his hands were holding onto my shoulders.
Serrr. He made me feel wrong. "Darling, look me in the eye, please. Hmm?"
"I love you," I said half a whisper shyly, I ran out of the clinic leaving Reza still smiling broadly behind, he smiled until we were in the car.
"Emmm... Mas, we're not going straight home, are we?"
Agree. Reza immediately drove the car and we darted ahead of the other cars to the beach.
Once there, we just sat alone, not talking for a few minutes. Despite smiling at my love, Reza still seemed shocked by the ignorance of my cousins, then he lay on the sand barefoot. "Here, lie by my side" he asked.
I think it's a chance for me to start talking. "Mas, are you mad at my cousins?" i asked.
Reza smiled wryly. "It's a lie if I say I'm not angry" he said. "Are you not angry?"
Hmm. I'm honestly annoyed. But I can't show that annoyance to my family. So, I explained to Reza that I was angry too, but I had no intention of venting my anger. Let me keep it and hold it myself, I said. No doubt, Reza felt astonished at me, which he had seen his future wife was so easy emotion, but in this case I tried to calm down.
"For the Mother of the family is everything. I didn't want to ruin our relationship just because I didn't accept them. Mother said, Mother used to make mistakes, even several times, but thank God, her family still accepts Mother. Therefore, Mother wants her children to always be tolerant of family members. Because what? Because that's where we're going to go back, where we're going to go home."
Reza nodded, there was a slight smile etched from his lips. "I won't vent my anger either. For your sake," he said. "Although they are actually very outrageous, to let us go to the clinic to see a doctor. It's shame."
"I'm sorry on their behalf. And thank you for your understanding" I said. Reza just smiled. "Thank you for your loyalty. You proved your sincerity in loving me. No matter how and whatever my circumstances, you remain loyal by my side. I love you, Mas."
Reza smiled again. "I know" he answered briefly.
I'm relieved. It felt like the tons of cement that hit me was no longer working at all. We stayed there until dawn. After that, we immediately went home and were greeted with laughter all over the villa. Wicked!