For the Love of

3

Later that night, when I had just finished putting the children to sleep, I went into my room.

I see, Mas Aji is sitting on the bed with his hand holding the phone. I let out a breath. It is certain that my husband is chatting with his mistress.

I picked up the phone to see the messages that went into your WhatsApp account.

It hurts when you read the messages you send. It contained the chatter that Mas Aji said, the spoiled messages that Cynthia responded to, it really made me sick and disgusted. What's more, when I read the message about sex they did this morning.

I took another breath. Then I keep my phone on the nightstand. End my activities, because if not, I'd be sicker.

I read Mas Aji who was smiling staring at the screen. I didn't notice my presence on his side.

"Mas," I'm calling to try to divert his attention.

My husband just responded. I took another breath. Pasrah.

After that, I better rest. I lay down on my back to Mas Aji.

10 Minutes later, my eyes were not closed. Then suddenly there was a move from the other direction. Mas Aji was lying down. He then hugged me from behind, very tightly.

"Darling, are you asleep?" the question is right in my ear.

I just kept quiet and didn't respond.

"I miss it."

I closed my eyes when I heard her words. Because I know where the talk is going. Yes, he invited me to do my duty as a husband and wife.

I want to refuse, but it's an obligation. How then? I really don't want to do that while my heart is slipping. I really don't want to do it especially after knowing he did the same thing with other women.

Mas Aji further tightened his embrace while kissing my neck. I rubbed his arm in my stomach.

"Can?" ask Mas Aji again.

I wake up to sit down. Mas Aji followed.

"Mas would be tired," my pretext diverted.

Mas Aji smiled, rubbing my cheeks gently. "They're not tired, baby. Want, huh?"

I seemed to think, brain-twisting. "Before, we talked, huh? We haven't talked together in a long time."

Mas Aji looked cringing.

My husband nodded. "What do you want to say?"

"What a hell, Mas. All things."

I approached Mas Aji. Then dropped myself on him. More precisely leaning on his chest. Reflex, he rubbed my hair.

"Lately, I've always been busy. There's rarely time for me and the kids."

"It's work, baby."

I smiled cynically. What job? Working in bed with other women, right?

"Yes, I know, Mas. But I was more busy than usual. It's a hell of a job, huh?" ask pleasantries.

Mas Aji nodded. "Yes, honey. Lately it's a lot of work, so it must be extra work."

I nodded my head pretending to understand. "It's actually okay if Mas is busy because of work, as long as not for anything else."

The rubbing in my hair stopped.

"meaning?"

"So our neighbor told us, Mas. Her husband was cheating. Though all this time he said that he was busy working, but in fact even busy with other women."

A moment after I said that, I felt Mas Aji's body stiffen. Likely offended.

"Mas isn't like that, is it? I'm loyal, right?" my pancake after releasing the hug.

Mas Aji nodded in doubt. There was a look of anxiety in his eyes. Maybe I'm worried that I know the rotten deeds.

"No way my dear Mas so. Be faithful to you. Love is with you."

I pretended to smile happily. There is a bitterness that I feel.

"To be faithful, Mother. Don't play crazy behind my back. You have to remember that there is me and the kids who are always waiting at home. There's me and the kids who always love me."

"Mas must remember our promise first to keep each other's commitments. May I keep that promise, for I am too."

Mas Aji looked clumsy. Then nod. "Yes, I promise you dear."

As Mas Aji said that, strangely, there was no relief in the heart. Tastes bland. Because maybe I already knew that what he said was a lie. His promise to be faithful is nonsense. In fact, he was playing crazy.