Halal Me With Your Parent's Ridho

74. Fear

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POVS. Fahmi

I really couldn't look away from her face, to me her face reminded me of someone who was my past. Since the first time my daughter attended school here I was silent - silent always watching her. When I drove and picked up my daughter I never once missed a chance to see her. But because I had little time with my activities at Kodim, I never had time to find out about it.

That girl, there was nothing special about her, but for me there was something that was able to attract my attention. Until - until I always asked about him to my little daughter, which he always answered with enthusiasm. Nyimas Khodijah Bramastari is the name.

" Dear, what did Eve learn in school ? " I asked the princess just my way.

" Ajal, ikin byoss Well, mama Uthal. Wawa ni. " My daughter replied while giving the brooch a picture of a butterfly from flannel.

Yes, she was a teacher at my daughter's school, coincidentally in my daughter's class. For me, this is not just a coincidence, but I still can not stand from all the things that have been 8 years to hold me.

One morning arrived I was surprised by the ringing of a phone from my personal mobile phone, I immediately picked up. Because only certain people know my personal mobile number. Instantly, I was shocked when the phone came from my daughter's school, which reported that my daughter was unconscious.

My world seemed to collapse when I heard the news, my daughter is indeed different from ordinary children. But never made me feel love and my love less for her, moreover never once did she know the figure of the mother who had conceived and given birth to her.

I paced my way down the hospital hallways, the shadow of my daughter's face filled my mind of worry and disappointment gathered into one. Which turns it into an emotion, how can my daughter fall let alone still hours of lessons. How could his teacher be so careless in watching over their students.

I arrived in front of my daughter's nursery, I saw the principal waiting for my arrival at the door. Regardless of what the middle-aged woman said, I broke through the door because I wanted to quickly find out about my daughter's condition.

" Assalamualaikum pak Fahmi, I dance mother teacher Eve "

" walaikumsalam" I replied as I extended my hand.

" I'm sorry sir" he replied, cupping both hands in his chest.

" It's okay what's Miss Tari, how did Bu happen until Eve could have a seizure ,? "

" So, sir, we were marching to wash our hands, then suddenly Eve fell and immediately convulsed" he explained.

Why did I become unfocused when my daughter was still unconscious, to be honest I was very nervous. It's not the first time I've seen her, but it's definitely the first time she's seen me. I saw from the look of his eyes full of worry, which made me unable to take my eyes off the girl.

A few days passed, my daughter has passed her critical period. Not once did I miss a day without accompanying her.

"Assynogaic"

"Walaikumsalam" I answered, turning to the door where the voice came from.

"Sir Fahmi, how's Eve doing ?"

"Alhamdulillah Bu Tari has changed a lot "

It turns out that guests who I never thought of his presence, honestly his presence has me in a few days. I saw her approaching the safe where my daughter was asleep, lovingly she stroked and kissed my daughter and it made me unable to take my eyes off.

" The Pandu "

I turned to the door, where there was a man there. They looked very familiar that girl did not look at all awkward when they talked to me once. He never even looked at me when he talked to me.

" Om future husband Bu Dance dear. "

The man's words surprised me enough, disappointment overpowered me immediately But as much as I could control myself.

After that incident, I no longer find out about her, but from the news that I heard she resigned from my daughter's school because she was getting married. Disappointment is what I feel right now, why after all this time when I will be able to wake up but again the situation is not in my favor.

How I was surprised when I found that figure who was now in front of me, even though his face was down but I knew it was him.

" I'm sorry I didn't accidentally. " Say without lifting his face.

" Mother Dance, is this really you ? " Task him.

" Mr Fahmi ? "

" Mommy Dance what are you doing here ? why are you alone, where is your husband ma'am ?" The question escaped from my mouth.

" I'm going to the pharmacy, sir, "With her bland smile while bowing her head.

For a moment we dissolved in each other's minds, until the arrival of my daughter broke the silence of the two of us. My daughter just kept clinging to her, without letting go of her ladder, the loss of Bu Tari's figure from her life was enough to make my daughter lose. A lot of things we talked about that afternoon during our trip, yes I will take him home.

" It turns out we haven't been a match, sir, "

The word escaped from her repulsive lips stirred up two feelings in my heart. One pity and one more sense that I still have a chance. And it makes me have a new hope

After that our meeting became more intense, my daughter often stayed at her house. Otherwise I would have followed him to Kediri, yes he is now turning to teaching in Kediri. At one point, I dared to express my heart.

" Dance since the first time I met you I've felt something else. But at that moment you came with the man and at that moment I closed the feeling. Reality says another we are reunited with your situation as it is now. And I intend to continue my former race, but I am not sure of myself nor of you. Since her mother's departure Eve my heart has always wanted to open a new page, but my guilt is so great that it always hinders my every move. For now I want you to help me step out of my pain. "

" I don't know what to answer Mas, whereas I myself still have to treat the wounds that re-ignite on my heart. "

" I'm not asking you to answer yes or no to my question. I just want you to know that I have one taste for you, and I'm trying to fight the fear that's within me. I'm revealing this because I don't want any misunderstanding between the two of us. I don't want you to change your attitude and concern for Eve. "

Since then we got closer almost every Sunday we met.Apart from that there were all things that felt strange, when the opportunity came to me but the trauma came back to me. Every night those heartbreaking events come to me, as I develop a sense of shame towards the girl. Until - until I have to come to Kiyai who has been my teacher for advice from him.

In front of the two fathers and sons I told them all about my grievances, my worries and fears right now - completely controlling my heart and my mind. The worry of the girl will feel the same pain as in the late Mother Eve and the fear of losing her really haunts me.

" Make sure the feeling of being together first just make the next decision. Heal the trauma first, do not grusa - grusu this concerns one's life. "

Don't ask me how I got along with her, we meet almost every Sunday because my daughter asked for it. While my relationship with him has not developed anything I am still too afraid. And that fear really can't beat my love for him.

" Tar forgive me for not being able to defeat this fear. "

Just that word that I was able to say, became a signal that I had let go, so that he would not expect a definite relationship between us. It was cruel but I had to do it because I didn't want to hurt him. Our relationship remained good - just as usual and her affection for Eve had not changed at all. A very mature attitude in my opinion, which means that he loves my daughter sincerely.

How stupid I could let go of a girl like that, but I don't think we were meant to be together. Yes, it is fate that does not allow, and the sense that it has now evaporated with the coming of a new day. My race towards her now was nothing more than the taste of an elder brother for her.

That morning as usual I left for the office after I delivered my daughter first. The car I was driving had arrived at my office parking lot. Immediately I went up to the second floor where I had an office flipping some maps that were on the table. Before long my aide came that there was someone who wanted to see me, of course I accepted and asked him to immediately enter.

Gts .... Gts .... Gts .....

The open door featured two figures that I knew quite well. I let them sit on the couch in my room and then we talked about a lot of things. And the figure dressed the same as me revealed his meaning when he came to me, making me a little surprised.

" Are you absolutely sure of what you said just now. "

" Well, God willing I'm sure Kap "

After the departure of the two people, I could only stare at the screen of my mobile phone that still had my daughter with it. I swiped right where the picture of his face was there, with a sigh in my arms. It feels good when he is going to be with the right person.

Connect ........