He's Not Mine

27. Final Decision

Lita's departure is piggybacked Ricky carries a sore wound in the heart. Is it true that Lita said I was jealous of Ricky? Is it possible that Ricky really likes Lita? All I know is, Ricky just got to know Lita, where maybe that love was coming so fast. If Lita really likes Ricky, it must be hard to let them walk together, but what's the reason? Lita has seen me a lot with Utami, I should get used to seeing Lita with Ricky. But, I don't think I can.

The phone rings, Utami calls. “Halo, honey. can you pick me up? It's raining.”

“Iya, wait for me there,” I replied.

I skated to the hospital where Utami is serving this afternoon. 

‘My car is in until the front of the ER yes, get ready there now!’ I sent Utami a message. 

“Still yes,” Utami said when entering my car.

“Where are you going?” my many.

“Let's be left in the parking lot, but tomorrow's delivery!” Utami smiled mischievously at me.

I just nodded with a smile, a lot of words stuck in my throat, my tongue a little too faint to say it all.

Silence, I mendehem attracted Utami's attention. Utami looked at me, “Why?”

I pulled the car to the side of the road. 

“It looks like something serious, why?” ask Utami.

“Lita is now dating Ricky.”

“Oh, good then!”

“I'm afraid Lita is the material of the game Ricky aja.”

“Don't do that ah, let it be their business. We do not need to follow their affairs, we just pray well for them.” Utami caressed my hand.

“So I told Lita to stay away from Ricky.”

“Don't be so dong, Lita is big, it's time to choose. Good and bad he's in charge.”

“Lita says I'm jealous of Ricky!” Utami looked at me seriously. “I forced Lita to cut ties with Ricky. According to Lita I have to choose between you or Lita!” I still looked straight ahead of the road and ignored Utami's eyes.

“You? So all this time you really liked Lita? Are you jealous of Ricky? Now that you're saying this, means you prefer Lita over me? You have the heart, have you been playing with Lita behind my back? Your outrageousness!” Utami opened the car door, but my hand pulled her back into the car faster. 

“Stay here, out of the rain,” I lock the car door.

“It's enough I you hang when in living to Lampung first. Now I've been trying to keep this relationship going, but you betrayed her.” Utami started crying.

I bent my left leg and sat facing Utami. “I've never played with Lita. I always stand with you, either in front of you or behind you. You've always been number one. I only paid more attention to Lita, not my heart. But when Ricky started to approach Lita, I couldn't lie that I liked Lita all this time but I never told anyone, including Lita directly. This time I'm honest with you that I really like Lita.” Utami covered her teary face. “I also don't know if when I choose one of you, I will be happy. The only thing I want to keep is you. You are amazing, what I want is all there is to you, you are so good!”

“Yes, because I'm too good with you, so you'll just treat me!” Utami still looked down in tears without looking at me.

“No other woman gets my full attention and love besides you.”

“Then what do you want? Are you asking to share your love with Lita. It's not that easy! From the beginning Ricky warned me about you, it turns out to be true what Ricky said. You playboy!”

“You were punished for your own negligence, nothing to do with me at all!” Utami raised her voice while looking at me.

“Then why did you receive Ricky's flowers? Why would you want to be escorted to the ER with him? It all happened right in front of me. You keep saying this has nothing to do with you? I caused a commotion in the ER, I'm already responsible. You're the reason I fought Ricky until suspension, are you responsible? Even my departure during the suspension is not you ignore in the least. I don't want you to feel guilty, so I didn't tell you that time. But if you say I'm suspended with nothing to do with you, you're wrong. All the punishments I received for the sustainability of our relationship. Just between you and me!”

“Smart once you twist the facts!” rubbing her tears.

“Utami, don't you appreciate a little bit of my struggle during this?”

“All your kindness has been erased with your sin and betrayal!”

“Please don't say that,” I rubbed Utami's hand but she immediately pulled her hand and sat closer to the window, maybe if this rain is not heavy, Utami immediately ran away leaving me.

“Now this way, I assure you that until this moment I am still yang once,”

“Iya, but you also love Lita,” Utami cut quickly.

I nodded, “right, if I break up with you too, Lita will not want to accept me because she has been dating Ricky.”

“OK, then we better break up now. Nothing else to defend. Thank you.”

“My heart still has you, I'm sure you still like me. We don't have to break up, which I want us to be both honest with our feelings, mutual openness, and mutual care.”

“That's what you want, not with me. I'm not a toy.”

“I'm not playing you at all, I'm just being honest, doesn't mean I chose Lita.”

“But you still hope Lita wants to be with you right?”

I looked into Utami's dead red eyes, “he doesn't deserve me, he's just a kid, not to be serious about. It's so different from you!”

“So Lita only you make as an entertainer?” I silently looked straight ahead. “One point for you that makes me even more sure that you don't value women, you don't deserve me either.”

“Oh, I just want to be honest with you, not break up. With this honest confession I want us to take care of each other more. No more secrets are kept between us. I told you earlier that if I broke up with you, it was useless, Lita was dating Ricky. So, we don't break up! I asked you once, I still love you.”

Utami was silent, her tears were already dry. Maybe he felt very hurt. “I also want to be honest now!” Utami wiped her tears that suddenly fell. “During this time my papa has betrothed me to Aaron's doctor, he's the owner of a clinic in Malang. Aaron's doctor's family has helped my family a lot, including my tuition and papa's business. If I refuse this matchmaking, maybe papa's business will be ruined.”

“I'm an officer, you're a doctor. I'm sure, we can improve the economy of our family together, don't be afraid of bluffing!” I stroked Utami's shoulder slowly.

“No, you don't know who Aaron's doctor, my dad and mom really wanted me to marry him. I've been looking for a moment to say break up with you, and this is the right time to part with you. May you be happy with the woman after me later!” Utami returned to shed her tears.

“I won't let you go, we'll be together forever.” I clasped Utami's hand, but let go slowly.

“Please take me home now!” I continued the vehicle towards the direction of the Utami kosan without a word. “Tomorrow I'll go home to Malang and don't look for me anymore. I'm getting married to doctor Aaron.” soon

I remained silent, ignoring Utami's words until the car stopped near Utami's boarding stairs, “tomorrow morning I'll pick you up, we're still here and we're in a relationship until we're married, have kids, have kids, and until death pick up.”

“The red car belongs to Dr. Aaron, let him take and take care of my resignation at dr. Ramelans. I'm in complete agreement with my decision. Please respect my decision. Thank You!” Utami got out of the car and up the stairs, I looked at her until she was lost behind the second floor. I hope it's just an impromptu decision that can be said to be gone in a matter of hours, I'll call her tonight again.