Halal Me With Your Parent's Ridho

35. Strengthen Me

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POV dance

What is our power as human beings, to reject the ordinances that have been outlined. It is not our power to reject it even to avoid it that we have no right. There are two things we can do to summarize and be patient when the decree takes the form of a test. Isn't that clarity and patience are two different things but must go hand in hand in rhythm.

Every single thing he did a little bit more had already made a crack in the wall of my heart. The wall I made to protect this very fragile heart when faced with a word LOVE. Ever since that event I closed my heart to know the word, because to me it still hurts a lot when I remember the events that took away the smile in my life. The wall that I have been fertilizing with a more beautiful taste, which is my race to the owner of life.

But what is my day because I am only a human being, who has passions that sometimes I cannot control. The once solid wall in my heart slowly created a few small cracks that each day increased due to his treatment of me. And once again lust took hold of me until the wall completely collapsed. Everything was so beautiful, treated me as if I was the only one who reigned in him. His gaze that always adores me, sweet words that always say from his lips really mislead me. At that time I enjoyed it with a very happy heart as if I had never been sick because of something called LOVE. I don't know when I'm going to start filling my whole heart with his name.

Everyone dissolved in the happiness we created, and even more so my two angels were unceasingly smiling on their wrinkled faces. What a sight I could not enjoy for a long time, a happy smile without a stroke of burden from them. There were no other words but unceasing words of gratitude - I stopped saying them in my heart, when I saw their smiles. " O Allah do not take away the favors you gave me, their happiness and happiness are my purpose. Truly you are the One who is able to turn back your people's hearts" I said in my heart.

Until one day I solidified my heart to be completely owned by him. I accepted his proposal and agreed to be his aunt for the rest of my life based on perfecting my religion and my love of Him. Is not how much our love for a creature must not exceed our love for Him. That's the last principle - this end I hold firmly, which keeps me standing until now.

I set my foot where we used to be, where he promised to justify me. My chest rippled as I remembered the event, I bit my lower lip trying to channel this pain. Everything was clearly illustrated like the incident that had happened almost 6 years ago, immediately a sense of tightness filled my chest.

With my hand, he took me to sit in a gazebo on this white sandy beach.

" Deck, "

" Yes, "

" I don't know what to think, but I don't think it should be to think of something that has passed. "

" I'm sorry, "

" I don't know how deep the wound is but obviously, when the sampean has stepped forward it should have left the old wound until. "

The words were like a suggestion in my mind, the memories that were originally drawn were clearly lost as the waves that hit the white sandy beach. All those memories are like being carried away by the waves that return to the sea, the breeze - sepoi seemed to also throw all the pain from this body. I stepped my feet to follow where the wind was taking me, the body felt light because there was no burden on my chest.

" Never walk alone again, and never let go of this grip. "

His instantaneous speech made me fly as if this foot was not on the earth anymore. For a moment, I completely forgot the boundaries - the boundaries of the end - this end I keep. Lust really dominates me now, until I forget something that could happen. The dream I had a few days ago came to my mind. But because lust really dominates me I do not give the warning.

Imagining tomorrow will come in just a few hours makes me unrelenting - endlessly sharing my best smile. The tent was installed in my little house, happiness seemed to fill the recesses of my heart. Moreover, when I saw the hanging white kebaya, which I would wear on the day that he would say a sacred promise to me my heart was very happy. I still looked at her and stroked her, the shadow of the marriage I always dreamed of flashed in my eyes.

I woke up from my daydream when my phone rang and I wiped the green button.

📞 "hiks, hiks, Ijah Ijah help me. "

📞" Dinda, what's up ? why are you crying ?"

📞 "Where are you now, I'll place you "

📞 "I dialfa****, hiks, hiks "

📞 "Wait there don't go where I'll be, wait for me. "

Dinda's friend when I was a kid and at school contacted me with a hoarse voice and accompanying cries. I immediately went to see him because I was worried about his condition. Sure enough, he was very concerned, even I did not recognize him.

I took him to our favorite meatball stall, without asking him anything. Because when I hugged her I heard her stomach ring. After we finished eating, I asked him what made him like this. I repeated my question a few times because he didn't answer. After I pressed him a little, he finally wanted to talk about what really happened. How surprised I was when she was pregnant.

I don't know why he could give up his honor to just anyone. At that time was very disappointed in him, even I had time to slap him when he said he would***rkan his fetus. I forced him to confess who had impregnated him. But cries and apologies were always heard from her lips.

" Jah forgive me for doing this, Paannn............. The guide who did all this. "

And as soon as I fell silent, I tried to make sure that my hearing was wrong. Believe it or not is now in my mind. My chest is very tight because of this, as much as I can hold my tears to not fall. I kept my consciousness to support this already weak body. My mouth was unrelenting - constantly beristighfar trying to hold the rumble in the chest, filling the entire cavity of my chest so tight I felt.

The shadow of the dream I had yesterday came back, but I think it was very real as if it was not a dream but a reality that really happened. Because it was my original consciousness that seemed to now come back, the breath that was once so tight now I think it is getting lighter. And I've been aware that I was betrayed since I first opened my heart to her because Dinda told me the beginning of her relationship with her. My heart aches, even it hurts, he always treats me so sweetly, he draws me from my dark world, he brings a smile to my family, and he's where I hang my hopes of betraying me.

But why am I this loud, even I arranged our family meeting to talk about this. When I saw it, I was still fascinated by his gaze as if adoring me. Everyone had gathered in the large guest room, and it was beginning to debate for the sake of debate. I always held my father's wrinkled hand because I was this strong, I saw him nod and smile at me. And I take that as my father's blessing with the decision I made. Finally a decision I made, which I think was the best decision for us.

" I'm sorry, my name is Khodijah. As Siti Khodijah Rhodiallah Huanhu I am also like him I am not willing to be combined. Because my heart is not necessarily my heart because for me marriage is perfecting half of my religion. How my religion would be perfect if I could not yet. Let me back down, for it is not what Allah has written for me. "

The clear crystal grains that I had tried to hold back had finally fallen as well. Not because I am not familiar with my decision but I really do not have the heart to see the look on the face of parents Mas Pandu, there is a little guilt but this is the best way for the three of us. My chest is tight again, and my father understands my situation now. My father said goodbye to us coming home. With a small debate and of course Mas Pandu who disagreed with my decision, we finally came home.

At home I found all my family members waiting in my living room. After greeting them I say goodbye to my mother to carry out my duties first. There is no place to complain but to Him because the youth is the cure of all the diseases of the world. My feeling was so calm when I complained to Him, the burden on my shoulders as if I put it for a moment so that my breath felt light.

*God has no God but You in this world. Thank You for always embracing the servant in everything that the servant does. Thank you for all the lessons you have given, thank you for this.

O God, wipe away this pain with love only for You. Strengthen us in the face of such trials, there is no refuge except for You. Eliminate the pain of this event on the family of the servant O Allah . Strengthen them, for they are the source of the strength of the servant. Show us the best way for all of us. Amien Amien Amien*

Their faces were not very good at hiding their guilt, because their eyes showed a different taste. Thus "i must be stronger than them" I told myself.

I think he has accepted with the decision we agreed on last night, in fact it is not. With visible anger due to his face that turned red and disrespectful words he came to my house. It seems like what we have decided together does not agree with him.

And here he is now in my living room, he begs me to give him a chance. But my decision remains the same, because it's my belief that I can't change it. After I thought our conversation was enough immediately I told her to go home, but really, what happened was that she dragged me in her arms. It wasn't enough that he carried me on his shoulder and took me out of his car. As if being able to read the situation that was happening, some of my neighbors blocked his way to get into his car.

Instead of stopping her action she became, she had already scratched my cheek with the knife she had made to threaten me. Truly this is not Mas Pandu who I know, he became another figure because anger had mastered it. I saw my mother pleading with her, immediately my eyes were dark and ...........

Seriate........