Halal Me With Your Parent's Ridho

18. Prayerfully

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POVS. DANCE

I believe in everything God has destined me for, but sometimes I still doubt all the feelings I feel. Really why this self still does not know itself with an attitude that is still like this doubt that always appears every time. I don't know what I have to do is just convince myself, without looking at my old wounds. But one thing is certain and I have always believed that his promises will never be broken. In every prostration I always give my grievances to - Him, the place of all the estuary of prayer and life.

" Ashahu Akbar "

That voice, made my heart beat q clash in the middle of my prayer. The square is so beautifully humming joyfully with lafadz - the divine Kalam lafadz goes hand in hand with the merdunya. Really able to shake my chest, this heart that does not know itself is so beating hard as if it will jump from the throne. When I heard Al-Kafirun's letter in the first rakaat, my heart added a letter that was so deep to me. A voice that I know so well but I don't know who the owner is, which is capable of giving me peace.

My prayer this time is not like my usual prayer, the beatings and calmness go hand in hand. Until the voice ended this prayer, and then I realized. I continued the dhikr I used to chant, until - until without feeling a circle of clear crystals escaped past my cheek. My thoughts were on Eve, until a voice again disturbed me the same voice, the voice that led my prayer.

Al-Waqiah is so clear, so soothing this fragile heart. It is presumptuous of this self who wants to know who the owner of the voice is, until I do not realize this leg is approaching the satirical barrier in this mushola. I found the image of a strong man with a wide back, as if - will provide protection for anyone.

Calm and calm is what I currently feel even though this heartbeat is uncertain. When the sound stopped I realized and took off the face I was wearing immediately I ran towards the door of the mosque quickly I directed my eyes to sweep the inner area that was divided into two rooms. But I found no one there.

I turned my gaze, out of the mosque when I found a wide back and a sturdy body wrapped in black gloves and a cocoa shirt.

Is it true that the owner of the voice, why listening to his voice alone makes me this calm,

I reply to a message from Ms. Rina asking about Eve's condition, while walking from the cafeteria to the corridor of the hospital where Eve was treated. Until my body was hit by someone who was walking hastily from behind me.

Brbrruuukkkk

Suddenly my body staggered to fall, but with a swift someone who hit me caught my tiny body. And why is this heart beating again because, I'm sure the person who is bumping into me is hearing this heart that does not know itself.

" Mom again I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry "

" Let's dock, we don't have much time"

I really did not have enough courage to look into the face of the owner of the body. It's just that my eyes don't look away at his wrists, the watch and the bracelet can be seen clearly. Both objects are able to make me remember the events of yesterday that I experienced.

When I realized all that, I immediately set my eyes to look for the two people. But I didn't find them both, their bodies were gone somewhere. To be honest, I really didn't know myself why it could be like this from the sound until the watch owner filled my mind. There are so many questions on my mind.

Why did it happen so quickly, but why did it feel so calm. Like something I've been looking for, and why is it always accompanied by a heartbeat that does not know this self. I do not know what I have given all to Him, the owner of this heart.

For now I expect nothing but my two angels, anything that makes them happy I will do with pleasure. For to me He is the Lord who appears to me now, so whatever I will do to get their ridho because it is a sign of His pleasure for me.

O God of this heart, You are all-knowing of all that has happened to Your servant. Servant entrusts all of your servant's life to You without the slightest doubt in your heart of the destiny and decree You have given to the servant's life. Give the servant the truth and patience in accepting the destiny and decree that You gave Amien Amien Amien.

I don't know what feelings that mas Pandu felt to me, I'm not so curious about it. The thing that I was afraid of happened was that she felt her feelings for me, I really wasn't comfortable with this. She was so firm in her stance as to make me open my heart to her. And how stupid I am, it turns out that my defense is not as strong.

" From now on try, write my name in your heart "

"God willing"

With the appearance of that word, I leave everything to You the owner of the heart. Although the belief did not exist but why did the word just slide from my lips. Whichever my power is who I am that is able to reject your destiny, I am sure all that is based on wanting to find a ridho - You will definitely end well. That's something I've always believed in.

Truly all this goes for granted, I can only accept all requests from mas Pandu. And all the encouragement given by the people around me makes me feel like I have support for everything I do. In this heart there is not a single written name. Actually I was afraid to start a relationship without a foundation called love.

But I looked back when that love had once scratched my heart by leaving such a deep wound. So I decided not to include love in my relationship this time. Right now I think I'm forging a bond to perfect my religion, and make people happy around me.

When Mas Pandu left me, he had to return to his duties as a ship captain in a cruise ship company. There was no sense of loss or disappointment in him leaving me. But the same words that always make me a little short of breath sometimes make my cheeks red.

" You are also heart-heart here. Keep me informed of your situation and prepare yourself because my coming home will make you mine"

" God willing, let us pray together that God will grant our wishes"

Successful words keep me from sleeping all night thinking about it. There are so many questions about this, about my readiness, my beliefs, my feelings and my true love. Let time answer all my questions, I can only be better to accompany mas Pandu.

Apparently this news has reached my two angels, I don't really know where they know from. But what I saw seemed to be so much hope and happiness. Is this the kind of thing they really want ?? I asked in my mind. I remember my feelings to mas Pandu because there is no sense of Love there can a sacred bond without being based on it ?. Remembering the faces of my two angels who were so sparkling with this news gave a little gap to the wall that I built in this heart.

There is one more thing that I fear, is not a sacred bond that is not just the union of two people in the name of love. But also the union of two families between the two, whether the parents Mas Pandu meridhoi bond that we will build. Yes we are from different families Mas Pandu from family is excessive in all things, while I from the family is lacking in all things.

" Nduk, is sampean willing to be a wife for the son of mr de ? "

" Sorry sir de before, can mr de accept the situation Ijah like this ?

Beyond my guess, it turns out that Mas Pandu's family is not what I imagined. Mr. Mas Pandu's unanimous mother accepted me with open arms, no words of rejection at all. There was no stopping - they just gave thanks when I accepted their single son's proposal. This makes me a little dispel the doubts about my feelings to Mas Pandu ......

O Allah Azza Wa Jalla, the owner of this heart, Nothing is impossible for - You, because You are the owner of every breath, because only you can turn back the heart of your people. You understand all that is, without a servant. Keep close, remove all doubt when he is the priest for the rest of the servant's life, and keep him away if he is not the priest you chose for the painless servant for both of us. Amin Amin Amin

That's what I say every third of the night, don't forget to say his name in every prayer. One of the ways I found love in me.

I do not and Merta every day send messages to exchange news. Want to know how I should understand the work he sailed the vast ocean must be a signal is certainly not there. But he always took the time to tell me when he was leaning in a town. He really is the type of man who can make a woman blush just for reading a message from her, she said - really soft and full of warmth. Able to make a hole in the wall of my heart, which I should have opened when I agreed to his good intentions.

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