Hot Couple: Inara's Love Story

Grief Loss

That night Reza was lying on the floor with a jacket and a blanket wrapped around her body, right next to the sofa I was lying on. I don't think he's sleeping at all. He was just rolling around on the carpet floor. I offered him to sleep on the couch, let me sleep on the floor, but he refused. He said he couldn't sleep because he was agitated, not because of the coldness and coldness of the hospital floor.

"There's a strange feeling I've never felt before. Sort of. anxiety. But I don't know why, what the reason is" he said. Then he got up and turned on the television, then sat on the couch, at my foot.

I could not bear to let Reza alone with her anxiety, I got up and made two cups of hot chocolate, one for Reza and another for myself. Reza drank his hot chocolate in silence, his gaze focused on the television screen that broadcast the evening news. I knew he was not talking, so I just found him sitting next to him. Somehow twenty minutes after that, we both fell asleep with the television still on.

I was awakened by the voice of Reza calling out to her mother with sobs that broke the silence. It was about two in the morning. I sat down and believed I wasn't dreaming, I felt cold and shivering at the tear-filled scene. My whole body feels paralyzed. I really could not feel both my arms and legs, other than the blood in my veins. He hugged and kissed his mother who was already stiffened. Watching that, tears instantly filled the eyelids.

After regaining my arms and legs, I got up. As bad as I might call his name. He looked at me with the face of a child in need. I walked over and I took him into my arms. He didn't say anything. She just drowned her face in my arms while crying.

The story sequences after that are the parts I can't tell, the parts I don't know for sure what happened. All I remember is calling a doctor, a nurse or anyone who could come into that room. I don't know what the doctors and nurses were saying when and during the funeral. My focus was broken, the worry about Reza dominating my brain.

A few minutes later, Reza was able to control himself completely, shortly after the nurse closed his mother's body and moved it to the morgue. While Reza was finishing up the hospital administration, I called Alfi, Ari and Ihsan to deliver the sad news. Then, I immediately tidied up our things to take home.

Yeah, anyone in this world would've lost loved ones. This happens every day, because it is part of life in the world, where God predestines people to come and go. As there are those who are present and born into the world, there are also those who leave the world. That is what is called destiny. And that day, for people who have felt a sense of loss by death, is the day that their world ceases to spin and the sky feels crumbling right overhead, no exception for a Reza Dinata.

Just like the situation in the hospital, the situation at the funeral I can not explain and describe with a series of words. Seeing the faces full of sorrow, anecdotes that invite tears, coffins that contain the bodies of the past buried and fitted with tombstones, he said, still can not describe what kind of sorrow and sadness Reza really, because he felt far beyond it all. However, even though with a sad face veiled with grief, Reza is still a boy who shows his devotion to parents, he still carries out his obligations as a child, he also barked, raised a coffin, and raised a, even went into the burrow to proclaim the azan and buried his mother's body, even with tears that were almost unrelenting.

After the funeral procession, I, my mother, Ihsan, Alfi, Mayra and Ari, were the closest people to Reza who had not yet left, because he was still sitting dumbstruck in front of his late mother's pusara. But my being by his side was just being present, my tongue was as weak as him. I cannot pretend to speak sweetly or in a tone that sounds sad, moving, and clever in the face of it. Luckily, my mother managed to persuade him to leave. Maybe there's some kind of disdain or he's too respectful of parents, so he's willing to listen to my mom's words.

We drove home in separate cars. Ihsan with my mother. I was alone with Reza, he didn't want to go with Ihsan's car or let Alfi take his car. I am sure it is because he avoids situations where people will look at him with compassion and sadness on his face. Except for me, she left me always by her side, even though she still kept freezing with a straight-forward look, as if whatever was ahead of her was so eye-catching. He asks Alfi and Mayra to come along in Ari's car. Zia did not come, she was pregnant with their first child, that day I just found out that Ari told Reza that Zia could not take part in taking care of our marriage, she was nauseous facing the first trimester of her pregnancy. Ari delivered the happy news while we were in Cianjur, but Reza did not tell me that at the time.

It was noon when we reached Reza's house. Me, Mayra, my mother and Mbok Tin rushed to prepare lunch. While Reza, Alfi, Ari and Ihsan were preoccupied with the business of preparing incest for the night. There are no restaurant employees who help at home, because they are also busy with catering to be served to guests, while some other employees take care of catering in a celebration that I also do not know where. The catering order has been ordered from far away, so it cannot be canceled just because the restaurant owner was hit by a disaster that never saw the time, he said, including on Sundays which should be the time of the shahdu holiday.

When lunch was ready, I was grateful that Reza had such high respect for my mother, that again she immediately complied without being able to refuse when my mother told her to eat, filling her empty stomach. After the hot chocolate I made last night, he didn't eat or drink anything but water. Even though she only ate a little, at least I was relieved - there was food going into her stomach. Likewise, when he finished the lecture that night, he attended a meal with guests who were present praying for his late mother.

But unfortunately, after that study my mother immediately returned to Jakarta, leaving with my aunt and family, because Ihsan had to go to work Monday tomorrow. Even Ari who immediately returned to Lampung, he could not stay overnight because he was worried that he had been all day leaving Zia who was heavily drunk. And all employees also go home after their duties to clean up and clean up are done.

The atmosphere of the house was again silent, silent and quiet, as if uninhabited. Plus Reza was like a person who was completely exhausted. He deliberately confined himself in his mother's room all night, until he fell asleep there. Even he asked me or anyone else not to bother him, he said he wanted to take a break. Finally she came out of the room after sunrise: still sleepy, her hair bound without combing, she had not taken a bath or changed clothes, still in the same clothes she had worn last night. It was the first time I saw Reza with such a disheveled look, her appearance back then was completely messy. I immediately remembered the moments yesterday, when his mother told me to accompany and take care of him, as if he knew that it was his last moments in the world, he said, he did not want his son to be alone without anyone taking care of him and accompanying him through days of grief.

I forced my lips to smile. "Morning, Mas," I said. At that time I was standing in front of the sink, just finished washing dishes and dirty cups used by me and Mayra breakfast. Reza only responded with a small, almost invisible smile. "Mas Alfi is in the backyard. They will be home later in the day. You want to talk first? I'll bring you breakfast. What do you want? Fried rice, porridge, bread, or all?" I leaned in while walking towards him. I tried as much as I could in front of him, the sadness of seeing him like that I couldn't take it for granted.

"Bread it, please make some coffee, yes" he asked. His voice sounded hoarse.

I put my hand on his forehead and neck, hot. Fix, he's got a fever. "You have a fever, don't drink coffee just yet, yeah. You have to take medicine."

"Please? I need coffee" he said, begging like a child. "The medicine's gonna be noon, huh?"

I shook my head slowly, like a wife who wants to keep her husband's health tight.

"Please, Honey?"

Ah, from last night, let alone calling me darling, she barely even talked to me, not even with anyone.

"Yes, I'll make it," I said. I don't want to argue with him who is still in mourning.

"Please get us to the back, yeah."

I'm nodding. "Yes, Mommy" I said.

Before he stepped foot, he had a chance to kiss my forehead. Even though it was just a glance, the kiss made my lips smile and put hope for the sorrow to pass. Even then I wonder, how long will that mist of sorrow cover our world? On the other hand, the wedding day was already in sight.

But what can I do? There aren't. Just let time give an answer - like the answer Reza told Alfi as they stood by the pool in the backyard as I brought breakfast. They don't realize my existence. I heard they were talking about our marriage.

"What about your wedding plans? Not gonna be pushed back, is it?" ask Alfi.

The question made me grumble, I wonder what Reza's answer was, it's the twenty-third of March, I didn't even dare to ask her that question myself.

Reza. "No, even if it can be accelerated" he said.

"Mas, breakfast first," I cried.

Reza came up to me and invited Alfie to have breakfast with him. "Sorry, yeah. I've been troubling you," he said.

"It's okay, Mom. I'm glad I did this for you. But... Can I talk?"

"What?" tanyanya, then he bit the tip of his favorite serikaya jam bread.

"I want us to get married on the basis of the love and happiness we have been waiting for, not just to cover up your grief and sadness. You got it, right?"

Reza mangosteen, looking at me he said, "I understand."

Well, in the afternoon, Alfi and Mayra say goodbye. They could not long leave Tirta at the home of Alfis cousins. Before leaving, Alfi embraced Reza. Seeing that sight my eyes glazed, haru or what I do not know, which I definitely feel like crying.

"Jaga Reza, yes Ra," Alfi's message read. "If there's anything, just let us know."

I'm nodding. Alfi and Mayra got into a taxi and we waved.

When I turned around, I caught Reza wet wiping away her tears. I know, this time he was not crying over his loss, but because the reality made him realize that he was just a kara, he did not have a single family member who was bloodied with him. Alfi and Mayra are only friends even though they are like their own family, as well as the figure of Inara, I - only a lover who bears the status of a future wife, not and not yet a wife.

I approached her, I grabbed her hand and I dipped my finger in her finger. "You're not alone, there's me. I will always be here with you" I said.

He smiled a little. "I'm hungry" he said. "I want to eat your cooking."

I nodded, with a slight smile I took him in. "I cooked you a warm soup. But you don't protest the taste, do you? Just watch out."

"Yes, it will still be good if you feed."

Oalaaah. Maybe you think Reza is flirting with me or you're joking with me. But I swear, if you look at it yourself, you'll know, he's not flipping me let alone joking. He was trying to hide and cover up his grief.

Later that night, Reza was back alone on the back porch, sitting dumbstruck on a swing. We just finished dinner. I had just put a dirty plate in the sink, but Mbok Tin swiftly took over my position.

"Non accompany Den Reza only. Take in, later more sick with the night wind," said the Mbok, his attention is extraordinary.

I kept quiet for a moment, thinking about how to persuade Reza to let him in. At first glance it occurred to accompany him for a while, then pretend to be cold, hoping that he would pity me and take me in. But a few sweet memories from our time at the villa appeared in my brain. I took a blanket of wide flannel, and made a steaming hot chocolate for each one.

He smiled at me when I came to him. I put the hot chocolate on the table, on the left side of the swing, and then sat down next to it. We huddled hugging in the dark, sheltered in a comfortable wide blanket. One of his hands hugged my waist, and one of my hands I placed safely on his chest. We looked at the stars while hearing the melodious chant of Michael Jackson in the song You Are Not Alone, as well as Bryan Adams in Everything I Do.

Under these circumstances, the universe requires me to play the role of the wisest friend to him. Well, the sorrow of being left by a loved one can indeed be experienced by anyone. However, there is no sadness that is truly the same. I realized that it was important not to compare the sadness and sorrow that I had experienced or experienced by other people in situations like this. I know that a grieving person does not need to be comforted, he just wants to be understood, understood, and understood that losing someone is painful.

"My anxiety that night was a signal that Mom was leaving. I am a kara. I don't have a family - I mean a real family member. Seem. Kinsmen. Which...."

I let go of my embrace and I straightened my shoulder, and I looked at him with pity. "I know, I understand what you're trying to say," I said overtaking her words, which Reza himself was puzzled as to how to string the right sentences together. "But you have me. We'll get married, and you'll have a wife. In addition you will have a mother-in-law, a brother-in-law, many cousins, nephews, aunts, oom, and most importantly besides you have a wife, you will have four children, he said, or could be more. It doesn't matter if I have to continue to get pregnant" I said impassively. "You will have many children, your blood will flow in their bodies. There will be little Dinata that enliven our home. You will never be alone. There I am, I will always be with you, always by your side no matter what. Whatever happens, Mommy. I will always be there for you. Don't tell me you're alone anymore. You're not kara, are you? There's me. You got me." My tears are back.

Reza nodded. "But still, I'm sorry" he said softly. "I should have fulfilled Mom's wish, I should have done what she wanted. He just wants to see me get married." Reza turned his eyes before speaking his regret sentences again. "I'm a fool, is it hard to say yes when Mom asked us to get married a week after the proposal? Really stupid."

I gasped at that regretful sentence, as if he was blaming me as well. Back then she didn't want to rush into marriage obviously due to seeing my surprised reaction. And, my heart ached even more when I heard Reza say, "Or even I should have been married a long time ago, so that Mom would feel happy to hold a grandchild."

The one you were with was not me, Mas. My heart screamed. Be ill. But what is my day. I can't be hurt. I suppress all the raging flavors. Today, not only sultan who is free, people who are shrouded in sadness are free, free to talk and free to do what.

"Mom was happy up there. I want you to be happy here too. Even though Mother is no longer in our midst, she will still see you married. He'll see you from there."

Once again Reza nodded. He's calmer. "May I sleep in your arms?" tanyakanya.

I nodded and my smile grew. I took him in and we slept in his room. I deliberately set the song Bintang, Anima's song. And I know, Mbok Tin won't think about me accompanying Reza in his room, because I know he loves Reza too. Most importantly, Reza was asleep, her fever was cured, and her pain was reduced. That's all I can do to take care of her. I love him more than I love myself.